<p>There are examples of people who have to provide transcripts for jobs but it is by far in the minority and more than likely only when applying for jobs through the university career center.</p>
<p>To say that he will have to explain it every time he applies for a job is a bit much.</p>
<p>It will show up on grad school applications regardless of when he applies. But grad school is not on his mind today right now.</p>
<p>If he is thinking of withdrawing for the semester, he is not concerned about a few years from now. He is thinking of today and of this week. To help him through this time, the parents also need to think of today and this week. Telling him his decision is bad for some reason five years down the line means they aren’t relating to the situation.</p>
<p>Again, try telling a person having a panic attack on an airplane that she will be out in 3 hours. 3 hours is a reasonable length of time for you and me, but not reasonable if you are having a panic attack. Try telling the person how to handle the next 5 seconds is more reasonable. Then 5 more seconds. Then 5 more seconds…etc, etc, etc.</p>
<p>If he intends to be a university researcher or professor, submitting transcripts will be common throughout his career. It will also matter for private lab jobs for a while too. I am concerned about OP, sonce she said financial aid is important and the loss of a semester, the student loans, the loss of a good paid internship all cause concern. I hope that he can hold out until the end of the semester at least.</p>
<p>Is he working as well as studying? Even though there might be some financial hardship, maybe it would help if he quit his job for the rest of the semester. When I was a junior, I was a full-time student with a double major taking an extra 4-hour class and working 3 part-time jobs. In addition, one of the majors was theater, so I had to put in long hours at rehearsals. I made it through the year, but in my senior year, decided to drop one of the jobs. That made all the difference in reducing the stress level.</p>
<p>I took the year off–a year abroad–between undergrad and grad school. That was a wonderful time. I had a job teaching English. I don’t think I read one book all year that wasn’t a tourist book. There was no internet back them, but I wrote voluminous letters and traveled every chance I got. Then I was able to come back and go straight through with a Master’s & Ph.D. in 5 years.</p>
<p>He’s not working during school. His job is in off school times. The internship is not associated with the University. He talked to dean’s office this morning again, and I think his only option right now is to leave. I’m numb at this point. In the larger scheme of things, it’s only a semester…hopefully. That’s how I have to think about it. I’m still letting this whole thing sink in. He has never liked to go to school. I basically, sometimes literally, dragged him to school for the first twelve years. He really seemed to be enjoying college.</p>
<p>I don’t think anyone is suggesting the OP ignore her son’s concerns and make light of the situation. The point is, the transcript may be an issue in the future. Finding out what the ramifications are and handling the situation with all the facts is the right thing to do. There may be a way to withdrawal from some, or all of his classes on a medical basis IF he goes through the proper channels. There may be several different solutions available based on information we don’t know. The point is for the OP to be supportive, but involved and make sure that every possible step is taken to insure her son’s health is taken care of AND his academic record is kept in tact. This will take communication that her son may not have the energy for. We simply don’t know. However the co-op, transcript, etc., are not things to simply be ignored. There are certainly ways to be proactive and try to communicate and preserve his status while allowing him time off if that’s what he needs.</p>
<p>NOTE:</p>
<p>I crossed posts with OP… obviously some of this is hindsight now.</p>
<p>Peeweepete - Give yourself a break. This is tough on you too! Has your son agreed to a physical? As other’s pointed out there could be several things that brought him to this point. You mentioned he wants to stay on campus. Is he in the dorms, and will he be allowed to stay? If not can you (together) pay for expenses off campus? I know my concern as a parent is if he got to this point I would want to have my eyes on him. Without classes to go to, it may be easy to self medicate with alcohol and long days sleeping. This would not be the best way to get back to a healthy place where he wants to attend classes again.
Do you know if he will be allowed a medical withdrawal? This may make a difference on the transcript. It’s something that you may not want to think about now, however once the semester is over and the grades go in it will be much harder to have the amended.
I hope you are able to see your son soon and give him reassurance that together you will work this out.
Peace.</p>
<p>Of course if someone is about having a mental breakdown then it doesn´t matter about what happens to his transcript. But if he had a big fight with his friend/girlfriend, and is just being emotional about the situation at the moment, then he should be fully aware of options and make sure he is sensible about his decision.</p>
<p>OP´s son may not be very clear in his head right now because he obviously is going through something. It is why it´s helpful for his mother to help him sort it out. People on this board are pointing out some potential issues if her son should withdraw, and not every issue may apply to her son. OP and her son need to weigh benefits and risks before they make a decision. </p>
<p>Young people tend to be short sighted, and even adults may not have all the necessary information. My daughter was going to withdraw from a very difficult class (an elective no less). She told me that it would be no big deal to get a W on her transcript(her friends on campus told her). It was only after I have consulted few people to understand implication of a W. After she had all the information, she decided to stick it out. It is still the worst grade she has ever received, but it´s better than a W.</p>
<p>Honestly sometimes people on this website are nuts. Nobody is going to care about a W.</p>
<p>Sheesh.</p>
<p>I remember when my oldest D came home from her freshman year in HS one day crying. When I asked her what was wrong, she said her teacher had told her that the C she had gotten on her test was going to follow her around for the rest of her life and make it impossible for her to pursue her goals. Honestly.</p>
<p>You know, there’s not one single way someone can fail in life that can’t be overcome in another way. Not one!</p>
<p>Good luck to your son. I hope he finds some balance and perspective. Life is long. There are a million different paths to be followed. Following the one single path straight to emotional oblivion hardly seems like the “best” one. Ever.</p>
<p>ETA: My daughter had to explain a W on her transcript for an internship. They really didn’t care that the reason was because of a conflict with an activity which had no bearing at all on school. She simply stated that she had prefered to spend her time doing X. They nodded and gave her the internship. “All work and no play…” folks.</p>
<p>Is a W really that much of a dealbreaker? S took one last quarter (not in a major course) and we all viewed it as preferable to a low grade in an already very sub-par quarter. </p>
<p>I’d encourage OP’s S to go visit the mental health services on his campus for an evaluation (plus a thorough physical with a MD). I’d also think about dropping one class, as long as it means he is still full-time and is able to keep FA, etc.</p>
<p>I think this is pretty full of yourself statement to meake. I based my opinion on what I know and people I spoke with. I am very happy your daughter´s ONE internship didn´t care. Whether an employer cares or not depends on how many people are applying. If they have over 200 applicants for one spot, then they could pick and choose. It is no different than applying to top tier schools. If you have 20,000 applicants to choose for 1000 spots…</p>
<p>I’m a little confused right now about the last post – “his only option is to leave” – I’m not sure how that becomes the “only” option for someone who is attending classes and doing well. Is there something that has not been revealed? Perhaps some possible disciplinary charge we are unaware of? (I realize that the son might not be disclosing all to the mother, so OP may not have the answers either). It’s just that a sudden decision to leave mid-semester, accompanied by a very “emotional” son who has been discussing options with his Dean – and reports that the “only” option is to leave immediately – is experiencing something more than ennui. </p>
<p>On the other hand - my main reason for posting is that my son quit college at the end of his 2nd year – spent 3 years working & living on his own – and later returned to finish his degree at a different college – and in hindsight it very clearly was the best decision he could have made. The choice paid off for him in a number of ways. </p>
<p>I gave him my personal support at the time, though I made clear that I expected him to support himself financially with employment if he wasn’t in school. His health insurance was paid by his employer. </p>
<p>Whatever the issue is, I think that as long as the young person is taking responsibility for their own life, including financial self-support – it really is their decision to make, and it is not necessarily a bad one. As I said, I think there is more to the story - my son certainly had withheld some important details that would have helped me better understand his situation – but the point is, it isn’t the end of the world or the end of the young person’s educational career… though it might in many cases be the “end” of an extended adolescence and dependency on parental support.</p>
<p>I really, honestly, don’t care if you think this is a “full of yourself” statement to make.</p>
<p>The kid is in pain and burnt out and can’t go on. How on earth yammering on and on about the effects of those W’s is going to have is going to help is beyond me. It isn’t useful. at all.</p>
<p>poetgirl - as I stated before, we DON´T know what the kid´s situation is. Where are you getting that the kid is in pain and burnt out and can´t go on? Even the mother only knows the kid wants to leave, she doesn´t know why. You are making a lot of assumptions here. </p>
<p>you are assuming you know what´s going, at least I am saying that just in case if OP´s son was just having a bump on the road now, then…</p>
<p>What´s useful about CC is there are many different people with different experiences.</p>
<p>My point in stating being successful is that there are many paths to success and all of them most definitely do NOT include a W-free transcript. Talk about full of yourself. :rolleyes:</p>
<p>No one says that a successful life has to include a ‘W-free’ transcript. I think what people are trying to point out is that sometimes a W on a transcript (or a semester of W’s) may cause employer’s or graduate schools to pause. In this process if the transcript can be addressed so that the W may not appear, then all the better. All this means is the OP doesn’t throw up her hands and say ‘Okay. Well that’s that.’. It means that if her son is unable, or unwilling to further advocate for himself, she may be able to help him take time off AND mitigate some damage. Maybe not…but it’s certainly worth trying.</p>
<p>Yes. But some of them are “full of themselves,” I suppose, and some of them are just experiences??? Is that your point?</p>
<p>If an engineering student says he/she is unable to absorb important information and is burnt out? Then give them a break. </p>
<p>Sometimes people get so incredibly caught up in the details they forget the bigger picture. There is life and then there is a job/career. Do you live to work or do you work to live?</p>
<p>Take your pick. You really can’t have both.</p>
<p>That is my full of myself opinion. TTFN as Tigger used to say. Carry on.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>This is a valid point. Absolutely. If the point is that the parent gets involved to get the W’s off the transcript…not if the parent somehow attempts to pressure the kid.</p>
<p>poetgirl - I still stand by that you are very full of yourself. You have no ability to think there are people who may live differently than you do, and have different values than you do.</p>
<p>Good luck to you and your son. Whatever happens remember that it is not the end of his life or future. Everyone goes through life changing choices and decades later most will have a good life, even if different than thought at age 20.</p>
<p>Laughably, that is a good self-analysis you’ve done of yourself, however, not even close to the truth about me.</p>
<p>good luck to the OP and her son. Many things “happen” in life for which we only understand the “reason” in hindsight. I hope he is able to get what he needs.</p>
<p>Folks, lets stop with the personal fights here.</p>
<p>What some are saying sounds very much like “if you don’t pass the test, you will fail the class. If you drop the class, you will get a W. If you get a W, you will not get into grad school. If you don’t get into grad school, you won’t get the job you want. If you don’t get the job you want, you will fail at life.”</p>
<p>More than likely, that is the exact thought process going on in the OP S’s mind. </p>
<p>I’d advise to stop worrying about grad school, Ws, life after graduation, and everything that lies beyond the next two weeks. Instead, think about what he needs to do to prepare himself for quizzes or exams this week and next. Next week, work on what needs to be done to get through next week and the following.</p>