My son is a freshman rooming with his best friend at a school that is 3 hours away. We’ve always gotten along well with the family. Here’s something, though, that is bugging me. My son is involved in an activity here on Saturdays, so my husband or I go up every Friday to get him and take him back to school every Sunday. It’s a heck of a drive. His roommate has been asking to ride with us every Friday, and then we take them back on Sundays. Since my son has to come home on weekends due to his Saturday activity, would it be unfair to ask his roommate’s parents to drive a leg now and then? We’d be doing the driving anyway, but it is kinda bothering me that his roommate & his parents seem to be taking advantage of that fact. Should I keep my mouth shut and continue doing all of the driving that we admittedly would be doing anyway? I’m not even sure how I would initiate the conversation. 
I’d ask—you have nothing to lose and they may be happy to help drive the boys too.
Doesn’t hurt to ask but since you would be going anyway I would not get upset if they say no. Perhaps their son would not come home without the ride. If it would help at all you certainly can have his parents pick his friend up/drop him off at your house instead of providing door to door service. And you should not change your timing on either end of the trip to accommodate the friend.
“Hi Ms. Smith, It’s so great that are sons are roommates as they really seem to like each other’s company. Your Aiden is such a polite boy, blah blah. Anyway, since they seem to have overlapping weekend schedules, I was wondering if we could coordinate for a carpool sometimes?”
Would’t hurt to ask. I’d probably phrase it something like, “We’ve been shuttling the kids (meaning yours and theirs) every weekend for a while. Do you think you’d be able to drive them sometimes?” If they agree, I’d pin them down to something specific on the spot as they might be giving you the “vague agreement now with no intention to follow through” treatment. Something like, “Great! Could you guys do the return trip on Sundays if we do the pickup on Fridays?”
Also, you could check to see if there’s a bus or train that your S could take instead. Doing a six hour roundtrip drive twice a week would wear me out. Or I guess you could also buy your S a used car so he can drive himself.
Thanks for the feedback, everyone. S gets a car for his sophomore year if he has a great freshman year, and so far, so good on that point!
Surprised that the kids want to come home every weekend. Do they spend any weekends on their campus?
Sounds like friend wouldn’t be coming home every weekend unless your son was. I don’t think I’d ask if they could do it on a regular basis, but if there is one Sunday when it would be especially helpful, I’d ask then. My daughter goes to school about 2 hours away and there are a lot of kids from this area there also, so we always see if she can catch a ride at lease half way (we live on the south side of a city, and her former roommate lives on the north side, a friend’s parents live in a city about an hour north; if she can get to there, it still saves me a couple hours each way). And yes, this puts her on their schedule and not hers.
My son has to come home for his Saturday activity, but on the rare occasion that he gets a weekend off, he’s happy to stay on campus. His roommate likes to come home to see his girlfriend.
For the last 6 years (3 undergrad, 3 PhD program), my D wants to come home (about 40 min. driving) every weekend, unless when there is specific reason to stay at school (meeting, conference, tutoring session, …).
The foods are much much better at home. 
I like the above advice on asking how to share the task, but I also want to add that you are an angel to drive the other student so often. As a parent juggling schedules for our three, I appreciate that you have included the roommate and provided him a way home. Wishing you great positive karma for the doing what you don’t have to do. <3
I think it’s reasonable to ask for gas money if the other family doesn’t share the driving. Extra weight in the car means you use more gas, even if it’s only a minute difference.
Yes, there are some cheap buses, especially if you book early like Bolt and Megabus. Depends on locations involved.
I would not ask because you are going back and forth anyway.
I would keep driving the friend without saying anything, but I would possibly bring him to my house and have him get a ride home, and I would not adjust my schedule to accommodate him. Given that you have to pick up your son regardless, I would not ask for money.
I would tell your son that if he ever finds himself in his roommates situation, he should offer gas money.
It’s possible that the roommate has issues at home and is not as fortunate as your son. Consider this to be a good deed for a good friend.
If your son has to come home for the activity, then I guess you need to drive him. It’s nice that you give the other boy a ride home.
Maybe his family can’t/won’t come get him, but you can definitely reach out and see if they are planning on picking him up sometime and ask.if your son could catch a ride with them then.
I like PetraMC’s nonaggressive, friendly way of asking in post 3. But if you are driving your son anyway, what does it matter? Unless your son feels he can’t speak openly with you because the roommate is there or otherwise is bothered by the arrangement, I wouldn’t worry.
I think the kid is clueless and should offer gas money. You are stuck driving whether the friend comes or not. I doubt the friend would come on his own if he didn’t have a ride. Maybe your son could mention that you are glad to give him a ride, but he should contribute $X toward gas–how much is seeing his girlfriend worth?? I doubt his parents would want to drive your kid home for his activity. Their kid is just tagging along and I’m pretty sure he’d be staying on campus if you weren’t going back and forth. (D got a ride home one Sunday with a high school friend who came to visit his parents. I gave the kid gas money- -though he was coming anyway, I appreciated seeing D and the kid definitely could use gas $. )
Your son’s friend’s parents should be offering you gas money if their kid doesn’t. Maybe they don’t want their kid coming home/don’t even see him because he is visiting his girlfriend, not them. They might not want to enable his visits-- maybe even wish you wouldn’t bring him home!
But the kid needs some manners–don’t mooch off of people. Pay your own way. One time, it’s a favor. Every weekend? You have a freeloader.
Do the parents know the kid is coming home every weekend? Maybe he’s in town but not at home.
“The foods are much much better at home”. Maybe, not make it too good. She may never want to leave!
To OP, Can your son find his activity at his college location? Or is there a college location in your hometown or closer than 3 hours that has his activity? Driving 3 hours and back twice most weekends sounds grueling. You and your husband are saints!