Sound advice needed, greatly appreciated

<p>Is your friend an URM also? That would be a hook that would help a fair amount, though I’m not sure how much weight to place on that. </p>

<p>Community college is not the right answer. I didn’t think anybody suggested that, but for a NYC kid, it’s a non-starter. There are decent public 4-year schools in NYC and NYS that are very affordable for that 7th school. </p>

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That’s what I assumed but it still must be hard for you to tell her that the list is not realistic given the situation. I think you’re in a tough spot. </p>

<p>Can you get your friend on here, so that she can post D’s stats and people here, including yourself, can start to help craft a viable balanced list? Does she have access to Naviance?</p>

<p>Reading your follow up posts, if I were you I would “back away slowly”. From what you are saying her D is not likely to get into any of her reaches, and because your D did very well, there could be some jealousy & competitiveness on the mom’s part. The mom does not want to follow the reasonable advice you have already given – you may have to let them go ahead. As long as she has 4 year colleges she is likely to get into – Trinity, maybe Vassar, and possibly in-state publics(?) on her list, you can’t do much more.</p>

<p>I would show her how to us CC, and see if she can learn to use this tool to get advice from others, not just you. I’m afraid there will be a lot of disappointment for this family. You might suggest this for them to look at. Google in quotes “name of school” “common data set” 2013 … I don’t think 2014 will be available yet. They can look at each school and see what the stats for the admitted school are - upper 25%, lower 25% …etc. Might help them get a reality check. This is what naviance provides but can also be done without it. You are nice to try to help.</p>

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<p>Well, I’ll go out on a limb and predict that if Sally ends up not being accepted to any highly selective schools, you’ll start hearing from her “Obviously, the way to get into an Ivy is to go to [Lucy’s inferior school] where you can get all A’s and you won’t have to compete against all the kids from [Sally’s school].” </p>

<p>It sounds like the possibility that Lucy might just be a more mature, more desirable candidate for a college than Sally has never crossed her mind.</p>

<p>I feel for poor Sally. I hope her mom lets up with the pressure and realizes that, as billcsho says, pushing your kid into something they’re not ready to handle is no way to succeed.</p>

<p>@ClassicRockerDad‌,</p>

<p>Yes, she is URM. Her mom has her ug degree. When I say low income, she makes mid 60s. Far more than most people make. But still low for NYC. </p>

<p>She has even expressed to her mom that she is feeling an excessive amount of pressure. </p>

<p>@billscho not sure about her math sequence. I’m sure she took it when she was supposed to? Mom told me they were doing stoichemetry(chemistry) in the 5th or 5th grade…so very advanced! </p>

<p>Yes! I thought about that same thing…she will say thAT Lucy got in by taking “easy” classes. When in fact, Lucy doubled up on math, science, and languages for 3 years. She even took a college course in her junior year so that gave her 3 sciences. She worked a part time job, was a literacy volunyeer , an aquarium docent and was a teachers aide at a STEM after school program at the local museum. So Lucy had a full academic as well as EC plate. </p>

<p>I feel you all are right. I must step away because she has grown more and more frustrated with the process. She even had a tough time understanding my busy schedule the week leading up to dds moving into Yale. Talk about CRAZY! It was nonstop and I could feel her displeasure with me…</p>

<p>It sounds to me that you need relationship advice more than admissions advice :-).</p>

<p>B-) </p>