I know there are a few other threads along the same lines but would appreciate your input.
Single family income, (decent) with little to none expected from the kids dad. Two kids headed to college, one to community college, (so-so student). D is and always has been an exceptional student. 4.15 GPA, 2330 on SATs. Applied to a few reach schools hoping to get Merit money… got into Northeastern, which she LOVES… but only got $11K off the $60 price tag (per year). State school giving her free tuition, only charge would be room and board, ($10K per year). She got into both schools Honors Engineering programs although she’s not totally sure yet what she wants to do. Both schools rated exactly the same on US News ranking. Monday magazine has state school ranked in the 70’s while Northeastern is ranked 344!! Of course now she says she is sorry she applied to state state school, doesn’t want to go there… she is really in love with the idea of going to school in Boston. I can’t blame her there… NU campus is much nicer than the prospect of riding buses around Rutger’s campus. We made a mistake not applying to more schools that she would have surely gotten into, but I left her to do most of that herself. (She got into NU, Rutgers and George Washington (with 15K of merit).
I could scrape together the first year’s tuition at NU from 529 and bonus/tax refund, but then hard pressed to pay the remaining years… I could do maybe $20K a year, and am sure ex would have little to none to contribute even though he is supposed to be splitting college expenses.
Is there anywhere in the universe where NU be worth $120,000 more than Rutgers when they are ranked the same? I think it would be a true gift to graduate with zero debt.
I.e. Northeastern with a net price of $49,000 per year is too expensive (your daughter cannot realistically self-fund $29,000 per year). Decision made in favor of Rutgers.
If you told her that you can only afford to contribute $20,000 per year or less before she applied to any colleges, then she should certainly understand that Rutgers is her only affordable choice.
A couple of things. NEU meets full need for all accepted students…starting this year. That you got $11,000 in need based aid says you also have a somewhat decent income…and/assets.
Engineering would be fine at either school.
But do consider the co-op program offered by NEU. It does take five years to complete the degree, but after second year, every other term is a co-op term where you work…get experience and get paid.
Would she consider going to the full ride state school to get her degree then consider the pricier college for a masters degree? When, of course, she could pay for it herself and may have a different opinion by then.
No debt is the best gift, I agree. I’d try to convince her of that, even to the point of bribing to make it work.
Miller…some kids don’t take bribes. Our kid was an engineering major as well. She got an outstanding scholarship to one school, and a teeny one to another that cost almost triple the cost.
We told her what the difference in costs could get for her…trips abroad, a car, a condo, money for grad school, blah blah blah.
Both schools were affordable for us, and that was determined before applications were sent.
She chose the most expensive school. Didn’t have a car, didn’t travel abroad during college, doesn’t have a dime towards grad school, and certainly didn’t get a condo! Didn’t matter to her.
And you know…her college choice was excellent for her.
Northeastern is a fine school with a very good reputation here in Boston - but it’s not worth the price disparity over Rutgers which is also a fine school. I think I’d have difficulty justifying that price gap if you were deciding between engineering at MIT and the metaphorical East Podunk State.
I don’t believe you have to have all 4 years of college saved up before starting, but I do think you need to have a reasonable understand of where the money, or loans, to pay for those future years are going to come from. Your son may come into his own at community college and want to transfer to Rutgers or another school, and he’ll need some of that money too.
Not only will the tuition cost more at NEU, but the travel, rents, food, entertainment costs are very high for Boston. Your daughter will be disappointed, but help her fall in love with Rutgers. Are there any special programs she’s interested in? Clubs? Sports? Study abroad? A particular dorm with a particular roommate? My daughter really liked her state flagship option, but by the time she arrived on campus she was in love with it - hockey, swing dancing, sororities, camping, biking. Oh, and academics too!
I did NOT want to go to my state flagship because it was local. Even with scholarships it became my only choice eons ago. Went there and loved it. The campus was a world apart from the rest of the city and my suburb. It could be that the option of instate college versus no college choice will make Rutgers more appealing. Plus- she’ll be in Honors and therefore with the best in the state (who also won’t be taking on massive debt at other schools) so she may even have a better academic peer group. She will be busy with classes as an engineering major and wouldn’t have time for enjoying Boston now.
So, we parents have come through for you in deciding the state school is the place to be.
My son looked at and really liked an out of state college where it would cost him about $8,000 more for tuition than in state residents. I asked him, " do you really want to sit in class next to other kids who have spent thousands less to be there than you? They would possibly have spending money and you wouldn’t." I wanted him to think about that; your daughter should think of it too. There are more ways to be smart than just GPAs and SAT scores, you want her to be financially savvy, too and use common sense. I don’t think it hurts to tell her that.
Kids are sitting next to other kids at schools, public and private, all the time where people are paying different costs for the same product. We paid full cost for our instate schools and know that other instate kids probably paid less but I tried not to think about that. I know other kids came from other states and may have paid more (and some actually paid less than us because of need based aid)but I don’t think it mattered and hopefully my kids weren’t basing their friendships on how people were paying for school and worrying about who they were sitting next to. Decide on a budget and stick to it.
thanks all. It’ll be a hard nut for her to swallow, and of course it’s not fun to limit her choices. i like what this parent said on another similar thread:
“Keep in mind that an 18 year old has very limited knowledge of what $100,000 in loans really means. It’s just numbers and we as parents have to guide them. So, encouraging them to strongly consider a scholarship over a full pay school is our job! I’m fairly sure that your child did not get a scholarship to an awful option so he/she should definitely consider all options. Many posting here must not mind going into debt, they have a lot saved or deep pockets. When I tell my D I can not afford NYU even with the generous scholarship they offered I do feel a little bad BUT it’s not a measure of my love! My love is unconditional but I don’t have that much money! Some parents have to understand when they state they are paying full tution somewhere and it cost $64,000 a year it sounds unimaginable!”
Please understand I never said anything about basing friendships on what someone else is or is not paying for their college education. However, I think it’s useful for a student to realize that different people will be paying different costs for the same education.