<p>I know very little about sororities, but saw a recent discussion here about them, and thought today’s New York Times article might make for an interesting discussion.</p>
<p>I think it is hopeful that it was alums, and NOT current students, who were behind the blocking of black pledges at the U of Alabama. In fact, the current sorority sisters were the ones that exposed the practice.</p>
<p>Shrinkrap, IME, rushing and pledging and joining are all about being “in” the group or “out” of the group. That’s not to say that sororities don’t do good works. But it seems to me that their fundamental raison d’etre is to let some people in while keeping other people out.</p>
<p>I went to a large state school where I knew exactly one person. Joining Greek life was a wonderful way to meet people. At my school I was still able to afford the extra expense with a part-time job and those women have stayed my lifelong friends, even after I transferred to a school with no Greek life on the other side of the country. My affiliation with my sorority was also a way to get interviews, make friends when moving and make connections. </p>
<p>I don’t recommend Greek life for everyone, but it helped me a great deal. I have done work with several chapters throughout the years (though I had NO influence in voting) and have worked with struggling houses and top-tier golden girls. In the end, they are filled with young women with all their insecurities, their joys, their failures and triumphs. Those that are involved can learn a great deal about responsibility, leadership, and getting along with people that you don’t love. </p>
<p>Unfortunately, my sorority was listed in the article. I am encouraging the alumnae in my chapter to write as well.</p>
<p>Why should a young woman rush? If you read one of my postings I said that today I spoke with my Big sister. This afternoon I went out to coffee with another sister. That is why you pledge.</p>
<p>When I got cancer sisters who I haven’t seen in years called. They came to our house and brought food and dvds. One of my sisters showed up in the chemo room with food and just to sit. Obviously we had friends that weren’t in my sorority come over. But there is something that connects us. Beyond that…meeting a husband or wife may sound silly but gotta say that was How I met My Husband.</p>
<p>VeryHappy, there may have only been a short Spring of equality back when, but rush when I was in school was more about “finding your tribe”. Kind of like high school…are you a band kid or a cross country kid or a debate kid?</p>
<p>No one doubts that sororities and frats can have lots of benefits … but how do you look at yourself in the mirror when your group refuses to let in black girls? I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t live with myself.</p>
<p>I believe that this issue at this school is such an issue because this bigotry has been dead and buried by most schools. In addition, membership selection is NOT open to outsiders until these women at this particular school knew that they had to do something. The truth here is that these women couldn’t live with themselves. They went against their school, their sorority to out this. And they risked loosing pretty much everything to do so. They seem to have the support of their sisters. And I guess that they can look themselves in the mirror because they did something.</p>
<p>I can look myself in the mirror just fine. Nationally my sorority has member of all races, religions, cultures and sexual orientations. They are full-pay and Pell-grant recipients. I don’t like the situation in Alabama, but I still hold to the values of my organization. </p>
<p>When I was in school there were not a lot of AA students that were going through recruitment. However I also went to a school with a strong NPHC organizations and most of my AA friends were aspirants for those organizations. The benefits of those organizations consistently involve a lifetime commitment.</p>
<p>No, I didn’t read any other sites on this subject.</p>
<p>But I do understand from women here whom I respect that sorority life was not this kind of thing for them.</p>
<p>I always had a very negative impression of the whole Greek scene, until I grew to know the guys at one house at MIT very well the year I graduated. They were nothing like the stereotype. (They are one of the most widely known organizations, due to their famous sweetheart song. ) I also observed that my son’s house at Dartmouth was nothing like the stereotype. At both schools, SOME houses seemed definitely closer to the negative image.</p>
<p>Really, attending a women’s college with a student body of–at the time–about 1400-1700 was somewhat akin to belonging to a sorority, so I can imagine the benefits.</p>
<p>But I’d still be happy to see them all abolished, everywhere.</p>
<p>Finding one’s tribe is fine, but when I was in HS, in college, and now, I have more than “one tribe.” I was the kid who was in the chorus but also on the literary magazine. My DH was one of the smartest kids in his HS but was also a jock – on the football, wrestling, lacrosse teams. One of my sons is best friends with a fellow who’s almost finished with his actuarial exams, and another who is a successful movie producer. </p>
<p>I used the term “fluid” before. What I mean is, we all have different types of people we associate with at different times, for different interests and different “parts” of ourselves. I don’t think one tribe does it. </p>
<p>And once one is in a particular tribe (sorority), you’re labeled for life, and you’re basically not allowed to be friends or even hang out with people in the other tribes.</p>
<p>It’s all too rigid – aka exclusionary – for me.</p>
<p>Veryhappy, that is not true at all. Yes there are rivalries among the house, but no one is “labeled and not allowed” to be friends with girls in other houses. Honestly this is such an absurd notion I’m not even sure how you came up with it.</p>
<p>Sorry, VeryHappy, you’re completely off base here.</p>
<p>I don’t know where you get the assumption that in joining a house, you are “not allowed” to be friends with girls from other houses. That’s about as silly as saying because you regularly go to dinner with the other girls on the dorm fourth floor, you’re not “allowed” to also go grab coffee with Debbie from chem class. My sorority sisters and I of course had friends in other houses. One of my best friends in the house lived with me one year, then moved off campus and lived with two other friends who weren’t in the system at all. Good grief, a few months ago I went to Princeton (for business purposes) and had lunch with two college friends of mine – all 3 of us were in different houses. It doesn’t matter. Of course you’ll wind up spending more time with the girls in your house simply because you’re in a common activity – but it’s just ludicrous to suggest that you’re no longer “allowed” to be friends elsewhere. Sorry, off base.</p>
<p>It is also equally off base to suggest that once you’ve found a “tribe” in a Greek house that precludes you from having other “tribes.” Surely you know enough about our shared alma mater to get that the girls in the houses there were active in all kinds of things – engineering societies, theater / dance / music groups, philanthropic events, student government, athletics and so forth. Who suggested that the Greek membership should fulfill all their needs? I was active in my house, but I was also active with a particular philanthropic group. My H was heavily involved with Waa-Mu. My S is heavily involved with student government and political affiliation groups. </p>
<p>Honestly, I don’t know how you could possibly conclude that Greek membership is supposed to serve as the only “tribe” a student can or should have, whether it’s about friendship or activities. That’s just not an accurate or fair reading, at least at our shared alma mater.</p>
<p>I have no pro or anti Greek sentiment. But in the interest of truth, I will say that many of my very good friends were Greek. I was a GDI, by choice, and I really never felt excluded or even like I was unwelcome either by girls in the Greek system, or at Greek parties. </p>
<p>It wasn’t for me, for a variety of reasons, but it never felt like the girls in the houses cared one way or another about any of that. Nor did I. </p>
<p>JMO</p>
<p>What is troublesome about this particular situation, to me, is we have young women who want to be inclusive, who represent what most of America thinks, which is that we want to be friends with people we like, regardless of race, and they are being prevented by older women who have failed to grow into mature leaders. </p>
<p>This is bad for everyone on that campus. It’s bad for the girls of all colors and it diminishes everyone to a time in the past where not one of those young women would even want to visit, let alone live. </p>
<p>If UA wants to be taken seriously, and their scholarship and academic recruitment says they do, they have to move the dinosaurs to the museum.</p>
) I also observed that my son’s house at Dartmouth was nothing like the stereotype. At both schools, SOME houses seemed definitely closer to the negative image.</p>