son is broke, what is best way to handle

<p>Ski trips on breaks? Really?..
Who said anything about ski trips…just you. Are ski trips revolting to you? You just disagree… No worries just a thought, every parent gets to do what they think achieves the outcome they desire when they pay to send their student to college. </p>

<p>OP’s son may be on a campus that is expensive to live on and around, I’m sure he will get his $$ situation balanced a bit better.</p>

<p>My mistake – no ski trips in your post. Perhaps I combined your post with another, although your post still leaves me with a vision of kids running around with no credit limit plastic in their wallets.</p>

<p>OP’s son had better sort out his priorities and put studies ahead of alcohol and skirt chasing, or he will have bigger problems than wasting a semester of his parent’s money. At least if his major is a serious study and not mostly an exercise in networking.</p>

<p>though your post still leaves me with a vision of kids running around with no credit limit plastic in their wallets.</p>

<p>It is true that some students have a trust funding their college & it must also cover " other" expenses as well because many students don’t have paying jobs during college, some don’t qualify for work study so their jobs are off campus, or some can’t afford transportation & don’t qualify for work study so they are always broke, cause summer earnings don’t last long after paying for books- etc.</p>

<p>However I think Olympiclady has brought up good points- in that unless you want your child to feel like Cinderella- anticipating social expenses are part of COA.</p>

<p>Re tuition per credit hour versus a flat rate:</p>

<p>Both of my kids paid flat rates – one at a flagship state university, the other at an Ivy League school. In every semester, they took between 12 and 18 credits. I don’t know what would have happened if they had gone under or over those limits.</p>

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<p>This varies depending on the student’s major and the number of AP credits the student enters with. Some students have substantial discretion in terms of course choices and the number of credit hours they take. Others, in more structured programs (or in situations where they can’t make use of AP credits or don’t have any) have much less choice. Students who plan to use their AP credits to try to graduate in six or seven semesters may have very little “give” in their programs.</p>

<p>My son, who had some AP credits and who took more than 15 credits during some of his early semesters in college, was able to take only 12 credits in each of his last 3 semesters – which allowed him more time for undergraduate research. And he was in a highly structured major – computer science. My daughter, who is in a less structured major, economics, and who has an abundance of AP credits, was able to deliberately take a light courseload during the semester when she was heavily involved in on-campus recruiting, and has only one graduation requirement left to fulfill in her last semester. </p>

<p>Such situations are not unusual, and they can give students opportunities to plan their curricula and their lives in ways that work best for them – as both of my kids did.</p>

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<p>Alcohol is a problem, yes, but having a girlfriend might not be. A relationship between two serious students does not necessarily interfere with their studies.</p>

<p>We are a middle class family, probably a little more upper middle class than my S’s hs friends. Yet he was one of two out of the group that had a job the summer before college. And this wasn’t because they couldn’t get a job, they just weren’t expected to work. Needing him to contribute money aside, I think that working teaches you the value of a dollar, especially in an entry level, low wage, grunt work kind of job. And the importance of the education in getting a better job.</p>

<p>My S is attending a state flagship, and his roommate is definitely more affluent. Has his own car at campus, more disposable income, etc. In actuality, S blew his money having the ‘best summer ever’, but not having money to do things with his roommate definitely showed him the need to save and perhaps to have taken more shifts over the summer.</p>

<p>And friends of his are taking ski trips over the break. In fact I expect S to take at least a day trip or two, since he has been working like mad since he got back. I think his college offers discount tickets, so it’s not like he’s off to Gstaad or something.</p>

<p>Lots of very middle-class kids go skiing over break at Wisconsin. You could drive to Colorado in a long day, stay in a cheaper hotel or ski dorm and eat at cheaper places. I paid my own way on trips to Vail, Aspen, Breckenridge, and Steamboat over the various winter and spring breaks and it was not very expensive The school ski club also had lots of group trips that were very reasonable(today they are going to Big Sky for a week-$650 (bus) inclusive plus food/drink or Lake Tahoe for $715 (flying). Met lots of other midwest students. Students could get discounted lift tickets too. Total trip cost was around $300-$400 back in the 70’s.</p>

<p>We are lowish middle & we are leaving for a ski trip right now! ( if I can find my keys)
We are driving- have our own equipment & while we usually just get trail passes and go x-country skiing- this place also has lifts- so H & D2 are bringing appropriate gear.</p>

<p>The place we are staying has discounted tickets & I don’t expect we will be skiing everyday ( in fact I will be snowshowing & innertubing, but probably not skiing)</p>

<p>We also bring lots of our own snacks & while we used to stay at a very inexpensive B & B that provided all meals, this time we are staying ( at another area), in a hotel that has a fridge & microwave- this is the only vacation we take all year & I expect we will not have to eat more than one meal out a day.( the hotel has complimentary breakfasts)</p>

<p>A mt. vacation doesn’t have to be exotic or expensive & it is great fun & good exercise!</p>

<p>My kids both attend/ed a pricey private U that is known for many full-pay wealthy kids as well as many merit & FAid kids. They have made friends with both types of kids and the school provides funding for school orgs so the kids can participate regardless of ability to pay (e.g. rock climbing, aeronautics, & many other activities). That said, it is useful for the kid to have spending money (especially if the kid earns some of it so it’s REAL $$$ rather than what the folks dole out). Have noticed with my kids, they have always spent THEIR $$$ more carefully than any we’ve handed them.</p>

<p>D got a job her 2nd day on campus as a transfer student, just so she’d have spending $$ & funds to do what she needed there; S waited until he had been there for about 2 years before he got a job in a research lab. Many of her buddies also have part-time jobs to help defray costs & for spending $$$. She also has friends who have everything handed to them & is able to navigate both worlds smoothly. Some socializing IS important, but costs widely vary and is something she & her friends discuss up front & try to minimize.</p>

<p>When they go for Spring Break, they get discount air tickets & often sleep in sleeping bags on the floors of friends’ dorm rooms. It doesn’t get much cheaper than that! The fares they got were cheaper than anything I could find!</p>

<p>“Alcohol is a problem, yes, but having a girlfriend might not be. A relationship between two serious students does not necessarily interfere with their studies.”</p>

<p>I was thinking more of men who party for hook-ups.</p>

<p>I wonder why the OP hasn’t returned…</p>

<p>We can debate without her. No problem.</p>

<p>When my son was a college freshman, I asked him whether he and his friends ever went out to eat at the restaurants in the small business district next to the campus.</p>

<p>He gave me The Look and pointed out that it was a state university, and that at state universities, people’s financial situations range from rich to flat broke. All his friends lived in the dorms and were on the required meal plan, and it was considered rude to suggest that people forego their prepaid meals and pay for another meal elsewhere. His crowd also made an effort to do social things that everyone could afford – which often meant video game tournaments or movie marathons in the dorm rooms of people who owned the necessary equipment. </p>

<p>From the comments above, I guess such sensitivity is not universal.</p>

<p>I would think that it just really depends.
My D1 had lots of friends @ her private lac, who didn’t need work study jobs. However her college also had “scroungers” who lived off campus/not on a meal plan who would haunt the commons @ meal time at the pre-arranged site, where they would feast on leftovers. (They seemed to be trust fund babies whose trust only paid for tuition) In general you wouldn’t know who came from money and who didn’t. The grey fund paid for on campus entertainment, everyone shopped @ the Goodwill bins & the cities transportation was good so cars weren’t needed. Those things were actually part of the criteria when lloing at college-( well, not the scroungers) ;)</p>

<p>Marion: Nah, it seems most kids do just fine at their schools once they settle in. However, State Uni’s are not like our days…the competition of admissions has pushed a lot, if not the majority of offspring of the upper echelon of society down, down, down from the Ivy’s and “potted Ivy’s”, and they are landing in droves in Public U and Privates that award merit aid. Everything is off kilter these days and all I’m saying is, as parents, we need to adjust to a new reality or else we risk the old " walked 5 miles to school in the snow when I was your age" label! In Calif. the UC’s are stuffed with the well off, or out right rich kids- or kids on full grant aid. The Regents’ are trying to adjust the aid limits up just so some middle class kids can attend. What is happening here is if your kid does not get into UC, (very likely if the kid is coming from a highly rated Public or Private HS-State charter makes sure a % of students from EVERY HS are accepted to UC) they flood to Arizona, Oregon, Colorado and Washington rather than attend most of the CSU’s. CSU’S are VERY impacted. The State is losing a lot of full pays who are willing to pay more to go to an OOS Flagship. But, the kids who have a lot of support in education and EC’s, who might have gone to a private eastern/southern/mid western College in our days, are the top students who attend the Public schools now. There is a significant culture shift. </p>

<p>So, it is not just the elite U’s or LAC’s that are different fromcollege years, so are many, many Public Uni’s. </p>

<p>It was a lot easier to keep your finger on the pulse when your kid was in HS and we were very involved in their lives. Now, I find I have to keep an open, flexible approach to what the college student’s life is, and what the full cost really is.</p>

<p>Peace…it’s Christmas Eve tomorrow, which is lights, camera, action for my family, so I better hupp-too and wrap a bit. </p>

<p>Let’s all enjoy our families, especially those college creatures home for a small amount of time. Until next year…</p>

<p>I have been to quite a few state U college towns and it sure seems that students are eating at the local off-campus joints in droves. Then there are the bars with lines outside Thurs and Friday nights–I think they still charge and beer has been replaced by martinis and mixed drinks. The one thing that has disappeared is the more classic clothing stores with suits and oxford shirts, etc. Most of the 25-50+ restaurants are priced to a student budget meaning under $10/person but they seem to be doing just fine. Not to mention the dozens of $4/cup coffee places with long lines between classes. The idea that they just east in the commons and play Wii seems very at odds with what I see.</p>

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<p>At both my son’s and daughter’s schools, there were “off campus joints” where the students could use dining card points to purchase food.</p>

<p>As others have noted, the kid made a mistake. Not an unique one either. I wouldn’t punish he for it, but he needs to share in the natural consequences of spending too much. Too shelter him from that is not going to teach him the pain that overspending brings. So I suggest that the parents and he sit down and work out a plan to get things back on track. </p>

<p>This could be a very valuable lesson to learn. There are people who never figure it out and live their lives in a financial quagmire.</p>