Sticking to the budget, for those who need budgets

Parents Forum
1

<p>Those of you who have set down an amount you can spend on school, what do you seriously do when your child has not kept within those amounts? </p>

<p>I am getting worried because my child (not the one already in college, but the next one) has not been running NPC or anything. I have actually gone through them on the schools she is applying to. But her list of schools is very small and she is not exactly picking any sort of financial safeties. It is still possible that the schools she has picked will work out. But it is the sort of thing where she will need to rely on merit scholarships, which she might not get. </p>

<p>I would really hate to have to tell her she just cannot go. To top it off, she will have enough AP credits that community college would pretty much be impractical. She could go to the local state university and live at home and be within our means. Anything beyond that, she was supposed to figure out financially. She works hard in the academic department, but not so much in the practical area. And I hate to say this, I just cannot see her living at home another year.</p>

2

<p>With all due respect, why would you expect a 17/18 year old to figure out what is affordable or not. At that age, a lot of them have only figured out how long it would take for them to save up for that fabulous sweater/dress. I would sit down with her, go through her list of schools and work through the numbers with her. Show her how some schools could be affordable and others couldn’t. I would be very explicit with her about what would be her options if she couldn’t get into a school which is affordable. The worst thing would be if she is led to believe some how you could make it happen. It could be a teaching moment.</p>

3

<p>Oldfort is right. You need to be explicit with her and make sure she has financial safeties on her list.</p>

<p>You can’t afford for her to dorm at your state Us?</p>

<p>And how is “she suppose to make it work out”? There is a limit to how much she can borrow herself. Are you willing to cosign?</p>

4

<p>I did not expect her to come up with numbers. I actually told her what we could afford. I sat down and did some of the net price calculators and printed them off and gave them to her. She just seems to think she will get the merit scholarships at the schools that don’t meet need so she does not need other schools, such as ones we can afford, or ones that meet need.</p>

5

<p>When kids won’t pick out financial safeties, when they could be needed, then it’s up to the parents to pick a few out, and insist that apps be sent in. You can say that those are “parent picks”…and they won’t be necessary if one of the others works out.</p>

<p>She just seems to think she will get the merit scholarships at the schools that don’t meet need so she does not need other schools, such as ones we can afford, or ones that meet need.</p>

<p>Well…she can “think” anything she wants. Thinking doesn’t make it true. If it does happen, then great. </p>

<p>If she refuses to apply to any financial safeties, then let her know now that you will not pay $1 more than X, and that she’ll end up at CC if nothing fits the budget.</p>

<p>BTW…some schools are quite easy to apply to…she could do the app with little to no effort.</p>

6

<p>What about coming up with a strategy of applying to some of those merit schools early to see how much money she could get then go for plan B or C if merit aid should not come through?</p>

7

<p>I will absolutely not cosign for loans. I saved enough to pay her way at state university. And actually, that amount is higher than our EFC based on our older child.</p>

<p>I know some people here are wealthy and can just throw money at any school their child wants to go to. But that is not us. That is why this post was addressed to “for those who need budgets.” I am always shocked at the parents who should have budgets, then go around and cosign loans they cannot afford to fulfill every whim of their children. We have a budget. We are not going to be one of the families expecting a bailout in 20 yrs or whining in the news about how we cannot afford to pay all the debt our kids left us.</p>

8

<p>I think I will go with the “parent schools” idea. I see schools that guarantee merit aid with certain scores or meet need and can just have her submit her app to those and just tell her they are back ups. I seem to recall someone here telling their child they can afford UTD, so, the child will go to UTD unless the child comes up with a way to pay for others. And in the end, that child did come up with a way.</p>

9

<p>I’d probably insist she apply to a financial safety or two and tell her “better safe than sorry.”</p>

10

<p>We told my kids what we can comfortably spend without taking out loans. They can apply to in-state schools ( affordable for us without loans) and OOS/ privates that give merit aid. If the price comes down to one that we can afford without taking out loans ( this number was discussed) then that school becomes an option for them. My high school junior will not be applying to any schools that do not give merit aid, except for our state schools. She knows this and there are no surprises. We have done a tremendous amount of research crafting a list. We will visit the schools, she will apply to the ones that she likes, and then wait for the acceptances and offers to come in. If the school is affordable it will remain an option, and if not we will say goodbye to it. We did this with my older one and she is attending a school that she loves at a price that we can afford. With both of my kids requiring graduate school we have to be very careful with what we spend on their undergraduate education.</p>

<p>Are you at all involved in the selection process or are you allowing your child to pick the schools to apply to? I am wondering if you need to be more involved in the selection process so that the list has some financial safeties. Maybe you can create a reasonable list together.</p>

11

<p>Lmkh70, you need to just set a budget for your daughter. Then sit WITH her and run the Net Price Calculators for each school using your best numbers (not sure my kids could have done these without our input). See what happens. Write down each and every estimate. </p>

<p>Then firmly state that your daughter can apply to schools but if your net price after any aid she receives does NOT meet your price point, she cannot attend because you can’t pay. Stand firm on this. </p>

<p>Then insist that she apply to two affordable schools that she would like to attend. If she says there ate none, then insist that she apply to two instate affordable schools. </p>

<p>Then wait for the results. Maybe she will get aid, and maybe she won’t. </p>

<p>If she only applies to schools that are unaffordable, she simply will not be able to attend. Tell her that her registration WILL be canceled if her bills are not paid.</p>

<p>Why are you reluctant to tell her she can’t attend a school you can’t afford?</p>

12

<p>It’s up to you, the parent, to enforce budgetary restrictions. You will need to fill out the NPCs and tell your child what you can and can’t pay for. We made our D apply to an academic and financial safety, in our case the state flagship. You, the parent, are in the driver’s seat here.</p>

<p>Be strong. In the long run you would do your D no favors by allowing her (or yourselves) to take on too much debt.</p>

13

<p>“I would really hate to have to tell her she just cannot go.”</p>

<p>This is the problem. Be firm. You’re being wishy-washy, which leads her to believe maybe you really can afford these schools. You must be honest with her. Leading her on is doing her no favors.</p>

<p>I suppose you could not pay for the apps of more than X schools and then only pay for any above that number if it has a corresponding financial/academic safety.</p>

14

<p>I think you are expecting more than even a financially sophisticated teenager can pull off.</p>

<p>Yes, we had budgets. We did not tell the kids, " we ran the numbers, here’s where they shake out, go figure out an application strategy that makes sense". We encouraged the kids to come up with a broad list of schools that met their academic needs and social preferences, in the “right” location (one needed urban, one didn’t care, etc.) We then helped them evaluate each school- what would the likely net cost be, would it be “worth” the family contribution, what “sweat equity” would be involved by the kid in order to make it happen (travel expenses for the far away schools, etc) and then assessed the likelihood of admissions.</p>

<p>That cut the lists to a manageable number. There were schools the kids were interested in which after evaluating “worth”, they cut willingly. (Why fly 3,000 miles to attend a college which wasn’t as good a fit academically as one 125 miles away, or one accessible by public transportation). There were schools the kids cut reluctantly (they agreed that the overall experience might not be “worth it” but there was an intangible that attracted them).</p>

<p>But we did not need to do any cutting ourselves- it was a collaborative effort where we collectively figured out what each kid needed and wanted in a college education.</p>

<p>I don’t know any kid who can stare at the Fiske guide of 3,000’s of schools, take the general parental guideline “here’s our budget” and figure out which 6 or 8 schools go on the list, and which do not. And truth be told, there are schools which are technically affordable (as in, they come in under your budget)which are not a good educational “value” in the sense that your kid needs to spend four years living there and hopefully emerge with a solid college education. In many instances, kids need a parents perspective to see that even if something is affordable monetarily, the opportunity cost of spending your college years in a place that isn’t a good fit, more than outweighs the “savings”.</p>

<p>That’s where you come in.</p>

<p>We know kids who end up at our local state college (not the flagship; you can live at home and take the bus) which has very narrow majors available. Every year we know kids who end up there who shouldn’t be there… a kid who is a strong engineering candidate (this branch of the state college does not have an engineering school) but who ended up with a bunch of unaffordable acceptances. The kid who has mastered five languages by the end of HS and wants to major in linguistics and computer science (this school has neither… they do have a two year programming sequence, which the strong CS type student has already self-taught him or herself.) Etc.</p>

<p>Don’t let this be your kid. If the local option is an appropriate academic option, and affordable, it belongs on the list. If it doesn’t have any of the programs or departments that your kid wants to study, than even if it’s affordable, take it off the list. You’re not saving any money if your kid needs to transfer after two years because she’s exhausted the courses that she wants to take.</p>

<p>If you post your D’s stats and what her interests are and some general financial constraints, I bet the wisdom of this crowd could add a few affordable options to your D’s list.</p>

15

<p>D has made a list of potential schools from Fiske. I had a list of potential from CTCL (there was quite a bit of overlap). I entered all the schools into a spreadsheet and then ran the NPC for them. The financial safety was highlighted in green. The very affordable ones remained white (unhighlighted). The yes we can afford but it’s a bit high I highlighted in pink. The unaffordable were highlighted in red. </p>

<p>D can apply to any or all schools from the white section and of course the safety green, maybe one or two from the pink and none from the red section. We told her up front what we can afford and this is how it translates to the list of potential colleges. This cut the list in half, which was good because there were a lot of schools.</p>

16

<p>“Anything beyond that, she was supposed to figure out financially. She works hard in the academic department, but not so much in the practical area.”</p>

<p>I think that instead of taking a hands-off attitude about her lack of practical skills, you need to spend some time teaching her these kinds of things. It won’t sink in on the first round, or the second, or even the third. However, eventually it will.</p>

<p>Instead of handing her print-outs of the numbers, you should have her type the numbers into the NPCs with you at her side holding your bank statements and tax returns. Require her to run the NPC at the website of at least four of the colleges on her list (the cheap home-state U and others that you know are likely to give a wide spread in results). With that information, ask her to create a spreadsheet for the tuition, fees, room, board, estimated transportation cost, and estimate of books, personal expenses, etc. that those institutions include in their Cost of Attendance, and a final column for the Net Cost from the website. This will be enough to help her really see how variable the predictions, and the estimates are, and will help her comprehend her options better. If you are really lucky, she’ll be inspired to run the rest of the NPCs. If not, at least she won’t be able to claim that you never discussed this with her come April.</p>

<p>Full disclosure: Happykid is a design student who wasn’t remotely interested in crunching the numbers herself or making the spreadsheets. However she was perfectly happy to look over my shoulder at the numbers and say, “Drop that one, it is stupid expensive.” and “Well that would be OK, but I really like the other better and, look Mom, it is cheaper!”</p>