Student Performing Sub-par

<p>Hi,</p>

<p>My s goes to a renowned New England prep school; he started as a sophomore, having done his freshman year at a public school.</p>

<p>We have received his reports to find him not doing very well in school. He was a good student at his public high school. By not doing very well, I mean not anything above a B and one C+.
I am not sure if he is having trouble learning the materials or why he is not doing well? I also wonder how this might impact any future goals he might have? He has his eyes on Princeton right now, and the way he is proceeding, I am not so sure. </p>

<p>What are some suggestions I could give him, besides helping him with study skills? Have any of you had similar experiences? How have you dealt with this? How have you helped your child deal with these issues?</p>

<p>Maybe he should have repeated his Freshman year at BS. It’s tough to recreate what goes on that year academically at a normal HS.
Has he been to the BS’s Learning Center? Those places can rescue a kid with a bit of tutoring and/or organizational skills learning. I know two BS where half the school uses the learning centers.</p>

<p>Are you saying that your son had one C+ and the rest B- and B’s? At a lot of private schools those grades would put him in the mainstream, not the “underperforming” category. It would be good if he could bring that C+ up. At many public schools if you are reasonably smart and do your work you will not get below a B, but his new school the grading is probably tougher.</p>

<p>First thing, beyond the letter grades, what kind of comments are you getting from his teachers and advisor? Those are the things that will tell you if he is performing up to his capabilities and perhaps if there is something that he needs to be focusing on to move forward. If you are not getting enough feedback from the teachers/advisor, you need to be calling them for more information.</p>

<p>Now if the comments you get are all positive in terms of his effort and attitude, you probably are getting almost everything you can expect out of him. The teachers at these top schools do know how to judge kids.</p>

<p>Just remember, your son is in a school with considerably higher grading standards and probably taking a heavier load of tougher material than he ever has before. And these schools are notorious for giving very few “A” grades. This isn’t Lake Woebegone Public HS where all children can be the val.</p>

<p>Will those "B"s and “C+” grades hurt your son? Not likely at the top schools, as with the transcript, they typically get the grading statistics for the class. The admissions folks at these schools are very familiar with the top boarding schools and know that a “B” at X boarding school is better than an “A” at Lake Woebegone.</p>

<p>Now, if he is looking for numbers based scholarships, yes these grades will hurt, but it is a small price to pay for the experience of a top boarding school.</p>

<p>The only other piece of advice I can offer right now is to ask your son how he feels about his performance and if there is anything you can do (buy laundry service so he saves a few hours a week to study on Sunday?) to help him achieve HIS goals. I intentionally capitalized HIS goals, as ultimately HE will need to do the work.</p>

<p>Good Luck.</p>

<p>Have you seen the chart of the distribution of grades at your son’s school? The school will have one on hand, as they send out a school profile with every college application. Many boarding schools do not practice grade inflation.</p>

<p>Boarding schools use a different scale. Your son’s grades are quite good, particularly for his first year adjusting to boarding and higher level academics.</p>

<p>D’s boarding school prides itself on not having graduated a 4.0 in two years.</p>

<p>They say college know, but it kills you on college merit aid and competitive internships.</p>

<p>I’d have to disagree with some of the advice here. No matter how good the private school, a kid is not going to Princeton with B’s from it. </p>

<p>Many kids who were the best student at their home school will be B and C students at top private schools. everyone can’t be top of class.</p>

<p>I think a parent has to think through their educational goals, how the child reacts to no longer being at the top and where the family goals can best be met.</p>

<p>You can get into some top LAC’s with B’s from BS! (My son an example). You really do need to look at the teacher comments, and speak with the teachers. Could be this is your son’s best effort. As everyone has said, the academics are much more rigorous and the grading is much less lenient. An “A” is a rare thing.</p>

<p>An “A” should be rare thing. Getting all As means one is good at everything, when one is clearly not. We are good at are strengths, what makes us strong is doing our best in our weaknesses, and that should mean no more than half As and half Bs. America’s education has it all skewed.</p>

<p>We are in the same situation like Plasmodel. Sophomore is his first year at BS, not good grade so far. All the teachers said he’s “rely on his smart”, he forgot to hand in some home works and only study before test. I’m so tired about calling every night, remind him home work and study. I even consider about switch him back to home high school but not sure if this is a good idea. The new contract for next year is coming this week, don’t know what to do…</p>

<p>Our experience is that top grades are expected from top colleges. My daughter got only a handful of Bs-B+'s at Choate (came in as sophmore from local school) varsity two sport athlete, all-league in one sport, good SATs and recomendations, but could not get into Dartmouth, Williams or Middlebury (accepted Hamilton, Conn College and others) The education is fine and she is very satisfied with her current college, but the expectation the BS=Ivies was not born out in our experience. I would have as honest a talk as I could with child and explain the harsh realities of grades, finances, responsibility,study habits etc. Best of luck, this is a tough decision. Schools provide great education but they are not the only keys to success. Daughter 2 is day student at local school where we can assist her study habits, just as smart as daughter 1, but all kids are different.</p>

<p>Was she a recruited athlete in either sport? Curious because you can definitely gain admission to a top LAC or Ivy with “a handful of B’s” if this is the case. I know of two boys off-hand who went to Dartmouth and Harvard as recruited atheltes with a 3.5 and 3.6. Two to NESCAC’s with low 3.0’s (again recruited athletes). These of course are intelligent kids…lower GPA’s accepted because of the school’s profile combined with athletics, I imagine. My son currently holds a 3.45 GPA. He will be a recruited athlete and they are trying to steer him toward NESCAC’s and Dartmouth. He is not so sure he is interested in D and he definitely does not want NESCAC. They tell me he will be fine academically as he fits the profile of others accepted from the school.</p>

<p>To the OP: If son is getting mostly B’s and a C, I also agree that an Ivy admission is unlikely. However, if it is study habits that is causing this, perhaps a talk with the child and his advisor to make sure he is making the best of his time and really cracking down. He might not be used to the sheer amount of studying and hw he has to do compared to his public hs. Maybe he can turn it all around and get mostly A’s. If not, don’t be unhappy. All you can ask for is his best effort and accept it. Not everyone can be a 4.0 (or 3.5 in a high-end prep) student!</p>

<p>It seems some people think their children would have gotten into their dream college if only they had stayed in the public school. It simply is not true, no more true than Exeter=Harvard. Some people also do not realize how much being a recruited athlete changes things. Be careful about throwing GPAs around because the grading varies so much even among the schools discussed on this board and they don’t even all use the typical grades. Some schools offer different levels of courses in many subjects and others do not. At some schools, getting half As and half Bs would put you in pretty rare company. Focus on your student’s learning.</p>

<p>BS>IVY pipeline only exists for athletes. If you drill down through naviance data, you may find that BS may actually be a disadvantage in select college admissions. </p>

<p>But - BS education is great for many other reasons.</p>

<p>We can’t include athletes in this conversation, admissions standards are lowered considerably. I believe a top prep school greatly helps with admission to colleges outside of the top 15 all the kids seem to want, but hurts in that group.</p>

<p>40% plus of every ivy class is comprised of recruited athletes, URMs, legacies and development candidates. Top prep schools have way more than their share of top students from each of these groups.</p>

<p>Goalidad.
My oldest goes to Lake Woebegone Public HS. Large class sizes, over a thousand in her class - BUT more kids go to IVYs and the military academies than at Exeter or Andover or Deerfield (not %, but total #).
Saying that Lake Woebegone Public HS is not as “hard” as “top private” is not always the case. At home, Mom and Dad watch and control weekend partying, etc. Not so at “top private”. As some of the privates lower class have mandatory study hall, but not all.</p>

<p>While odds are you are correct - just as likely that child is now having fun and has the “freshman college syndrome” of freedom</p>

<p>Looks like I’ve taken a few rebuttals here, probably deserved, as I wasn’t entirely clear about my premise.</p>

<p>When I talked about Lake Woebegone HS, I was referring to a place where “A’s” are given out like candy - without regard to the rigor of the course. It could be a terrific public or a mediocre public. A high school with 20 or more vals (plenty of CC threads about that) doesn’t exactly allow the selective schools to truly identify the best from the rest. </p>

<p>In the case of a mediocre HS it is particularly difficult to sort out the 4.0s except by test scores. </p>

<p>Meanwhile, back at the top BS where OP’s kid was getting “mediocre” grades (B’s and a C+), that kid may very well be in the top half of his class believe it or not, as many of them have very difficult grading curves. </p>

<p>And I probably was also unclear about “top” schools means. I’m not talking Ivy League here, but probably more along the line of Tier 1 schools (USNWR ranking). Most Tier 1 schools are very familiar with the top boarding schools’ product, have a respect for their placement personnel, and know that these kids are ready (and if the recommendations support it) and probably will be successful at their school. I’ll agree with others though that the Princeton dream is probably unlikely (absent an athletic, URM, or legacy hook).</p>

<p>I’m not sure the Tier 1 schools can have such confidence in most publics where grade inflation is rampant. And that is a big problem at Lake Woebegone HS.</p>

<p>Looking back though, I probably deserved every brick thrown. Not one of my better soap box speeches.</p>

<p>However, I think we all agree that the OP needs to step back and look for other clues to determine if their son is under performing.</p>

<p>Here’s the problem, at Exeter et al, most kids feel like failures if they don’t make it into a top 10 school.</p>

<p>Toadstool, the pipeline also workes for legacies and URMs.</p>

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<p>Agree 100%</p>

<p>Sometimes I wonder about that culture…</p>

<p>Well I think most if not all top tier schools have many kids who feel that way. Not so sure if it’s a bad culture in general…in many ways it is…in many ways it isn’t.</p>