"Sorry, we can't afford that school now"

Parents Forum
101

<p>zooser..>>> Thanks JL50ish! There can sometimes be snarking about SEton Hall on here, but it seems a nice enough school with all the benefits you explained. Bryn Mawr is high on her list too (although we haven't visited) because they give IB diploma holders with certain scores sophomore status and they have a five-year master's in Classics. Plus right near the Philadelphia Museum of Art. </p>

<p>Me? I just want her to be happy and to not be broke. <<<</p>

<p>I'm sorry to hear about the "snarky" remarks that you have heard in the past. </p>

<p>I, too, got some of those snarky remarks when my son decided to go to The University of Alabama. It has turned out to be the best decision for him. It's a great school, it's not too far away (he can be home in 2 1/2 hours), he loves it, he loves his profs, he's learning a lot, the honors program is "expanding his horizons". </p>

<p>Having come from a smallish Catholic high school, we were happy to learn that our son's honors classes are limited to 15 students per class. So far, they have been an awesome experience. Of the many honors classes he's taken so far, the more unusual have been:</p>

<p>"Arts and Parody," which is taught by a fabulous English prof - the 15 students sit around a large conference table and look at and discuss examples of parody and the arts. My son wrote a fab paper comparing the drama movie "Zero Hour!" with its parody "Airplane". (We got to read it last weekend when he came home for "mini fall break.")</p>

<p>"Honors Behind the British Mask" a cool reading and discussion class about British Lit.</p>

<p>"Honors Culture and Human Experience" the students did extensive study about various cultures, but particularly focused on the regular people of Iraq and Iran - it was very enlightening about how loving and generous the regular Iraqis and Iranians are.</p>

<p>Anyway.... my point is that your dd needs to pick what is best for her (and your family's budget, of course!). There are a few on this board that think that only Ivies, UCBerkeley, ND, Georgetown, Stanford, Duke and a few top LAC are good enough. When, in reality, as long as you go to a school that has a good program in your chosen field, you can always be very successful.</p>

102

<p>DougBetsy,
The SAT 75th %tile at SMCM is 2000. If your S makes NMSF or is close, that may well put him in good stead for some merit $$. We've visited there too for S2. At his school, everyone over an 1800 in the past three years has been accepted.</p>

103

<p>To answer the OP's question--our approach has not changed. We never expected any need based aid and were very upfront with D about it. We've also explained the realities of two self-employed parents (fun things like paying for our health insurance, retirement, etc.). She is free to apply to whatever schools she chooses, but she understands that in the end it's going to come down to money. She knows there maybe less of it available from us next year. We've really, really emphasized to her how important it is to us that she graduate debt free. With only a couple of exceptions, we've focused our search on schools she should be eligible for merit money.</p>

104

<p>Believe me I get the remarks and looks of incredulity. My kid goes to a little school in Colorado that NO ONE here has ever heard of , it seems. I know it makes folks shake their heads. But he's happy there so far so....I'm happy too!</p>

105

<p>
[quote]
DougBetsy,
The SAT 75th %tile at SMCM is 2000. If your S makes NMSF or is close, that may well put him in good stead for some merit $$. We've visited there too for S2. At his school, everyone over an 1800 in the past three years has been accepted.

[/quote]
</p>

<p>Thanks, CountingDown. This is good info.</p>

106

<p>^^cptofthehouse, I thought we agreed we were going to keep the identity of the Colorado school a secret until my D2 gets in. In the west, we know and respect it, but want it to stay cloaked in mystery. Please stick with the plan. D2 is just a junior. :)</p>

107

<p>I have to laugh at the snarky remark... it is so true not just here on CC but also in real life. People judge success by where you go to college - and jump to value judgments when the normal path isn't being followed.</p>

<p>When I tell people that DS is at the local Junior college this year (he was top 10 in class, won a number of awards, and was admitted to many of the prestige schools), I get these stunned looks. One lady even asked "what went wrong?" The story is simple he had an injury and stayed home to complete physical therapy so that he can continue to follow his baseball dream - but I am tired of telling it as if going to a juco is a problem.</p>

<p>When my neighbor across the street tells people that her daughter isn't even going to college despite graduating from a top private academic high school in the area (one that has sent all of their graduates to 4 years schools for decades), people fall out of their chairs. (She is chasing her dream of becoming a ballerina - and is dancing professionally although being paid less than a living wage). Her mom has been asked "Is she in drug rehab?" and "Did she give up the baby?" No, I did not make that up - I think I would have flipped out on those two comments.</p>

<p>Bottom line - the top schools are not a fit for everyone's dream and/or life's circumstance. I am glad for both of these kids that they are continuing to chase their goals and dreams - even if it means a detour from the Ivy league road that many would have expected.</p>

108

<p>I agree that Elite schools are way overrated and going to them might mean no sense for certain professions at all. D. did not even apply, why to waste application fees? I wonder about Harvard and Prinston invitations to apply, are they sent to everybody who is graduating? We just laughed - who can pay for these? D. just pitched them.</p>

109

<p>Scualum, my older daughter is at home in a CUNY this semester due to health problems and I can tell you that one of the hardest things for her has been the unkind remarks from all and sundry. She didn't fail, she didn't screw up, she didn't drop out. She got sick.</p>

110

<p>ZM:</p>

<p>My son very much relates to that - he tore his ACL. Not his fault, not anyone's fault - he just had an accident and needs to heal. Fortunately all has gone well and about two weeks ago he was given his final release and is "all better". </p>

<p>College plans just took a little detour - and life just goes on. What is a little sad is that some colleges that he was already accepted to and were under serious consideration by him will not take him now as a "transfer" student. Joys of large universities and their inflexible policies. :(</p>

111

<p>Sorry, River, but with the way the economy is going, schools that cost in the $50K range may be sucking it down this year and not be over popular. Now I have a list of some low sticker price schools..........</p>

112

<p>cptofthehouse wrote:"Now I have a list of some low sticker price schools.........."</p>

<p>Hah!, me too. IIn California we have so many well priced options. Just in case DD <em>needs</em> distance, I've discovered two out of state Top 100 bargains in U of Minnesota, and the SUNY campuses, especially Stony Brook for sciences and Geneseo for a smaller liberal arts focus. And not so expensive U of Arizona Honors.</p>

113

<p>DunninLA,
lol. Clever move: point to Minnesota as the affordable OOS option for a SoCal kid. One look at those Minnesota winter temperature charts will have her looking closer to home.</p>

<p>Seriously, though, in these financially troubled times I do think Minnesota deserves a closer look by a lot of people. There's some real academic quality to be had at a bargain price for OOS students. And the winter's not as bad as people elsewhere think. As the locals like to say, "There's no such thing as bad weather, only bad clothing."</p>

114

<p>Virginia Tech is a great deal as is Mary Washington College. Some of the southern schools still are pretty good deals even for outer staters and the weather would not be such a shock.</p>

115

<p>My best advice is to apply to all the schools that interests the child and matriculate to the school with the best financial aid. You will be amazed how sometimes the private school is cheaper overall than the public school because of a more generous financial aid package.</p>

116

<p>


</p>

<p>The key word here is "sometimes." It depends on family financial circumstances, the school's costs and FA policies, and the individual FA package the school draws up, including whether the FA package meets full demonstrated need, and what proportion of the award is grants/scholarships and what proportion is essentially self-help, i.e., loans and work-study. At a few schools this is fairly predictable, at most not at all.</p>

117

<p>
[quote]
and the SUNY campuses, especially Stony Brook for sciences and Geneseo for a smaller liberal arts focus.

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</p>

<p>i think the SUNY's are an absolutely incredible bargain - both for NY'ers and OOS. BUT -- i would just caution some care in choosing -- they are very diverse in terms of types of environments. geneseo is truly a wonderful liberal arts school -- but just be aware -- as it is, kids from NYC sometimes find serious culture shock going there -- and I see you are from LA. its rural. its hilly. its cold and snowy in winter. you can drive thru the town in a blink of an eye. so any OOS should just be aware of what it is like -- if it fits what you are looking for, it can be a real bargain!</p>

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<p>unbelieve: >>> i think the SUNY's are an absolutely incredible bargain - both for NY'ers and OOS. BUT -- i would just caution some care in choosing -- they are very diverse in terms of types of environments. geneseo is truly a wonderful liberal arts school -- but just be aware -- as it is, kids from NYC sometimes find serious culture shock going there -- and I see you are from LA. its rural. its hilly. its cold and snowy in winter. you can drive thru the town in a blink of an eye. so any OOS should just be aware of what it is like -- if it fits what you are looking for, it can be a real bargain! <<<</p>

<p>All prospective students REALLY need to HONESTLY consider the weather of any schools on their lists. I ran into one of my son's classmates over the summer (we live in the south). He accepted a full tuition scholarship to Fordham in NY. The kid HATED the weather - it was just too much of a change for him. He gave up his scholarship (much to his parents' disappointment) and now he's at Emory and they have to pay full-freight.</p>

<p>My own son was offered the same scholarship, but we took him up to NYC in the dead of winter during his senior year and that was a "real education" about the weather for him. LOL (My son lived in Southern California for 10 years, and then we moved to the south, so he's only known "mild winters." Snow can be a fun "novelty," but it and very cold weather can get to be "too much" for a someone who is not used to it.</p>

119

<p>S1 made his first visit to UChicago in a January snowstorm. Called me from the quad and said, "I could spend four years here." Guess where he is today...though he has asked for warm, waterproof boots to take back after Thanksgiving.</p>

120

<p>Hi all! Concerning St. Mary's College in Maryland. Just got back from DD having an overnight visit. I made a list of shopping/restaurants/banks, etc., nearby. I put the list on the St. Mary's thread under the "Colleges" section. I hope it helps. By the way, she loved it and will be applying there. It is so peaceful.</p>