<p>Son is interested in applying to several schools in Virginia, North and South Carolina. We live in New England and visited these schools (both private and public universities). We always felt welcomed, had great tours, but when we asked this question, no one really answered it for us. Now that we are back home, everyone we talk to seems to know someone whose child had problems fitting in at southern schools. Can someone who has been there/done that give me any ideas? Son is outgoing kid, personable, etc. Any insight would be appreciated.</p>
<p>many southern school have plenty of northern students...which colleges does ur son have interest in..</p>
<p>Hi liked Virginia Tech, Clemson, USC (Columbia), Elon, Wake Forest, Univ. of NC.</p>
<p>I do not really understand your question.</p>
<p>I know for certain that if you are speaking of the more modernised areas of Virginia, then no one in heaven's name are going to give a darn if your son is from New England. </p>
<p>In the Carolina's, which are both very civilised areas of the South, no one in heaven's name is going to care if your son is from New England. </p>
<p>If anything, as soon as your son opens his mouth, folks are going to realise that he is from New England and then try to help him feel welcome. At University, that could mean being invited to those little dorm parties or to an introductory fraternity meeting and so on.</p>
<p>"Southern" schools, for the most part, are a smidgen on the preppy side in that your son will notice a lot of classmates referring to everyone over the age of 25 as Ma'am or Sir. I am finishing up my schooling through doing the online degree option, but I used to go to University in Memphis (after spending 15 years in South Florida and So Cal). I literally never knew the names of any of my profs. I would read the name off the schedule the first day and then never hear the prof be called anything but Ma'am or Sir! And then when I would write a report, I would have to look at my University schedule on the quick in order to know the name of the prof.</p>
<p>You might notice that the majority of the fellows dress preppy, but there are always going to be the "Dennis the Menace" types that don't (that is how things are everywhere, really).</p>
<p>But, no one is going to have a darned cow or anything if they meet someone from New England. If your son is truly an outgoing young adult, then he will be home free at University in the South.</p>
<p>Now, the accents are going to be far out for your son.
In Virginia, there are easily three different versions of the same accent, depending on the region.
And in the Carolina's, people either speak in the generic Southern accent or they have a little British/Southern accent (like in "Gone with the Wind", you know?) and that depends on the region as well as the age of the folks.</p>
<p>So, I would say, rock on to your son and that folks will be nice. Especially if your son is personable. Some folks in the south take offense at shyness, because they do not understand how someone cannot be open and honest and friendly from the break.</p>
<p>Thank you so much for your reply. As I said earlier, we felt very welcomed at all schools. Heard through grapevine that at some of the schools with a Greek Life, certain frats/sororities would not be good fit for kid from North. Don't even think son is interested in Greek Life anyway. It is amazing though how many people have told us horror stories of kids not feeling accepted.
Some of the comments came from people we didn't even know. When we visited campuses and parents would ask what schools you had been to and where you were from, many told us what they had heard. Talk about unsolicitated advice! Thanks for you honest answer.</p>
<p>We live in Northern VA which the rest of VA thinks is the North. My D is at Washington and Lee which could be considered a traditional, "preppy" universities in the south.</p>
<p>There are a lot of W&L parents and a few undergrads who are fairly active on CC. We are from many regions of the country.</p>
<p>My D has been at W&L for all of 2 weeks and I have noticed a sprinkling of yes ma'ams in her phone conversations with me. Personally I have no problem with that.</p>
<p>My 2 older ds chose colleges in southern states: W&M in VA, which doesn't have a very southern feel to it, and Vanderbilt, which does. Neither of them experienced a difficult fit, though there were some physical adjustment issues. The heat and humidity posed a challenge at W&M, where many dorms aren't air-conditioned. My middle d had a tough bout with allergies last spring, though she never experienced much hay fever in upstate NY.</p>
<p>Nashville presents a very different atmosphere from what my d grew up with, but she likes most of the differences and finds the rest somewhat intriguing. In particular, she loves the noticeable emphasis on good manners and friendliness.</p>
<p>I agree that the guys seem to dress in a preppier style than what I've seen on local campuses. However, I've also seen schlumpy guys in t-shirts and flip-flops on the Vanderbilt campus (albeit for move-out, after finals, when no one is looking his best).</p>
<p>For the OP - how about overnight visits at the schools your s likes best?</p>
<p>Most Virginia schools are filled with kids from Northern Virginia, which is nothing like the rest of the south. Go to places like Liberty and W&L and you'll find a greater "southern feel" than other colleges.</p>
<p>You wouldn't believe how many Yankees moved south in the last 20 years, and their kids are now attending those southern schools. A lot of the kids will have friends and family up north, and wouldn't even blink at another Yankee. D born, bred and raised in TX is now in Mass and has met a lot of New Englanders. Has friends from NY, CA, TX, Conn, NJ, etc. BTW, all out family is in Chicago area, and her friend whose family came from Ohio is at UT. Colleges are quite diverse today. I wouldn't worry about it.</p>
<p>Another issue is the personal space issue. Southerners tend to be more physically demonstrative - back slapping, quick hugs, hellos and smiles at complete strangers, more eye contact, etc. This can be unnerving for some people from the North. Of course, many southerners are uncomfortable in northern environs because their natural tendency toward contact is looked upon negatively and their slower speech style is incorrectly assumed to be stupidity or lack of proper sophistication. I agree, the best way for your son to determine if any of these things will make it difficult for him to feel comfortable and accepted is to do overnite visits where he will have to mingle with the students on his own. Many southern students adjust well and thrive in more Northern states and many northern students love going to school in the South. For others, the differences are just to striking to be comfortable.</p>
<p>We're from CT and my son is a freshman in SC - we immediately noticed that people in the south were friendlier and more helpful - and there was the ever-present "sir" and "ma'am," which I hadn't heard so much since my Navy days. All in all, a refreshing change. </p>
<p>It's good for our kids to experience other parts of the country. Also, it's a "plus" for him/her to go to school more distant as far as adding diversity to the campus.</p>
<p>My son swears that he will never pick up any southern catchphrases - and that he'll pay us $10 if he says "y'all."</p>
<p>Can speak personally to Elon, Wake, and Chapel Hill--had sons at the first two and daughter in law at the third. Both Elon and Wake have significant northern populations of students. On my son's dorm floor last year at Wake only 3 boys were from the "south"--one of which was my son. If anything, he felt like he was the one who had changed geographic locations ;). At Elon, my son's 3 closest friends were from NJ, RI and CT. Chapel Hill, of course has a much larger population from NC as it is a state school---however, the student body is so much larger that more diversity is found. Tell him not to worry about the "southerners"--all in all are very friendly people:).</p>
<p>My S attends N C State. It's OOS population is probably around 10% or so and yet my southern S has a roommate from Chicago that he thinks the world of and another very close friend at school who is from Iowa. He also has a friend from New York in his ROTC unit.<br>
Last year when the Iowa friend had nowhere to go for T'giving (too close to Christmas to fly to Iowa and back), he piled in the car with several other guys from our town and spent T'giving with their families. I think boys in general are pretty laid back about the whole thing. They expect to meet people from all over at college.</p>
<p>At my son's college, Roanoke, 40% (or thereabouts) of the students are from out of state. The majority come from the mid-atlantic states. Our son is really enjoying his college so far. We lived in Roanoke for a year and found people to be very welcoming.</p>
<p>We visited quite a few southern schools and some struck me as more southern that others. Emory, Duke and Richmond seemed like northern schools. We detected sourthern influence at UVA, UNC, and WF (better dressed students, a bit more formal, very friendly). W&L seemed VERY southern to us even though there were a quite few northern students. We saw a confederate flag draped outside a window and we learned that the students really dressed up for football games. Great school, but not a good match for our son. Regarding adjustment problems, we know of only one student who has had problems - someone who went to the U of Alabama on full scholarship. There IS an adjustment for northerners but I think our son would have done fine at most of the southern schools. He ended up in rural PA - and as Philadelphians - we find the people out there (especially administrators and faculty) to be much friendlier than what we're used to. You don't realize how "cold" most big city Northeasterners are until you get out of the environment.</p>
<p>Can't speak for Emory or Duke but appropriate dress for football games at Wake, Chapel Hill, Richmond, UVa and W&L is most definitely sundress for girls and oxford&tie for guys.</p>
<p>Oh gosh, that Confederate flag nonsense still pops up sometimes in the South.
I live in a predominately African American city (kinda, like duh-see my location by my nic) and every once in a while, I even see one! </p>
<p>Please do not think that is the norm, though.</p>
<p>SeptMom - I am a parent whose child went in the other direction - South to North, so I can't truly answer your question. BUT, I think a kid who is outgoing, friendly, slightly more middle of the road to slightly preppy will have no trouble at all. There are plenty of liberal, artsy, gay people, emos and Goths in the South, too - certainly at Va Tech and UNC there are people of all persuasions, those 2 are large universities.
Overall, though the South is more conservative in many ways than other parts of the country. And, of course, we have our share of rude and obnoxious people as well - no doubt.
Friends of mine who have transplanted South notice a couple of things. First, the politeness is engrained in peoples' bones. This makes it hard to read people, if you aren't tuned into it. This will not be much of an issue for a male college student - he will be mostly with his peers who will be mostly straightforward. This is more of a problem for adults interacting in social situations and the workplace. In the South a person, especially a grown woman, can hate your guts and still be unfailing polite.
The second thing my friend noticed is that religion is much more a part of ordinary life in the South. This is often interpreted as "You'll get Jerry Falwell's grandson for a roommate!", but that is overly simplistic. You are most likely to get someone who has gone to church regularly growing up - Sun morning, Sun night and Wed night, or some combo thereof - who probably won't attend church regularly as a college student, but has internalized to some degree the idea of religion and church going.</p>
<p>My daughter from Pennsylvania is a freshman at USC ( Columbia) IT has only been a few weeks but I don't think she feels out of place at all. She was offered a bid at a sorority and is having a blast with all of her new friends. She was pretty much set on a Southern school though, so she went in with that attitude. We also met her roommmate before hand and made sure she had an OOS roommmate so that they would have each other if a lot of students went home for weekends and stuff. ( hasn't been a problem - and she loves her roommate)
I would not be afraid at all ! Good luck!</p>
<p>Oh - the formality is there - people in general dress up more, but a male college student will mostly need 5 pairs of flip-flops, 10 Guy Harvey T-shirts, a pair of Birkenstocks (NO SOCKS, God forbid), 5 pairs of khaki shorts, and baseball cap. Add one button down oxford cloth shirt, khaki long pants, conservative tie and navy blazer and he can even make it through rush and the football games. He can worry about winter formal later.</p>
<p>And what my daughter has noticed is that the "middle to upper middle class culture" is almost universal. These kids have more in common than not, and the differences are what makes college such a great experience.</p>