<p>P43531 - just curious if you’ve had high school kids yet? Our local schools have much worse problems. Teens are not perfect. Heck, who is? Many of us stumble in life, not all of us are caught. How many adults can truly say they didn’t do something they shouldn’t have in their teens? Doesn’t make us or kids who slip up today bad people. We live and learn from our mistakes.</p>
<p>To p43531</p>
<p>I know, quite personally, most of the kids involved and probably as much about the situation as anybody on this forum and I strongly believe that you do not have the right to judge those students. Here at St. Paul’s they teach us that we are not defined entirely by our mistakes, but are instead defined more significantly by the way we handle the consequences. I have personally seen each and every one of those involved deal with the consequences as gracefully as any teenager can reasonably be asked to. Furthermore I think that one does not necessarily end up “so badly” if he or she is on mild drugs or even in some cases hard drugs. This is obviously not to say that I approve of the behavior (I certainly don’t. I have never and don’t ever plan on doing drugs) but I’ve had some pretty up close experience with people that do and have seen a fare share go through the phase and subsequently go on to be successful and apparently quite happy. Even the kids involved held an array of high accolades/accomplishments. As far as the good kids, who make up a higher percentage of the school than you will find in nearly any other school in the US (I attended public high school for 3 years) having to attend extra “assemblies” or “meetings” that you seem to know so much about. Well its simply not true. The issue had been addressed during chapel when we would otherwise be listening to the daily announcements (which happen to be sent out in emails anyway). I agree however that it was unsavory. That being said I think its important. If these issues aren’t addressed we tend to become ignorant of the fact that they exist (even at a school such as SPS) and are perhaps more prevalent than we would like to think. We become naive and the naive one day end up being “astonished” by reality.</p>
<p>Why can’t they be like we were, perfect in every way? What’s the matter with kids today?</p>
<p>Sarum’s got it right (with her tongue in her cheek). Read the David Brooks Op Ed that Bill Matthews referred to. In part, it reminds us that we learn from our mistakes and failings. It says “Civility is a tree with deep roots, and without the roots, it can’t last. So what are those roots? They are failure, sin, weakness and ignorance.”</p>
<p>Years ago we used to discuss Hubris. Okay so it was discussed by ancient Greek philosophers, but also by SPS 40 years ago. As teens we made mistakes (I Definately did!) and as teens our children will also. As Laxislife says, how we handle the consequences matters. Communication, honesty, concern for others, and an honest self-appraisal are possible places to start a dialog. Mistakes (personal and observed) are opportunities to learn and can form deep roots for a strong tree. Grow Strong.</p>
<p>Learning from mistakes is such an old idea that can be found in dinosaur diaries. Get over it. Just say no! It’s pathetic that grown ups would say, I did it so can you. Why are you guys so defensive and come up with excuses? You can’t always learn from your mistakes. If one dies from drugs or an alcohol related accident (let alone killing others), there ain’t nuthin one is going to learn from it.</p>
<p>The Rector’s approach and views are valid. Please do not post insults or name calling on this thread. Not now. Not ever. We should encourage discussion not silence or insult it. </p>
<p>Multi multa, non omnia novit</p>
<p>What insults? What name calling? Am I missing something? Do you see something that I don’t? CC is a discussion forum, not a platform for preaching.</p>
<p>
^I wish more people thought this way.</p>
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</p>
<p>You have hurled some harsh words. But yes, everyone who [allows their children to be borrowed for those three or four years] has that right. Oh, yes, they do. Especially when it is the not-insignificant contributions by the likes of us that make your paradise a reality, and when such acts interfere with the community’s *raison d’</p>
<p>@Winterset: Thank you for posting Mr. Matthews’ talk. Every high school should have leaders brave enough to speak honestly with parents. He sets a high bar for his successor.</p>
<p>I watched this discussion unfold via mobile platform yesterday and didn’t really have anything to add.</p>
<p>Some late night/early morning posts changed that…</p>
<p>Last night, I watched our Upper School’s production of “Bye Bye Birdie” with my daughters. And I was struck by how little has changed in the world of teens/parents. Substitute Justin Bieber for the Conrad Birdie character (himself an Elvis doppelganger) and it’s 2011, not 1960. For those not familiar with the muscial, Sarum’s post are lyrics from a song…sung by the parents of one of the primary teen characters.</p>
<p>Plus </p>
<p>Well said!</p>
<p>[Harvard</a> profs busted for Weare teen party](<a href=“http://www.theunionleader.com/article.aspx?headline=Harvard+profs+busted+for+Weare+teen+party&articleId=e66df6dd-9b41-4989-b913-4660f1b45dd4]Harvard”>http://www.theunionleader.com/article.aspx?headline=Harvard+profs+busted+for+Weare+teen+party&articleId=e66df6dd-9b41-4989-b913-4660f1b45dd4)</p>
<p>Any one know any similar problems at SPS?</p>
<p>p43531 -</p>
<p>You’re missing the point. I’m not saying anybody should do drugs in the first place. Is it a shame that this had to happen? Of course. Is it disrespectful to all those who made it possible for the kids to be there? Obviously. But is it valid to evaluate the students as having “end[ed] up so badly” without even knowing who they are? I think not.</p>
<p>pulsar, you have changed this thread (thanks for the link anyway - didn’t know about it). It’ll never be the same. How could you…</p>
<p>Wow, hope my parents never get a chance to read here. I doubt they want to spend their money on me for this. 70 students, that is half of all graduating class arrested. Awesome</p>
<p>But they are in the company of Harvard Profs, no less.</p>
<p>This is an interesting watch if you have a few minutes. Brazilian film about today’s global youth and how they came to be. I have a stake in this new generation as you all do.</p>
<p>[We</a> All Want to Be Young on Vimeo](<a href=“http://vimeo.com/16638983]We”>We All Want to Be Young on Vimeo)</p>
<p>I guess I’m having difficulty with the approach of “forget the drug use, it’s no longer important; the only thing that is important is the grace and dignity with which you handle the consequences.” </p>
<p>C’mon now. Sure kids will be kids and there likely will be some amount of experimentation, but regular daily use of any drug and worse, selling and distributing is criminal behavior.</p>
<p>Like others who have posted, I guess I am surpirsed at the extent of the drug abuse found and cited recently at St. Paul’s and Andover. Presumably, these are kids who are hand picked for these academically rigorous BSs because they have demonstrated some sound character in addition to scholastic and athletic prowess.</p>
<p>I don’t want to focus on just how well someone handles getting caught…I want to go back and focus on the mistake. Sure, learn by your mistakes, make amends to those you have hurt, but for goodness sake, let’s not sweep what preceded it under the rug. Let’s try to understand better how and why it happened?</p>
<p>scholwannbe =
I guess that is the point some of us are trying to make. I don’t think anyone is saying “forget the drug use”. I think what we are saying is that it is naive to think that at Andover, Exeter, SPs or ANY SCHOOL you will have 100% of the kids decide to stay sober every day for 4 years. A certain, thankfully far less than the majority, of students will not and that is ideal. But some will. By creating a dialogue between the administration and the students, between the administration and parents, and between the parents and kids you help address the issue and the hows and whys. It’s the opposite of sweeping it under the rug. </p>
<p>In an ideal situation, alcohol and drugs wouldn’t surface at all. The reality is different - always has been and always will be. People with good character and highly capable minds are fallible.</p>
<p>Honestly, this subject should be its own thread as it pertains to every school under consideration on this message board.</p>