Hey guys. I’m not looking for medical advice, but rather peer support.
This past year, I’ve developed panic disorder (or a seizure disorder, we’re not sure). I’ve never seen this side of anxiety and never knew it existed, but when an attack hits, it SLAMS and I very much am convinced I’m going to faint, have a seizure and or die. During these, I start losing control over my body completely and my limbs start tingling fiercely as if they’re asleep and I can’t move them. Happens with breathing too.
This happens on a daily basis unfortunately. I would try going to counseling but this issue seems too far gone to solve in counseling in time for the trials of the semester. I’ve avoided psychiatric medications for quite a while since this started shortly after starting them almost a year ago. I quit taking them after I had strange episodes that seem to be massive panic attacks.
I know it seems lazy, but I’m feeling like psychiatric medication is the ONLY way I can get this under control and continue this semester. But medications like SSRIs come with side effects and they may not resolve or the medication may not start working for a month or more. I guess what I’m afraid of at this point is starting medication and the side effects just make things worse or I just start failing my classes.
I’m taking 18 hours right now. How many hours could I take while still having a manageable load while dealing with side effects? Twelve hours is minimum full time and the day to drop without academic penalty is coming up THIS week. What should I be doing to help have a safeguard in place for this semester? I’m already registered with the disability office. Taking a semester off may not be the best idea since I’m on a timed scholarship and I’m not sure they’d hold it for me.
I’m sorry if I’m not asking the right questions or I’m not making sense. I’m writing this after having a 9/10 attack earlier this evening and I’m a little shaken.
You need to go to the counseling center now and discuss your options. If you have documentation then a medical withdraw should be possible at any time. Some schools will allow it after the semester ends if you have been seeing a medical professional and have documentation. Some schools will allow you to under load below full time status. You do have options but you need to get the documentation in order now. Most schools have a well defined rules for these situations. Just make sure you understand all the ramifications. If you take a medical withdraw for this semester see what has to be done to return. Just be aware that the rules for a medical withdraw for mental health reasons can be very different then a medical withdraw for physical illness.
As for medication, it can be hit or miss. Sometimes they can make everything worse. It takes time to find the right one.
Based on what you posted you might need to take a semester or two off. If you can find a short term (fast acting) medicine that works until the long term medication starts to work, you might be able to survive. However only you and your doctor can decide if it is worth it. Battling this and taking a full or reduce course load does take a toll on the body.
As for the scholarship, you need to contact the financial aid department.
Thanks, @noname87. I very much appreciate the response. Because of the Labor Day Weekend, I cannot talk to anyone until Tuesday afternoon but I definitely need to go talk to the disability office and/or the counseling center and ask them what people in my position have done in the past. I have until tomorrow (Wednesday) to decide what classes to drop. I’m kinda thinking I should drop down to 12 hours.
I just hope whatever I decide, it doesn’t put me in a worse spot than I am in right now. I’ll follow up on this later. Thanks again!
In addition to the second pm, are you comfortable discussing this with your parents? Sometimes navigating the medical system can be tough especially with anxiety.
I have discussed this issue with my parents. Each time one of these episodes happens, they simply get upset with a, “scoffAgain?” attitude. Moreso, they’re disappointed I can’t control it on my own. Definitely I’d love to be able to control it! But if I could, I wouldn’t be in this position…
Everyone in my family works in the medical field except me. Two family members have told me I’m just like the people that come in the ER just for attention purposes. Thus, I don’t have much familial support through this. But as you can see, my family and I aren’t even close to begin with. So… I pretty much do this by myself.
Sorry to hear that. Some people can’t seem to accept that mental illness is real.
There are techniques that can help but it takes time and effort to be effective. Medication can help short term and some need it for long term relief. Every case is different.
Check out www.nami.org and see if your school has a local chapter.
Definitely I’ll try exploring my options. I would hope to come off medications at some point. Therapy would definitely be highly beneficial. But it’s just too slow and fixing my issues will require more time than I’ve got in this semester. My plan of action is to try some kind of medication until things are manageable and come off it once I’ve made considerable progress in therapy.
Just understand that the long term medicines need close to 4 weeks to have any effect and 8 weeks plus to adjust the dose. Short term can give immediate relief but are not for long term use.
Slight update: I dropped down to 15 hours. I’m hoping that I didn’t make a mistake about not dropping to 12 hours. I could’ve had such an easy semester. But I’m just going to take it as it goes and if I need to take a W from here on out, I’ll do that.
