<p>^^^^I only find out that adult friends were in a sorority rarely, and not usually because the woman brings it up. </p>
<p>When D1 decided she wanted to go through rush, I attended an info meeting at her all girls school put on by mothers who had been in sororities. It was tremendously helpful. They passed out a list of current Moms at our school with their sorority affiliations noted so one could seek out LORs from them. I had really had NO idea that any of them had been in sororities, much less which ones. I’m not saying their sorority membership had no benefits in their post college lives, just that it wasn’t something that they advertised to others. </p>
<p>Of course, not having been in a sorority myself, maybe I just wasn’t recognizing the secret handshakes. ;)</p>
<p>Honestly Consolation - it’s exactly like that. You have something in common, “I knew I liked you.” I would urge my D to join a W alum group if she moved to a new city;same concept.</p>
<p>I’m sorry, but this whole “secret handshake” – you get ahead because of some group you belong to etc --thing is nauseating. So much for just being the better, most qualified, most hard-working candidate.</p>
[quote]
I’m sorry, but this whole “secret handshake” – you get ahead because of some group you belong to etc --thing is nauseating. So much for just being the better, most qualified, most hard-working candidate.</p>
<p>Yeah, but part of being the better, most qualified and hardworking candidate IS glad handing, in a lot of cases. </p>
<p>I mean on CC we spend a lot of time on academics and intellectual qualifications , but in life, in business, it’s not that way at all. Sometimes being the intellectual is a negative, just depends on the job.</p>
<p>But Aubs, if a friend recommends you or gives you the job, presumably they know your personal qualities, not just your affiliation. Jobs given purely according to your alma mater seem less probable–there doesn’t seem to be that obligation that Greek affiliation apparently carries. And would also be a poor reason with which to choose, anyway.</p>
<p>There is no rule that says because someone is in your fraternity you must give them a job. You just might think of them first for a recommendation, or give their application a second glance. If you’re in a position to hire someone and the ultimate reason why you piacked your new hire is because they were in your fraternity at xyz school 10 years before or after you, that is the personal decision of one lone individual. It’s not like part of initiation is pledging to choose your fellow alumni over all common sense or logic. </p>
<p>I think people take the fact that fraternities have a few secrets pertaining to their ritual and run with it, sometimes coming up with notions as far fetched as some sort of skull and bones Illuminati level ideas.</p>
<p>The whole “It’s not what you know, it’s who you know” thing would still be true whether or not there was a such a thing as a fraternity or sorority. Railing against it doesn’t accomplish a thing.</p>
<p>I say that as someone who was not in a sorority and knew no one. Fortunately, my grades and job and life experience got me my first job. Then, because I made a good impression on my coworkers and doctors I worked with, those “connections” helped me get other jobs, possibly in spite of the fact that I was no more qualified, but had good recommendations based on my former associations. Not quite the same thing, but in a tough job market, it ALWAYS helps to have an “in” in addition to qualifications.</p>
<p>Consolation nails it. She has a “sisterhood” with anyone she meets who went to Wellesley, or to a lesser extent another Seven Sister. That doesn’t mean she would hire them sight unseen or anything, but it’s a shared bond. It’s like the shared bond and extra look you might give someone from your hometown or your college. It’s no different conceptually so I’m not sure why people are acting as though it is.</p>
<p>“Jobs given purely according to your alma mater seem less probable–there doesn’t seem to be that obligation that Greek affiliation apparently carries. And would also be a poor reason with which to choose, anyway.”</p>
<p>Garland – there’s no “obligation”. It’s no different from the Michigan or Notre Dame or Wellesley alums giving a second look to people from their schools. It could be that way for any number of affiliations or clubs or interests.</p>