<p>Looking over and reading everything on the St Olaf site, it looks perfect to me. I think I would love Carleton too. I did go back and looked at TAMU and really ended up liking it and am already an automatic admit. I know I would get in to St Olaf and think I would get in to Carleton. But, St Olaf and Carleton seem like a way better fit for me than TAMU. But I still like TAMU.</p>
<p>Problem is, and I have not mentioned this before, I have a mood disorder. And when I get in to one of those "moods" it is hard to pull myself out of it. So, I think it would be good to be close to home where I could go if things get too hard emotionally. Or just have an out when I am too stressed.</p>
<p>And, a relative (who I have mentioned before, in case this sounds familiar) who hates my parents, lives very close to St Olaf and Carleton and is very involved with one of the schools. She is a very involved alumni. She is very eager for me to go to college there. And she is mean. She is wonderful to me and my siblings. Then, she is cruel and angry to my mom. I realize now that her actions with me and my brother have been emotionally abusive. She will say stuff to me like "I am the only one who really loves you" and "if your mom cared at all about you, she would buy you ____" and "I am only telling you this because I care about you." Maybe, under normal circumstances, someone could just say they will have no communication with this toxic person and keep up the boundaries. But I am awful with boundaries when I am having trouble. This relative tried to get me to run away from home. This is nothing I would ever do, and I do not have any trouble at home, but she had me convinced that everything my parents do, from having another child, to not buying me a new car for my 16th birthday, was abuse. And I became convinced that my parents were abusing me and I hated them. I ended up discussing it with a counselor and we concluded part of putting up boundaries is not putting myself in positions where I cannot handle it. Honestly, I cannot handle being around this relative. She is like a drug. She is quite well off and "cool" and has an active career and travels all over the world. It seems so exciting and fascinating to be around her. But then, after she sucks you in, she acts all concerned about you and says the horrible things she says. And stupidly, I let myself get sucked in.</p>
<p>I am unsure of other schools that are similar to St Olaf and/or Carleton worth looking at, but not in that area. I love my music, and while I am not planning to major in it, I would still like to have some good quality outlet. I am a violist, so TAMU does not have much to offer for someone in strings. Other than that, I liked TAMU. I plan to apply to Rice, but of course, that is a bit of a reach.</p>
<p>Please do not slam me for coming out and admitting that I have a mood disorder. And if you think a mood disorder is to simple that I can just shut it off and be fine, then please don't bother to answer this question. I just cannot turn it off. But what would you do in my situation? Thank you.</p>