<p>Congratulations to all the students and parents of students whom have been accepted for the 2012-2013 school year! I am a current IV Form student and will be a host during re-visits in the spring. Please feel free, both students and parents, to contact me if you have any questions or concerns about SPS. I will try to respond to them as soon as I can. Once again, congrats!</p>
<p>Can you tell me about the general culture/mood of the student body? We absolutely loved St. Paulâs, and are so thrilled our son was just accepted for next yearâs Third Form. Just surfed the school website and listened to a bunch of seniorsâ âChapel Talks.â So many were about the heavy workload, stressful environment, competition with peers, the tough adjustment from being a âbig fish in a small pondâ to being ordinary, the sense of inadequacy, etc. I know some of this will happen, but there were so many of these talks that sounded sooo serious. </p>
<p>Just want to know that this isnât a total grind and ego-breaker. We are hopeful that he will be challenged and stimulated, but that heâll also have fun along the way and enjoy the journey.</p>
<p>He was also accepted to Hotchkiss and Groton⊠in case youâre able to compare. Waiting to hear from Deerfield. Thanks for any input!!</p>
<p>indyMom: I typed a long answer earlier but waited too long to hit send and it disappeared. I was waiting and hoping a current student or parent would jump in, but if not I will try to redo my earlier answer tomorrow (too late here). Feel free to send me a PM. Bottom line, donât worry. Suspect son would love SPS. H, G, D along with A and E are all good. I know them all well. But⊠SPS has a quite special atmosphere. </p>
<p>Or as my son (grad '10) said this winter âcollege is not worth what we are paying, but we could not afford what St. Paulâs was worthâ. Briefly but well said.</p>
<p>Kipp, Creative, Sarum, gr8, others?? Or wait and I will answer.</p>
<p>If you are deeply interested in St. Paulâs, you might find and purchase this research book (200+ pages) on Proquest:</p>
<p>Title: THE PRODUCTION OF PRIVILEGE
Author: Khan, Shamus Rahman</p>
<p>If you are REALLY interested in books by and about St. Paulâs go here and press âPreviewâ then page through lots of interesting summaries that cover Everything from Black Ice, to Piano Teacher, to the International Poker championships, to Twelve OâClock High, to Goodnight Moon: [DailyLit:</a> St. Paulâs School Books, book by Tom Owen](<a href=âhttp://www.dailylit.com/books/st-pauls-school-books]DailyLit:â>http://www.dailylit.com/books/st-pauls-school-books). </p>
<p>This is only a partial list, I can provide more for those with a real scholarly interst. I found Black Ice better written and a more accurate depiction than Khanâs book, but both were controversial and describe an earlier era (not quite as early as John Jacob Astor!!) but not close to SPS today.</p>
<p>IndyMom: I am glad you viewed the Chapel Talks. Trust me not all of them are serious! These talks can be a very productive way for students to express their concerns to their fellow students, faculty and administration. It is their pulpit. Not surprisingly the topics you heard are themes for many teenagers. I know the subjects of workload, stress and scheduling have been seriously addressed by the Trustees, the Administration, the faculty and the students. The academic schedule is being reexamined. In the winter classes start a bit later (recognizing teenagers biological clocks). A great deal of time is spent trying to find ways to reduce and manage the stress.</p>
<p>At any of the great boarding schools you have a collection of talented, motivated (and often competitive students). Trying to focus them in a positive supportive way requires constant effort. If you ask recent graduates they will tell you it was not âa total grindâ. I will tell you that it is definitively and unequivocally NOT and âego-breakerâ. I have gotten to know many of them. They have stayed at our house. Maybe they were admitted as self-assured, supremely confident, and caring students OR MAYBE SPS shaped them. But I have seen very few with broken egos. Students are not admitted unless they have the ability to succeed. You son will be fine, but I worried about the same issue 6 years ago. </p>
<p>Your son will be challenged and stimulated, but I cannot imagine he will not also have fun, lots of fun. </p>
<p>H, G, D are ALL good schools. There are differences and I will be happy to give my biased views if you PM me. Each school may be the best school for a particular student. Having said that, my brother went to E, I have 2 nephews at A, 2 friendsâ children at G, and know numerous graduates of D. <hope i="" lost="" no="" one="" with="" all="" those="" initials=""></hope></p>
<p>Other thoughts?</p>
<p>Hello, my son got accepted as a IV former (soph) and he is very excited. i am worried about him as far as socially acclimating himself at SPS. he is very outgoing and athletic, but am concerned about making friends and not being âaloneâ and or lost at the outset of school. Any input?</p>
<p>Thanks, Winterset. I sent you a PM, but donât know if it went through⊠Please let me know, and I will re-send. I really appreciate all input right now. </p>
<p>We have a good local day school option, but worry that living in the heartland wonât expose him to the cultural diversity, breadth of curriculum, challenging/motivated peers, and great teachers that he will find at any of these boarding schools. Our son has always succeeded academically with little to no effort, and I am painfully close (understatement?) to being a âhelicopter mom.â We know in our hearts that he would thrive if he can get me out of the way, and if he gets a chance to take it up a notch. He has been away from home a LOT (French exchange program, 5 wk summer session at Exeter, 3 wk camp sessions every summer, etc) and he never, ever gets homesick. Loves meeting people from all over the world, etc. </p>
<pre><code> We are leaning toward SPS and Groton - can only attend 2 re-visit days. His current school is an Episcopal day school, so the rhythms and soulfulness of those two really appealed. Hotchkiss is hard to let go, but we all think we felt the New York influence, the concern about his wanting to play soccer (we think they recruit really strong players and PGâs from places like Ghana), the over-emphasis on environmental intiatives/farming (not interesting to him), and the less soulful/spiritual approach there. Does that sound right? Between SPS and Groton, seems like mainly a scope and size difference, and maybe Groton seems more like a high school where SPS is like a small college. Love the small, intimate size of G, but might he out-grow it by Form VI? Then again, how much âfreedomâ is there at SPS? Seems like my friends from college who attended SPS all took a gap year to do something worldly/expensive/sophisticated. Were they burned out? I guess we just want to know that in addition to the challenge, it is fun (like summer camp with work) and nurturing. Also, he is not artsy and SPS seems to emphasize the artsâŠ
Thoughts? Thank you SO much!!
</code></pre>
<p>jrljr2: My son is a III former and going to be IV former next year at SPS. He is also athletic and outgoing. SPS provides a very supportive environment to the students, so you donât need to worry about that your son being âaloneâ. He will find his buddies in dorms or sports teams. Students are challenged enough, but to the level that the accepted students can handle. The first 3-5 month seems a little difficult to the new comers, especially who donât live in that area. My S is happy to guide your son in the revisit. So, if you need anything, donât hesitate to PM me.</p>
<p>I wouldnât worry too much about your son acclimating. My son is a current 3rd Former and has had an amazing experience. When I asked him about the rumored âsink or swimâ environment, he completely dismissed it. He tells us that all of the kids, including upper formers, are extremely supportive.
In addition, athletes have great opportunities to meet many kids from other forms and other dorms.
All in all, itâs been an excellent experience.
If your son wants someone to show him the ropes upon arrival, just message me and we can set something up.</p>
<p>Does St. Paulâs use their waitlist often? I was waitlisted for V Form</p>
<p>âCongratulations to all the students and parents of students whom have been accepted for the 2012-2013 school year! I am a current IV Form student and will be a host during re-visits in the spring. Please feel free, both students and parents, to contact me if you have any questions or concerns about SPS.â</p>
<p>So, my child was accepted to 3rd form, really likes the school, eager for the revisit. In part, her attraction to SPS was based on her very positive meetings with Mr. Torney (head of art program) and Mr. Seaton (head of music program) when we went for the interviews. We just read elsewhere on this thread that Mr. Torney recently left/was let go (canât tell), and just heard from a current SPSâer that Mr. Seaton will be retiring at the end of this school year. My child is serious in both visual arts and music, but is now concerned that going to SPS will be dicey becasue she does not know who will be heading these programs and - most importantly - what will become of them.
Can you shed any light on this?</p>
<p>@indymom</p>
<pre><code> Iâm currently a sixth former and the conclusion that I have come to is that SPS is truly what you make of it. It can feel like a grind at times, summer camp at others and, more often than the preceding two options discretely, somewhere in between. Exactly where on that spectrum a given SPS studentâs experience actually lies appears to me to be a product of his/her natural ability to succeed and the studentâs willingness to put his/herself through a certain amount of discomfort in order to achieve the desired level of success. This of course gives the individual control, via the second half of the aforementioned product, of his or her experience. That being said the amount of discomfort required, for someone of barely above average natural ability (where I see myself), to achieve a given level of success is significantly higher than that of a very good public school (the reference point available to me).
I suppose this doesnât exactly answer your question âabout the general culture/mood of the student bodyâ, however to try and do so in any less than a paragraph would be silly. If I had to make a statement about the general culture of SPS however, I would say that it is geared heavily toward success, yet the school (and to some extent the culture it creates), from my observations, is relatively unconcerned with how a given student achieves his/her success. There is almost no mandatory study hall, there is no lights out and there are very few daily homework checks or quizzes. If your son can get the grades he wants without doing much work, he has the option to do so. If he canât manage the grades he wants doing minimal work, or simply doesnât like the idea of succeeding in that fashion, he will have the option to âgrind it outâ.
The options extend to nearly all other areas of life as well. A discussion that comes up on a fairly regular basis is that of SPSâ strength (program-wise) and the general consensus seems to be that it has no program that is disproportionately lobbied for or tended to. Instead SPSâ programs, both academic and extra curricular, seem to me to have an even strength. The purpose of this I believe is to allow students the freedom to choose from many concentrations and the ability to succeed (particularly beyond Millville) in any given one.
The best explanation I can come up with to explain the latitude we are given is that the school truly does care about freedom. Freedom allows us to find the balance that works for us and I assure you most students at SPS do elect to find a balance between work and play.
</code></pre>
<p>Thanks so much, laxislife!
We are weighing out so many variables. It seems like a terrific fit in a lot of ways. He is sold on SPS over Groton (too small) and Hotchkiss (donât know why⊠and canât get him to articulate it⊠I think itâs a âfeelâ thing). The alternative is a very good private day school in town. He has a very sharp mind, and excellent academic abilities. He has been able to blow things off until the last minute, etc., and do well. So your point is well-taken about the road to success. He wants to work harder and be around other kids who care a lot. I think he feels shame/guilt about how much praise he receives for his academic record, when it comes so naturally. For this reason, we are looking forward to his being surrounded by motivated students, excellent teachers, and a very strong curriculum that will give him the push he seems to need/want. That said, he works best under deadlines and pressure which donât come from within him. It might be good for him to fall a little bit, to learn to struggle, and to WORK. But from a parent perspective, I worry that he will blow things off until the last minute and stay up too late once he finally sits down to work, etc. I like the idea (at least in the 9th grade) of study halls, lights out, and occasional homework checks. Thereâs always college for all of that freedom⊠but I do see the value in letting people really reveal what THEY want, not what their parents or faculties want for them. </p>
<p>Thanks so much for your insights. Any more thoughts you have on the social world there would be greatly appreciated!</p>
<p>for anyone currently at SPS, am I allowed to bring my ps3 and play it using my computer? do people do that?</p>
<p>Sorry no one answered you. Yes, people do bring games. My sonâs roommate brought his in the third form, his grades suffered, his housemaster took away his controllers, but eventually he withdrew for academic reasons⊠So yes, but be careful! St. Paulâs is a great opportunity but exercise maturity and responsibility, donât waste too much of your life on video games (forgive my lecture).</p>
<p>Ooh, I donât like the story about the roommate gaming away his time at SPS and eventually dropping out. Yikes. Feeds into all of our fears (and all the other parents at the re-visit days) about the potential risk of âfreedom with responsibility.â</p>
<p>Just got back from SPS re-visit, as well as re-visit at Groton. Mom, Dad, and son loved both schools. Groton is very hands-on, treats the incoming freshman as the un-developed kids they are, and gives them a template that âworksâ as far as getting their work done, etc. We thought the faculty, administration, students, and parents were all just wonderful. It was our first stop, and it basically sealed the deal in dropping our local day school option off the list. </p>
<p>Then we went to SPS. Everything there was on a completely different scale, with the amazing new science/math building, the sprawling grounds, the breadth and depth of curriculum, and the variety of student passions/interests just almost over the top. Not sure it even seemed like a high school. That said, our son was over the moon about the school, loved the kids, and just felt so at home there. He is ready for a big stretch, and has felt overly confined and very programmed in a small private school and with us as âhelicopterâ parents. He is ready to flap his wings, and I know he feels this is possible at SPS, with the tone they set that they trust the kids and will support them, without guiding and managing their every move. In the end, we are going with HIS gut, and are hopeful that he takes advantage of the unbelievable opportunities at this amazing school. It seems like a bigger risk, and puts us farther out of our comfort zone, but itâs the only way he will really grow into the person he wants to be, finding his own internal motivation, passions, etc. We know that the whole reason he is leaving home in the first place is to experience a level of independence and self-management that SPS will offer. I sure hope we are making the right choice. He was so happy at both, but just seemed more inspired at SPS. </p>
<p>Just wanted to share our impressions.</p>
<p>IndyMom4 - Welcome to the SPS family! As your sonâs enrollment approaches, if you have any questions, Iâd be happy to help address them if I can.</p>
<p>Donât worry too much with the freedom with responsibility thing. There are safety nets in place. If your childâs grades become a concern, for an example, the student will be placed in a structured study hall. Teachers, advisers and other adults on campus are watching out and will step in if needed to set some boundaries. However, the school does lose a student here and there who just canât hack the work - often because they continue to make unwise choices about their study habits despite guidance and correction. You can lead a horse to water, but you canât make him drink, as the old adage goes. In my opinion, SPS is not a sink or swim school. </p>
<p>Additionally, I understand some of the freedom component might be tweaked in the coming year but do not know details yet. I guess things are being discussed and gaming systems may be limited or not allowed in the future. Which is fine by me. I would never send my kid to school with a game system. Thatâs not what I am paying all the $ for but other families obviously feel differently. I do, however, feel that kids need to learn to set their own boundaries. As an example, for schools with an internet shut-off or facebook shut-off during study hours or at a set time of night, in the current world of smart phones, kids still have access 24/7 anyway so its a futile gesture. The earlier a teen learns to self-monitor this kind of stuff, the better.</p>
<p>IndyMom4: Congratulations on your familyâs decision! This time last year, we were in the exact same place as you, choosing between SPS and Groton. Needless to say, both schools offer so much, yet are quite different from one another. My child had a very strong feeling about SPS, feeling an overwhelming sense of âfitâ. I was both intrigued by, and nervous about, âfreedom with responsibilityâ , but it has been just as creative1 says. Although the student needs to be self motivated, there are definitely safety nets in place, and terrific advisors and faculty members. I think that also my child felt that SPS was a school that would not be âoutgrownâ in 4 years. Like your son, the previous school was a small private day school. Now, nearing the end of our III Form year, I can tell you that SPS has been nothing short of outstanding. My child is challenged, inspired and supported on a daily basis, and we have never second guessed this decision - You have lots to look forward to!!</p>
<p>2 years ago, after being accepted at 5 schools, we were also deciding between SPS and Groton on April 9th. Both schools appealed to my son because he liked the strong community feel at both yet, as Indymom states, the schools have different approaches. Bottom line for my son, SPS was it. He felt he might outgrow Groton by the end of his 4 years as well - besides, he bristled at the 10 PM lights out for freshman as he stayed up later at home in middle school. 
Additionally, when comparing facilities, SPS clearly came out on top.</p>