Storytelling/Reflection in College Essays

My common application essay (which is about the time I connected with a high school student accross the world) is split about 400 words on telling the story about how we connected, and 200 words with reflection. I don’t think there’s much more I can write about reflecting, but I showed my essay to a college admissions consultant and she said I need to cut down on my story-telling vs reflection, even though I’m within the limit and my reflection feels complete. I also sent her a essay for the UCs, about how singing, specifically ad-libbing, taught me about taking risks and accpeting faliures- I wrote it in a story-telling format about how ad-libbing taught me to take risks and how that applies to other areas of my life. My counselor said I just needed to give facts for the UCs- how many years I’ve sang, where have I performed etc, but I feel like story-telling can still reveal things about your personality, right?

How important is having a seperate, direct reflection statements in common applications versus story-telling? In UC essays, are you expected to just write direct details or can story-telling also work?

I’m not sure what you mean about storytelling, but a good way to approach the Common App essay is to think of it as a small vignette that represents a moment or a series of moments in your life and describes how that moment (or those moments) have shaped you. Your example of singing/ad-libbing/taking risks sounds great.

The UC essays are a bit more targeted – you have to make sure that you are answering the question that they are asking. The essay you describe would work well is describing your creative side.

I’d be happy to take a look and give you more directed feedback if you want to PM me. Do NOT post anything online.

I would also be happy to look at it – but the key is to make sure that it focuses on YOU and not too much on the other high school student. Ideally reflection would be sprinkled throughout (show don’t tell) but I would say that it is the most important part rather than the actual specific details of the story itself – it is about how you have grown and how that translates to who you are.

Like the ad - libbing part its different and unique to you. I think with the storytelling idea you are writing what you “think” they want to hear. If your paying a consultant they should of given you ground rules for the essay. Make it interesting, unique and about you, who you are, and how you will contribute to the campus community.

If you write the first part of this sentence the last part will be inherently obvious.

Storytelling is good. Having the details overwhelm is not good. This for your admissions review, not a usual hs writing assignment or a newspaper article. You don’t need half the esay to explain every bit of how you connected. That’s not what adcoms are looking to learn.

It’s also, “Show, not just tell.” Show the traits they need to see. And it’s not just “you,” it needs to be relevant.

The higher the tier you’re targeting, the more your ability to edit matters, let go of the flourishes and unnecessary.

As for UC, imo, a tale that shows how adlibbing worked for you could do it. What’s the prompt? Adcoms aren’t looking to be entertained, but to see why you’re the sort they want. I think you may have over-interpreted what the counselor mean about the UC essay.

For the common app, I’m writing about an exchange program that I really care about- I’m not trying to write what AO’s want but does that sound forced?

For the UCs, I was just thinking the creativity prompt.

“I’m not trying to write what AO’s want”
Why not? They hold the decision power. You adapt your response to your goal: an admit. Same as if you apply for a job and they want to see your qualifications. Or if the job app asks for something in writing, not just the resume.

What does the essay about the exchange (pen pals?) show about you that is relevant to your college targets? What qualities?