<p>I’m not sure I agree with the suggestions of an overseas semester. If this young man is feeling burned out and stressed out in the familiar setting of his home university then study abroad does not seem appropriate at this time and may just add to the stress.</p>
<p>I don’t think most physics majors would be very interested in a semester overseas. Because of the prerequisite classes and other details, it tend to be very hard to go overseas and still make adequate progress on a degree…and many science/engineering types would see a semester overseas that doesn’t progress them toward their degree as not the best use of their time. </p>
<p>Of course, there will be a physics graduate on here that did a semester overseas and is proud of it. But I don’t think that the majority of physics majors find overseas to be particularly interesting.</p>
<p>I was an Honors Chemistry major eons ago- then became a physician (I’m a woman). I remember being in my second year of medical school basic sciences and thinking that if there were one more year of that instead of the wards I would quit I was so burnt out with all of the bookwork/labs. I can easily see where a physics/chemistry student heading towards grad school can get burnt out. He has gone through a lot of high power science, with plenty of lab time to boot. It will be good for him to talk to people (advisor, dean, professors) at his school and get their input. Let him tell you his thoughts after those discussions. </p>
<p>It may be a good thing for him to take a break from the academic ratrace he has found himself in and to figure out more about what he really wants in life. He may be good at what he does but there’s something missing. He may miss the fields after some time away or be relieved at leaving them. Best time in his life to pause is now- not in the midst of a grad program he just can’t quite finish because his heart isn’t in it. He probably was beginning to feel he was becoming trapped in the path he started on. </p>
<p>Hopefully he can do some career aptitude/interest tests through his college counseling center. They may reveal some surprises. He may end up changing directions- better to do so before he gets a degree. It seems it would be easier to spend an extra year meeting requirements for another major instead of having to enroll with a degree. Yes, there will be living expenses and health insurance to deal with. This may be the best thing he has ever done. It takes courage to get off the wheel/treadmill, to take time away from constantly moving forward.</p>
<p>Please be supportive of him. “Finding himself” now sure beats keeping in a wrong career for life because he got tracked into it since HS. Good luck.</p>
<p>I’d listen to him . . . He sounds like a responsible kid and if he says he needs a break . . . well, maybe he does. The fact that he sounded “very emotional” despite things being okay on the surface (3.8 GPA, friends, girlfriend) especially makes me think this. Isn’t it better for him to take a break now, with a high GPA and things “under control” than after he potentially cracks or lets his GPA slip due to feeling stressed out? It’s not like he wants to leave school forever.</p>
<p>Thank you all for the thoughtful comments. He is talking to someone in the morning. I have told him I am behind whatever he decides. I totally agree that a break could help him. I’m not sure there is another option for him. He seems to loves the field, worked all summer with Physicists, even got published. I asked if he was having second thoughts about his major.
I will report tomorrows outcome 
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<p>I believe OP has her son’s best interest at heart and is not ignoring his needs. Keep in mind something while you tell her to back off and do whatever he wants… she’s a single mom getting no financial aid and her son’s been helping to pay for college. Any changes made may alter his co-op opportunity. His health must absolutely come first, however mom is part of this equation. If he loses the co-op, and goes back next semester, she has no one to turn to to help her absorb the tuition. This is something that has to be talked about, as her son did. Possibly employers contacted to see what the ramifications would be. If her son does not finish the semester at this point, does he simply fail his classes? How do they show up on his transcript if he chooses to apply to graduate school. These are things that need to be discussed now.</p>
<p>Yes, ultimately her son’s health needs to come first… but don’t discount ‘mom’s’ own panic attack that’s going on right now as she’s figuring out how the heck she’s going to support her son emotionally AND pay for this.</p>
<p>Do let us know how the meeting goes with the Dean tomorrow. I believe that something will be worked out for your son.</p>
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<p>That is probably the best gift you can give him–your wholehearted support. I’ll be interested to see what comes from his talk with someone in the department.</p>
<p>My D (also a physics major) got to a point where she didn’t see how she was ever going to finish her degree–the last physics classes she took as a sophomore almost killed her. She went into her advisor at the beginning of junior year and asked him quite honestly–“Do I have what it takes to finish this degree or should I move on to another major?” </p>
<p>She and her advisor looked at her strengths, found a path that could lead to a physics degree with her taking classes that played on her strengths (ended up taking 3 computer science classes that counted toward her degree), and she was good to go. In fact, those computer science classes led to her after graduation job.</p>
<p>I hope that if your S has a similar problem that he and his advisor will be able to come up with a workable plan. Good luck and let us know…</p>
<p>Different people have different solutions to challenging semesters.</p>
<p>One semester I had an extremely challenging semseter. I was so busy and my classes were so hard that I nearly quit. About three weeks in, I woke up and decided I needed to drop a class. I looked over my grades and saw I had an A in everyone of them, and I wasn’t going to drop a class that I had an A in.</p>
<p>My next strategy was to not worry about the whole semester but to worry about the next two days. What did I need to do in order to survive the next two days. And then I did just that. I only looked toward the next quiz or the next exam and didn’t worry about the whole term.</p>
<p>It was very challenging. Words cannot describe how focused I was that semster. But I learned the material and learned it well.</p>
<p>Good luck to your son.</p>
<p>Support him. </p>
<p>My S who is a 5th year senior and finally finishing, has had this same problem since junior year, only he wasn’t able to come to us and articulate a problem. He just flaked out, started skipping classes, and otherwise made sure he had to ultimately withdraw for the semester.</p>
<p>It is better to withdraw under controlled circumstances, with the blessing of the dean.</p>
<p>It woud be ideal if he can do work during his time off that related to his major–or other majors he might be interested in. Good luck!</p>
<p>I have a feeling that the Dean will give him a list of options, perhaps options that we haven’t considered here. I definitely know what burnout feels like and sometimes you just need a break. And sometimes your body makes you take a break whether you want it or not.</p>
<p>Yes support him but after things settle down, encourage him to speak with a mental health professional. This kid needs to talk some things through, and might well be depressed. He is not freaking out because his classes are too hard; he’s freaking out because he’s sad all the time.</p>
<p>I would consider a physical checkup with bloodwork too.</p>
<p>Deficiencies (minerals, electrolytes, etc.) can result from working too hard.</p>
<p>I took a semester off, and in hindsight I am sure I made my parents crazy. Albeit I was halfway around the world on a study abroad program and decided to leave the program after 1/2 yr (I did finish out the semester) and then found a job teaching there. I had already extra credits from heavy semester loads and credits coming in from HS…so I actually still graduated on time. It can work out. I’d just worry that since the semester is in full swing, you lose $$?</p>
<p>If he were to withdraw now, he would get W for all of his classes on his transcript. He would need to explain those Ws every time he applies for job/school. Of course his health comes first, but I would weigh that when making a decision.</p>
<p>No, I don´t believe a 20 year old understands all the ramifications of their action. It is important for OP to guide her son through this.</p>
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<p>I have never had to supply a transcript for any job that I’ve applied for and I had an F in a course that I blew off along with Cs in subjects that I didn’t like and As in subjects that I did like. My work record and skills spoke for themselves. No problem getting into grad school either.</p>
<p>This student sounds like he has an excellent background. Yes, he may need to explain the Ws in the future but the high GPA, work record and publication provide a testimony to his abilities.</p>
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<p>Just because that’s true at Cornell does not mean it’s true everywhere. At my school, if he were to take a medical leave now, there would be no record of the semester on his transcript. It would simply say “On Leave” for the semester. There are also some schools where you can drop without a W quite late in the semester.</p>
<p>My son, who is now in graduate school, also talked about taking time off at about the same point in undergraduate. He wasn’t as emotionally wrought as OP’s son sounds but his reasons were similar. He felt he’d been in school all his life, the constant studying, tests, studying, tests, papers, etc. was getting to him and he felt he wanted some time to experience the real world.</p>
<p>I remember a talk I’d attended given by the Dean of Students at his school on parents weekend his first or second year. The Dean had talked about the efforts they were making to keep kids from dropping out stating some statistic about how many students drop out after sophomore year. I happened to remember the part about sophomore year because that is when I dropped out myself and it was three years before I went back. My reasons were primarily financial but I think that the point between sophomore and junior year can be a particularly tough time.</p>
<p>I was able to talk to my son about my own experience which was that by dropping out I lost touch with that sense of being part of a particular class (as in class of 2012). On returning, the students I had started with were now gone and my peers were no longer the regular students but the non-traditional students, many of whom were married. My son decided to stay and instead he took a year off between undergraduate and graduate school. He did take the GED during his senior year so he would have that done with.</p>
<p>I think it is important to talk to your son about that aspect of dropping out. I think he probably thinks he will come back and everything will be where he left off. But that’s not true. The students he is now in class with will have moved on to the next level and when he returns he will be with students who are sophomores, or freshmen, or even high school students now, depending on when he returns.</p>
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<p>This brought tears to my eyes. What a wonderful gift to give your child.</p>
<p>It’s funny that someone mentioned studying abroad because that is exactly what my very bright, hard working sister did. She just hit the wall and was done with college. Instead she went abroad for her junior year, finished her senior year with her BA, worked for a year and then attended a Seven Sister college on a full scholarship for her MA. </p>
<p>She’s never been in that mindset before or since. I think sometimes our brains just put on the brakes and we don’t know why. Having said that, my parents did insist on a full physical and I would as well if it were my student. Memory diminishing can be a symptom of a whole lot of different things. </p>
<p>I wish you and your son the very best of luck.</p>
<p>It´s not just Cornell that gives out W when withdrawing after the drop period. It is a fairly common practice among colleges. </p>
<p>As far as transcript, it never leaves you, especially for your FIRST job. I haven´t used my transcript after my first few jobs. There were quite a few parents on another thread who gave examples of having to provide their transcripts even 20 to 30 years later.</p>
<p>My husband had to dig out transcripts to apply to graduate school last year. Regardless of a stellar career, he was drug down by decisions made as a 19yo who thought his fraternity social life was more important than school his first two years. Dean’s list his last year didn’t even gloss over his earlier marks.<br>
He started out at a grad school he wasn’t thrilled with, got A’s in a few classes, and is now transferring to a school that is far more convenient to where he works and has a much better program. So yes, that transcript can come back to bite you in the bum after 20-some years. You can work around it…but it can be a pain.</p>