<p>alright....well i'm currently a freshman in community college, i was an average student in high school, got into a couple of state universities but decided to hold off...i took a year off to help my mom out (she has alot of health problems) save some money etc and now i want to get my grades up and reapply to some of the more competitive Liberal Arts Colleges. My problem is that my mother is really trying to dissuade me from even bothering to apply. For the most part she won't be able to contribute anything to helping me pay tuition...room/board and books. I'm on my own. My father is of unknown whereabouts so unless i get a lawyer and drag him into court he won't be helping either. are there any other parents out there in similar situations who have had kids manage to pay for more expensive schools? or should i just be more "realistic" (as my mom says) and go to a state school?</p>
<p>I think you ought to ask what your reasons are for a private education. Do you feel you are getting something better? I personally feel many public schools offer as good an education and often better than many private schools.
My D. turned down many scholarships from private schools as she elected to attend her hugh public U which she loves and guess what? When she graduates she will be debt free.
I would advise visiting the schools.</p>
<p>The most important thing in picking a college (ignoring for a moment the money aspect) is fit. It's great that angstridden's daughter loves her large U, but no school is a fit for everyone regardless of whether its a LAC, a large U, or something in-between. Some students who would be lost in the world of the large U thrive with the personal attention and small class size of a LAC, and lets not ignore location (urban, rural, etc) as well as all the other factors that go into choosing a college.</p>
<p>I'm not a lawyer so I can't advise the OP as to what colleges will expect the father to contribute. It probably depends in part on whether the parents are legally divorced or if dad just packed up and left. I'd suggest as a first step clarifying this issue.</p>
<p>Next, find out what mom is expected to contribute according to the financial-aid formulas. You can find this info online; be sure to take into account medical expenses and the like. However if you DO have high demonstrated need then the good news is that many colleges will meet that need. In fact you may end up paying less to attend a private college than you would a state school; the UC system in CA, for example, isn't very generous with financial aid and tends to build packages with lots of loans. Some elite schools have gone so far as to eliminate any parent contribution for those with family incomes under $40K, and Princeton doesn't require students to take out loans as part of their package. These are the elite schools with huge endowments and things are not as generous elsewhere, but the point is that you're not going to be saddled paying $35K/year for college if you can't afford it. That's realism, not what mom has said.</p>
<p>Armed with info about what is affordable, a proper search can begin. Grades and recs from your profs are going to be crucial at the more competitive schools; if you were a so-so student in HS they want to see evidence something has changed and that you will thrive in their school. So attend office hours and get to know your instructors. You also ought to look to improve your study skills. Take advantage of the study center at your CC to get help and advice. Also there's a book I recommend every college student own; its What Smart Students Know by Adam Robinson, one of the founders of the test prep service Princeton Review. I have never seen a better explanation of the steps you need to follow to really <em>learn</em> the material for all types of classes (sciences, liberal arts, etc), and if you've learned it well you will have no trouble with grades.</p>
<p>Don't turn away from schools that are less competitive in admissions just because they're not the household names you hear all the time on this board. A fantastic online article about broadening the search by US News is at <a href="http://tinyurl.com/djtnm%5B/url%5D">http://tinyurl.com/djtnm</a></p>
<p>I think you just need to document about your absent father not locate him. You might get a clergy member or physician or a lawyer to write a letter documenting your situation.</p>
<p>Two things - you are a year closer to emancipation than most kids on this forum, I don't think you can get emancipation, but it won't hurt to look into that idea vs your situation. Secondly, look into Honors Colleges at state unis - the best ones offer LAC-like experiences for less money - good luck.</p>
<p>hey, thanks for all the responses. my parents are legally divorced. i assumed i would have to take my father to court because he does pay the court ordered child support (most of the time)so while i don't know where he is i don't think it will matter to the school all that much.
i'm definetly not ruling out state universities. i am fully aware that they do offer a quality education, but i do know that i would prefer a more rural (sick of the city!) school, with smaller classes. also i'm going to be a classics major w/concentration in ancient greek and latin. the privates offer more advanced language classes than the publics.
thanks for the rec about the book mikemac, i definetly need some help on how to study for math classes especially.
again, thanks everyone. it's nice to hear that it is at least worth trying, that it's not entirely impossible.</p>
<p>sarah, best of luck to you in your college search and your studies.</p>
<p>One tip about math; in college bookstores these days I see lots of books they didn't have in my day -- of course the snow was higher then, too, and going to school and back was uphill both ways :) But seriously, there are lots of books for math and the sciences that have worked-out examples for subjects like physics, algebra, calculus, etc. Look in your local bookstore or search an online bookstore for <subject> problem solver. These are invaluable if used correctly. </subject></p>
<p>The correct way is NOT as crib notes to finish your homework; sure, you can find a problem like the one in your homework that's solved and make the necessary substititions to get the answer you need. This doesn't help anyone; the teacher doesn't need the correct answer from you (she has the solution guide already), the purpose of assigning homework is for YOU to learn how to solve the problems. And you're not going to be able to bring your solutions book into the exam.</p>
<p>The right way to use these books is to read your text and then find the section appropriate for what you're studying. Cover the answer and solve the problem. If you get it right, great! If not, read their solution carefully and make sure you understand each and every step. Then cover the answers and solve the next problem. Repeat until you can solve them correctly. At this point, the homework becomes easy because you KNOW how to do the problems.</p>
<p>The book I recommended, BTW, does have a chapter devoted to how to study for math and science classes. You can also find advice for studying math online such as <a href="http://tinyurl.com/chdma%5B/url%5D">http://tinyurl.com/chdma</a> or <a href="http://tinyurl.com/bqnb3%5B/url%5D">http://tinyurl.com/bqnb3</a>. </p>
<p>As for your dad paying for college, a lot depends on what state you live in. See <a href="http://tinyurl.com/8xqx8%5B/url%5D">http://tinyurl.com/8xqx8</a> for one article about it. In some states a non-custodial parent's legal obligation ends when you are 18/19/21. In others they are obligated for college. Your CC probably has a program where you can get free access to a lawyer or the financial aid office may know the law in your state, and I urge you to investigate this up-front.</p>
<p>State universities offer great education, and often great scholarships, but I've found LAC can give better money when financial need is really a problem. One of my buds applied to UT and Princeton and A&M, and he got the best aid from Princeton. He says this only happens in cases where the applicant would have trouble paying otherwise.</p>
<p>I say, apply, and see how the aid is, but also apply to many state schools.</p>
<p>I think it depends what state you're in! Clearly, some are better than others.</p>
<p>Knowing where you are might help...If you are in New York...the best financial/adacemic deal in town is to transfer to a public college at Cornell. In California, the community colleges can be a path to Berkeley, UCLA or for the more rural school Davis or Merced. Some public schools offer honors programs that can provide you with smaller classes...some schools the larger classes are designed for freshman and you may miss that by taking the right classes at the community college level. </p>
<p>As for financial aid and LACs. I would consider writing a letter describing your situation and ask what would the financial aid office advise you to do....email it to a few of your favorite schools and see what kind of response you get. Some schools might be more empathetic than others. Get your grades up....good luck.</p>
<p>Hi Sarah,</p>
<p>If you do not know where your father is, he has been absent and hasn't contributed to your support the colleges will ask you to fill out a non-custodial waiver. You will probably need supporting documentation from your h.s. GC and maybe the financial aid office at your current school. Are you getting FA now? If yes, is it just based on your mother's income?</p>
<p>Mr. B is correct that if you are a NY state resident and doing well you could probably get transfer to the state University at Cornell. Also if you are in NYC there are is a community college program with NYU's steinhardt school of education</p>
<p>many colleges have articulation agreements with community colleges where you can get an automatic transfer. Also don't rule out the women's colleges; barnard, Smith and mount holyoke which would be very accomodating to you as a transfer student. They also meet 100% of your demonstrated need and give generous grant aid</p>
<p>many schools participate in educational opportunty programs which you may be eligible for. In NY it is HEOP. You can google HEOP to fins several NYS schools that particpate</p>
<p>you can google educational opportunity program to find a list of schools
all the best.</p>
<p>thanks again all. i live in massachusetts. the community college i'm at does have a transfer agreement with the UMASS schools, and I am considering Umass Amherst (they have a great 5college consortium program where students can cross register w/amherst college, smith and a couple others that have slipped my mind). but as of the late, the state of massachusetts has been cutting the amount of money in state schools quite drastically. a friend that goes there to me that the average fin. aid package is around $6,000 but it costs 15,000 to attend. (he might have been wrong, so feel free to point out any error there...) but again thanks, and as mikemac said, i think my best bet will be to talk to a finaid counselor who will be able to tell me more specifically how this sort of situation is handled. again, thanks everyone for taking the time to respond.</p>
<p>Sarah,</p>
<p>Then you should definitely look into Smith and Mt Holyoke which are also part of the 5 college consortium as both meet 100% of your demonstrated need with lots of grant money so in the end it could be less expensive than Umass</p>