<p>I'm seventeen, living in England, studying for AS levels and hoping to apply to both US and UK schools next year. I have Asperger syndrome, depression and anxiety/agoraphobia - or at least, that's what my rather unhelpful doctor has said.</p>
<p>I've struggled with my mental health since I was eleven but it's always been relatively manageable (excusing a period of time where I was bullied relentlessly by an ex-friend but this was five or six years ago and fairly irrelevant now). This was until last May, when halfway through a normal school day, I just snapped, left and couldn't go back. This prevented me from sitting my AS exams and I'm now retaking the year with the intention of doing it better.</p>
<p>The thing that kept me out school and the end of last year was this constant feeling that I was trapped. Doing the same thing every day was driving me mad, I was intensely bored with it all and finding it extremely difficult to be told what to do all day long. I feel like this makes me sound insolent and lazy but it absolutely was not - I hated every second and wanted nothing more than to enjoy school again. But being in the building was making me incredibly panicky all of the time and I got to a point where I couldn't physically force myself to go. I've never had so much of an issue with anxiety until then and I have no idea what triggered it.</p>
<p>The school were informed of my health issues and they've been wonderful in setting me up for the new year. I was really looking forward to going back. However, I've now been back five working days and have skipped three of them because I can't shake the feeling that it's not what I want to do anymore. So much so that I had a panic attack this morning at the thought of going. This is incredibly frustrating, because I want to get good A Levels and go to college more than I have ever wanted anything else and that used to be enough to spur me on but it doesn't seem to be working anymore. </p>
<p>I see a psychiatrist on a semi-regular basis, but he's never been much help - never given me an official diagnosis to work with or suggested any other anxiety/depression treatment than medication. I tried fluoxetine, which just made me constantly aggressive. I'm at a point where I just want to give up on it all but I don't know what else I'd do. </p>
<p>Does anyone have any suggestions on how combat this? Any help is very much appreciated. Thank you.</p>
<p>Hi, I just wanted to let you know someone is reading your post. This learning differences forum gets much less traffic than other places on CC, so you may want to post this in a different forum.
Are you parents aware of how this new school year is going? Have you called your psychiatrist since school started? You need to address what’s going on now, before you get too far along in the semester. There are many psychiatric meds that could help you, and I get the feeling from your post that you are not on anything, after a failed trial of fluoxetene.
There are many SSRIs, not to mention other psych meds, and your psychiatrist should be able to prescribe something to address your severe anxiety and distress. Meeting with a therapist can also be very helpful. Do you have ongoing counseling? Speak with your doctor and family ASAP to get you back to feeling better!!</p>
<p>I’m usually on the Alabama forum, and I’m not really sure why this page even popped up on my IPad. But I’m glad it did, because I can offer a great deal of advice. My son is 17. A year ago he was diagnosed as bipolar (mild) and also has anxiety issues. He is quite intelligent and like you really wants to go to college. And I think he will do so successfully because he has worked hard to learn the skills he will need to cope. So, this is what I suggest.
Involve your parents. If you can’t, find an adult somewhere you trust to guide you. Ask your school counselor to guide you if that’s an available option.
Get a better psychiatrist. Be very willing to endure the challenges of medication trials. It took a year to find my son’s current combination and I expect we will make some more changes. Expect side effects but know that the right meds are out there. Be willing to chart your moods and symptoms and to communicate them to your doctor. My son says he would rather not take meds, but understands and appreciates how they make it possible to be stable and productive. He bombed on ssri’s but is doing well on mood stabilizers. There are many options for a skilled doctor to try.
Search for a therapist you trust and work well with. Meds are only part of the solution. As you improve on meds you need to learn self management and coping skills. Ask your parents to go with you if possible. Be willing to be uncomfortable and challenged. It will help.
Accept help from your teachers. Show them you want to succeed by advocating for your unique needs. Fair does not always mean equal. </p>
<p>I’m talking to you as a mom and a teacher. We can offer advice through online forums but you need more direct, face to face, and consistent support. Accepting isn’t a weakness but a way of seeking success for yourself.</p>