Statement of Purpose - Critique

<p>I would like for several of you to critique my SOP as I will be applying to several universities for a Ph.D in Cancer Biolgy within the next week. All help is appreciated. This is a very general SOP that will work for most universities, but please feel free to give suggestions and feedback.
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<p>Statement of Purpose</p>

<p>One of the most challenging questions that I get asked during casual conversation is “why did you decide to study Biology?” and my answer usually elicits a puzzled look: for the same reason people fall in love. Adrenaline, dopamine, and serotonin all work together in an elaborate, and elegant process that excite you and make it difficult to think of little else than that one individual. I vividly remember reading an article by Lisa Brannon-Peppas and James O. Blanchette that explored targeted treatments of cancer; specifically delivery methods using nanoparticles and anti-body targeted therapies, and I recall the exact moment when I grasped the science behind these innovative techniques because a chill ran down my spine. To be able to discover a method in which a drug can be conjugated to a tumor-specific molecule and remain inactive until it reaches the tumor and be able to distinguish the surface of cancerous cells from healthy cells was, to put simply, deeply moving.</p>

<p>I enrolled at the University of Texas Pan American to pursue a degree in Biology, where I felt that I could unleash the scientist inside me on my broader and more pertinent interests in molecular and cell biology. During my junior and senior undergraduate years, I conducted research on the presence of the protozoan Trypanosoma cruzi inside Triatoma insect vectors that cause Chagas disease, and the vector’s distribution in Texas. This project, under the direction of Prof. T. P. Feria, introduced me to the exciting nature of working in a university-level research laboratory. After classes, I would often work late into the night, eager to experience the thrill of seeing results. Moreover, during this time I immersed myself in scientific literature in order to see other fascinating avenues of research. During my search, I discovered a paper on the identification of blood-meal sources of Triatomine bugs by Dr. Sonia A. Kjos’s group. Concurrently, I was reading about cell signaling and apoptosis in the field of cancer biology.</p>

<p>After graduating with a bachelor’s of science in Biology, I decided to continue my research and applied to the master’s program at University of Texas Pan American under Dr. Feria’s supervision. I decided to direct my research focus towards more bio-medically related aspects of Chagas disease. My current thesis involves the collection of Triatomine insects from several different parks in Starr County and testing collected insects for species, presence of protozoan T. cruzi, protozoan lineage, and blood-meal analysis. Data collected will include a list of the genus and species of all mammalian, avian, and vertebrate that have been fed on by collected insects including (if any) humans, percentage of insects that are infected with T. cruzi, and genus and species for each individual Triatomine insect collected. Future work will include protozoan T. cruzi lineages, and compare different lineages with blood-meals in order to determine a preference if any for human and mammalian hosts. </p>

<p>I am interested in cell signaling, apoptosis and target-specific cancer therapies, as well as deepening my understanding of molecular and cellular biology in general. In addition, using a cancer cell’s inherit surface and anti-body differences to construct a delivery system that is specific to a patient’s tumor has always fascinated me, and I believe that this is the key to treating many cancers that are currently incurable.
With respect to my current research interests, I think that the Cancer Biology program at [Insert university name here] is ideal for what I would like to study. I am particularly interested in the work of [insert professor name here and their research]. Of course, my interested in this program is also bolstered by [insert university name here] excellence in cancer research and collaboration, and I believe that I would obtain a firm foundation in this field in order to apply my knowledge to a human problem with clinical need.</p>

<p>Upon completing the doctoral program, I hope to obtain a post-doctoral at an institute specifically researching nanoparticle cancer delivery systems, such as the Harvard Center of Cancer Nanotechnology Excellence in Cambridge, with the aim of better controlling and manipulating molecular structures to create novel designs for targeted drug and siRNA delivery for the treatment of melanoma, prostate, and colon cancer. I then hope to obtain a faculty position at a research university to continue my study into cancer biology and nanoparticle cancer targeted systems development and to spread my interests and the understanding of nature to students of my own.</p>

<p>Bump</p>

<p>“Biology” isn’t a proper noun. Don’t capitalize it.</p>

<p>The first paragraph is kind of cheesy. It made me cringe a bit, especially “for the same reason people fall in love.” I think you should tone it down a little: describe why you’re passionate without necessarily using the flowery language (“a chill ran down my spine”, “deeply moving”). Also, was this pre-college? Because after that you say that you enrolled in college. Are you a non-traditional student?</p>

<p>In the last paragraph, first sentence, you left out a word: “I hope to obtain a postdoctoral fellowship/position” (use one or the other). Otherwise it looks pretty good, although I do have to say that I don’t know enough about biology to know how much of it is jargon and how much will be commonly known to biologists. Just remember that not all of the biologists reading your statement will be cancer researchers, so you have to make sure that you aren’t using any terminology that only cancer biologists or even only cell biologists would know about.</p>