I really just want to leave.

Student Lounge College Life
1

I’ve posted about this before, but I need some advice.

College has triggered some pretty serious anxiety and depression in me. Since I last posted I’ve had a few panic attacks, and even getting out of bed in the morning is hard.

I still manage to make it to class and take notes, but I have no idea how much I’m actually absorbing and if I’m learning anything. Focusing and finishing reading and assignments is a huge task for me, and I’m getting behind in my classes. I’m afraid this is going to snowball into getting Ds or Fs for my first semester, and I’m scared of being put on academic probation.

I really just don’t want to be in college right now, but that’s probably mostly the depression talking. I was prescribed an antidepressant last week, and I’ve been taking it as instructed. It’s supposed to take a 4-6 weeks to kick in, though. I’m afraid by the time I’m feeling the effects of the medication, my GPA will already be ruined.

I want to stay, but I don’t think it’s best for me. I think my best choice would be going home, getting a job and working on controlling my mental illness. My parents haven’t considered that as an option, though. What should I do? I really really want to succeed in college, but I don’t think it’s possible right now.

PS: I know this is a lot of the same stuff as other posts and I’m sorry for the repetition. I just don’t really know where else to turn.

2

A few concrete steps:

  1. Go talk to a counselor at your college immediately. Even if you have gone, go again.
  2. Ask the psychiatrist who prescribed the anti-depressant if he/she thinks it would be helpful for you to take an anti-anxiety medication as well. That will work immediately to take the edge off.
  3. Get into a regular gym routine. Even if you just start out at 15 minutes per day on the treadmill.
  4. Find a therapist (could be off-campus) who specializes in cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). It's a short-term approach that is very practical and will teach you specific techniques to combat panic attacks and anxiety. It is extremely effective for those issues as long as the therapist is well-trained in CBT.
  5. Can you drop one class to make your semester more manageable? Or switch one or two classes to pass/fail? Talk to your academic adviser.
  6. Find a yoga class. Go.
  7. Remember: You are NOT alone. Hundreds if not thousands of students are feeling the same way! Sometimes just knowing that can be helpful.
3

My parents told me that if I did not go to college right after H.S. graduation, I would probably never go. They were wrong. I was not ready for college. I was extremely introverted and somewhat depressed. I struggled through 2.5 years, dropped out full time, took a few courses part-time, then dropped out completely after 5 years, age 23 – I did manage to get a two-year degree out of it.

I went back to school when I was 28 and finished my BFA. A few years later I went back again and completed a Masters degree. I don’t know if the first 5 years were a total waste, as I did learn a good deal despite a very poor GPA. But still, I would have been better off working and developing better social skills before I started college the first time.