During this time of year CC has many threads from students coping with the rejection of not getting into their top choice. There are also many threads of students grappling with the cost of education.
Is it worse to be rejected and to feel you were somehow unworthy or feel a personal slight? Or is it worse to know that all your hard work paid off to get into your dream school only to find out the cost was too high and you would not be attending? Would bragging rights compensate for you not being unable to attend?
Both are effectively equivalent outcomes…
For me, I think it’s getting rejected- applying to colleges is like asking for validation in a way, and being rejected always hurts, even if its from a school I didn’t reeeaally want to go to… Maybe because I am super lucky and from a decently affluent area, I don’t worry about money as much though.
Rejected is worse. You can always do the albatross like burden of taking out student debt you will repay for 20 years with an acceptance. That’s a bad choice. But a rejection gives you no choice at all.
But for some, that kind of choice can be a trap, leading to the situation of huge debt, no money, and no degree, due to being forced to drop out because one ran out of money and borrowing capacity.
That’s why it “pays” to run NPCs as an integral part of college applications. At least you don’t have to deal with unmanageable surprises…
D was rejected from her first choice school 2 years ago. Her brother was just accepted to the law school at the same university, but so far hasn’t been offered any money. Rejection is worse.
As an adult, looking back 40 years - it was way worse to be accepted and not be able to attend than to be rejected. That’s why I refused to allow my kids to apply to any schools that I couldn’t completely cover and which is why they all are attending or have attended SUNY or CUNY schools. I can still feel the empty ache in my heart as I had to tell all of my friends and my GC that I wasn’t going to be able to attend any of the wonderful schools I got into. When I applied to law school, I was rejected from a few, but I just chalked it up and moved on.
haha… both suck. I applied to a military academy and got my nom, got a letter of assurance as long as my medical records were completed, and then heard back from the med board only to discover-
I was rejected because my vision was too bad.
I felt like I had wasted so much time and effort into the tens of essays, interviews, stress… when I should’ve viewed the vision reqs beforehand. I felt hopeless for weeks and had a few breakdowns about how nothing I did mattered and how worthless I was… I’m slowly recovering, but overall college process still has me in the dumps rn…
That’s what I get for reading in bed with a flashlight/on my phone for so many years I suppose… :’)
*although I would choose getting in and not being able to afford it. I hate to brag and only berate myself more for not trying hard enough to be competitive for scholarships/working more jobs to save $
From experience (college sophomore), accepted but too expensive. I applied to about five “reach” schools and was rejected from all of them. I’d imagined myself at each one and I cried about it that night when the decisions flooded in. But getting into a school that I didn’t realize I loved and not being able to pay for it SUCKED. That stuck with me so long that I actually wound up transferring there the next year. I didn’t even consider transfer applications to other schools, including the ones I’d gotten rejected from (not saying that I was too good for them because that’s definitely not the case, but once I got over the rejection, I easily lost desire for them).
Also, it really sucks when you didn’t do everything possible from the very beginning to get affordable tuition, in retrospect. I was so focused on the other colleges that I didn’t even give myself a chance at an EA full tuition scholarship. Talk about bad planning!