in need of help/advice...

Parents Forum Learning Differences and Challenges - LD, ADHD
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<p>hi everyone. hopefully i could get some advice here, because i really don't know what to do.</p>

<p>for some background, when i was little, i had SUCH a hard time focusing. my dad is an immigrant who also happens to be a math genius, so he would literally make me do math problems every day in the summers until i was crying all of the time. <em>sigh</em>. anyways, i basically was always bad at math, then got better for a while, then in the beginning of high school things got really bad. & not just math...in everything. i started having so much difficulty in bio & history too, with all of the assigned reading. & the fact that i'm in all honors/ap classes never helped either.</p>

<p>i got so depressed b/c i would literally study for everything hours on end, & my grades would just get worse. my dad kept telling to 'study better, not longer', which makes sense, but i could never do it. he also told me that i probably 'think differently' b/c he had a learning problem when he was younger, & i might too [um, did i mention he's a math genius? yeah, that helped my self-esteem. not.]</p>

<p>& not to make myself into a total hypochondriac [lol], but after dong some research on ADD, everything seems to fit SO well, even though it's kind of confusing with all of the different sub-categories. but some symptoms:feeling tired & sluggish all of the time/harder u try, harder u fail/inability to focus. then it just got eerie with mention of bad handwriting in girls [my friends make fun of my handwriting cause i'm kind of ocd about it, & it's still ugly, lol.], nervousness [check], short fuse [check], etc., etc.</p>

<p>to this day [i'm a junior, btw] i get SO distracted when i try to study & i'm still wasting my life away either studying or procrastinating studying, with no improvements. actually, i now have a D in apbio, which is definitely the lowest of my lows :( i find myself reading half a sentence & getting up to go to my computer! [is that normal??]</p>

<p>& i feel like my parents won't take me seriously if i ask to go to the doctor. i mean, are there even any tests to know for SURE if u have ADD? i fell like i could potentially benefit from taking meds [GPA:3.3-ish but my SAT:2020], but i don't even want to think about my parents' reaction to that...:/ </p>

<p>whoa, if u read this, thanks for reading my novel! haha.</p>

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<p>there's a kid at my school who has ADD & gets more time, as approved by doctors & the schools and such, to complete tests, quizzes, and other assessments. I think you get double (or is it 50% more) time to finish the SATs too w/ certain learning disabilities. </p>

<p>you're asking me if that's normal lol. I do that all the time, but when I make myself get into studying, I stay focused on it. I'm really no doctor though, and even though this is CC, I think you should get a proper diagnosis.</p>

<p>good luck!</p>

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<p>You can probably get a teacher or school psychologist to recommend an educational assessment done by an educational psychologist. That means approximately 12 hours of testing, including IQ tests, mental illness screenings, tests that measure focus, ability to process different types of information, determine what type of learner you are (visual, verbal, etc.), and how your ability to perform academically measures up to your IQ. When the ability to perform certain tasks falls 1.5 to 2.0 deviations from your measured intelligence, then you are diagnosed with a learning disorder and will be eligible to ask for accommodations such as extra time, etc. It can be very specific. Sometimes, with math, it can be vision or spatial problems. The only way to know is to get tested. Insurance usually helps cover the cost. Some districts will test at no cost. Go private of you can. Tell your parents you really want to do better in school and just need to find out how you learn best. I hope you follow through- this issue will not just fade away once you graduate from high school. Good luck.</p>

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<p>Tomorrow, walk into the guidance counselors' office and tell them that you need an appointment with the school psychologist for a full psychometric evaluation. You are a smart capable kid. That none of your teachers have requested this yet is something that every single one of them should be ashamed of. Clearly something (dyslexia? ADD? something else entirely?) is going on here. Sit in the guidance office until someone puts you on the school psychologist's calendar. Be a real pest about it.</p>

<p>Please let us know what you find out!</p>

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<p>okay, update:i asked my parents a few days ago to schedule an appointment with my doctor so i can talk about it with her. & of course they were completely unwilling, but then my mom said she would make the call. i just talked to my mom & she said that my doctor said that she has an opening in a month to talk to my parents, which of course is completely ridiculous considering the fact that i don't want 2 people who deny anything is wrong with me to talk to my doctor & probably get her to give me a placebo or something...</p>

<p>the weird thing is, i KNOW my dad knows that i have a problem. even on the phone today he mentioned that i 'don't study well' & 'don't know how to learn', as if it's something like being left-handed, which one could get used to in a day's practice. he just refuses to put a NAME to it, & of course my mom follows suit. he also hinted to 'any mention of this' on my rec. next year would deter colleges from accepting me. so maybe if i try to get him to see that colleges look favorably upon hard work... </p>

<p>but i refuse to let this go, so i think i'll just make an appointment with my GC to ask her what to do. i'm pretty sure we don't have a school psychologist, though.</p>

<p>oh, & last night was 'college night' for parents, & mine met with my GC for the first time b/c she's new this year. my dad told her that i'm not doing well this year b/c my grandpa passed away in the summer, & that she should include that in her rec. for me next year [which is something that i honestly don't think has affected my schoolwork...] so now that's what she thinks & i'm going to have to attempt to de-brainwash her. awesome.</p>

<p>well, wish me luck when i see my GC :/</p>

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<p>my dad just told me that going through with this type of thing means that i would need to get my teachers to fill in all types of forms evaluating me, which is what the doctor told him. obviously, this puts me in a really uncomfortable position. is there any way for only ME to take the tests & not my teachers?</p>

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<p>Hi smartteenangel!</p>

<p>Happymomof1 has some excellent advice. Even if your school doesn't have its own psychologist, if you're in the US, your school district either has a psychologist on its payroll or has a psychologist it uses for referrals. Please get to your GC asap and tell her what you've told us. Insist that you need to be worked up for an LD. In terms of the teachers needing to fill out forms, ask your GC just to be sure, but I don't think that's going to happen. </p>

<p>It may be that the doctor who talked with your dad is thinking of situations in which the teacher notices that a student is, for example, intelligent and seems to understand the material, but is having a problem with tests that would seem to indicate an LD, and the teacher then requests that the student be evaluated for an LD. I'm assuming that the teacher in that situation would have to fill out a form explaining why he was requesting the evaluation. But in general, no, I don't think it's the case that all of the teachers are polled. </p>

<p>Moreover, if you do end up with a diagnosis of an LD, teachers will have to be told that you receive accommodations so that they can cooperate, but the school cannot reveal your diagnosis to teachers or to colleges, nor can the school tell the colleges that you receive accommodations. Period. Your GC and teacher recommendations can't mention the LD or the accommodations unless you request that mention be made. In short, this is a medical diagnosis and it is therefore private.</p>

<p>Sometimes parents are worried that if the student is worked up for an LD, the student will end up with a label that will follow the student forever and make it difficult to get into college or get a job. This is simply not what happens. In fact, there are laws that protect students from having this happen.</p>

<p>Finally, you might be surprised at how much support teachers will offer. My kid's teachers hadn't filled out any kind of forms and never knew what the diagnosis was unless he told them. But when the ETS turned him down for appropriate accommodations on the SAT, a bunch of his teachers filled out forms for him, and even wrote letters on their own, and the ETS changed its mind based on their observations. Some of your experienced teachers might have suspected that something is going on that is keeping your from performing at the level they'd expect from you, and may be very happy and relieved when the issue is addressed. Teacher observations could conceivably help you get the support you need.</p>

<p>Good luck! Please keep posting and let us know how it's going.</p>

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<p>"Teacher observations could conceivably help you get the support you need."</p>

<p>This might be what the Dr. meant when he said the teacher's would have to "fill out forms". When Happykid went through this process in elementary school, her classroom teachers were asked to complete a very simple form evaluating her behavior. So were we. It was only one or two pages and asked us to indicate "all the time", "some of the time", "never" for a bunch of different things. Since you are requesting this LD evaluation yourself, don't be afraid to ask who will be asked to complete this kind of survey form. At your age, you are expected to be an active participant in your own I.E.P. team.</p>

<p>"my dad is an immigrant"</p>

<p>Your dad isn't being deliberately obstructive, he's just operating with an outdated set of information. All of his concerns about your future and about the possible implications from a label of LD are colored by his own experiences 20 or 30 years ago. Most likely those experiences weren't even in this country! The state-of-the-art in dealing with LDs in the US is radically changed from his time, and probably radically different from his place of origin. He's smart. He loves you. Once he understands that things are very different here and now, there is every possibility that he will come around to your side. Be patient with him as he works his way through this process. Happydad is an immigrant too. Believe me, we had challenges explaining Happykid's IEP process to that side of the family. I'm old enough to remember when "special ed." was the kiss of death here in the USA. We got behind the process, and things have turned out well. Yours can too.</p>

<p>Wishing you well.</p>

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<p>I was in your same situation and after seeing my doctor two years ago during sophomore year, I was diagnosed with ADHD. The medicine she prescribed me helps a whole lot. It took a few months to get the right kind for me, but I found it eventually. You have to see a doctor, girl! I say, schedule the appointment even if it is a month away. It's worth the visit. </p>

<p>I'm in AP and honors, too, and I was always upset about how other people understood things I could not grasp--especially with math! My grades have improved, that's for sure!</p>

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<p>Sometimes, doctors have family members fill out questions/forms instead of teachers, especially at the high school level. One month is fine, that means you will be on the path to help soon. FYI: Even if you are a dependent and your parents are paying for the evaluation, your medical records are private. A psychologist or physician cannot share your private medical information without your written permission, the one exception being if your doctor thinks you may be a danger to yourself or others. You will not be given a placebo. Give us an update later!</p>

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<p>i just want to say THANK YOU ALL for the amazing advice that was given to me :D</p>

<p>it turns out, i would have had to get all of my teachers to fill out forms out of how i pay attention/act in class, etc. & i REALLY didn’t want to do that. apparently this is necessary & my doctor can’t make any sort of a diagnosis by just testing me/talking to my parents…so i guess this testing won’t happen right now & my gpa will just have to suffer. i’m pretty sure my guidance counselor will at least allude to all of this in a recommendation next year, so we’ll see how things go :/</p>

<p>i don’t know how much it would have been worth it, anyway. had it turned out that i do have add, any type of medication would be out of the question by my parents regardless.</p>

<p>thanks again to every one who responded…you’re all so wonderful!! :)</p>

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<p>OK, I might be incorrect here and I hope others chime in, but I do not believe that the only way to evaluate for LD’s/ADD etc. is to have teachers fill in forms. Perhaps this one doctor requires it, but I do not think that this is a universal requirement. When my child was tested for LD’s, the results were based upon the tests that were administered and the psychologists interviews with the parents and the child. For the psychologist to contact the teachers would, in fact, have been a violation of confidentiality as we would not have consented to it at that point. Of course, having data from teachers may be helpful, and some of us believe that one of the reasons our kids got accommodations from ETS is because we included teacher letters, but that came much later on.</p>

<p>My advice would be to get a list of psychologists who do educational testing for LD’s including ADD, or for other doctors who specialize in this area. Your local university might have a list through its psychology clinic or through its disability support center. A couple of phone calls could probably get you a list of possibilities. Then, it would not be improper to contact the psychologists or physicians and ask if it they are willing to do evaluations without speaking with your teachers as you have privacy concerns. I am not 100% certain, but I am pretty darned sure that you will find a legitimate professional who will meet your conditions.</p>

<p>If you have an LD and could benefit from accommodations or medication, there is no reason for you to live with the frustration, issues with your GPA, and fears of your teachers and GC saying bad things about you. A good psychologist will be able to evaluate and help you come up with a plan and some useful strategies to help you deal with your issues in the context of school and the academic demands of high school and college (especially if you let them know in advance that this is what you’re coming for – not just for a diagnosis or a prescription.) </p>

<p>Please don’t give up! You know about the policy of this one doctor and it doesn’t work for you. But that doesn’t mean that you won’t be able to find someone else who will be able to help you.</p>

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<p>Agree with the above post. The diagnosis can be done without any input from anyone. They test you for many hours and are able to make a proper diagnosis without asking your teachers. At any rate, if you do not get diagnosed in HS, many colleges have student health insurance that will pay for testing so if you still have problems by the time you get to college, you can take care of it later. I think it is worth stating that an ADHD diagnosis does not automatically mean you will have to take medication. Many ADHD kids use behavior modification, nutritional supplements, and cognitive behavioral therapy instead of medications. Good luck to you. Determination goes a long way with people who have ADHD.</p>

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<p>If you do badly in school and have study problems, how did you end up in honors AP classes. Perhaps you are in the wrong classes</p>