<p>My friend's uncle who works at Inter really wants me to apply for this summer internship. I used to be very much into computer science and network administration type things in high school, but once I got to college I lost interest and started studying math. I really like upper level abstract math like analysis and topology, and might be interested in pursuing a phd in math.</p>
<p>Anyway, without really thinking about this I started applying. I wrote up a resume, and even had him help me with it. Now though, I'm just really starting to worry about whether or not I'm doing this for the right reason. I really have no interest in this stuff anymore and am purely motivated by money at this point. So, I'm worried about being miserably this summer. I'm also scared that they will hire me and I won't actually know this stuff as well as it appears I do. </p>
<p>My other option before applying for this internship was to take summer classes, I had even registered for the classes and initially declined his offer for the internship, but what happened was that the local college I was going to take the classes at changed their summer schedule. I was going to sign up for 2 classes on different days, but they ended up making them both on the same days at the same times. Its really more of an all or nothing deal for me.</p>
<p>I recently found out however, that I can take those two classes at my home institution by doing a directed study this summer. My school offers summer classes, but the classes i'm interested in taking aren't being offered this summer. That's why they allow people to do directed studies. </p>
<p>If I don't end up doing this internship I could go the directed study route. The two classes would make it possible for me to minor in physics which I am interested in doing. I would also be able to use this summer to get a head start on writing an honors thesis in math. The only problem with this route is that it costs money. Directed study credit for the summer is about $1000 for each class. I would do either 2 or 3. Its still cheaper than the two classes I had originally registered for at the other school which were $3000 each. </p>
<p>The other problem with the internship is that I have to find housing. I already have an apartment at school that I will be living in next year, but my lease starts this summer, so regardless of whether I live there over the summer or not I have to pay rent. I'm also not allowed to sublet. Some of my roommates and friends will also be around this summer and I really wanted to be at school with them. On the other hand, the internship is in New Jersey not far from NYC, so I don't expect housing to be cheap. I think being near the city would be fun though, and I have friends from school that live in NYC that I could visit.</p>
<p>Everyone else I have talked to about this keeps telling me to go for the internship. They say it will be a good resume builder. I just don't see it as being as worth it, because of where I want to go in the next few years. I am really starting to seriously consider grad school for math. </p>
<p>I just don't know what to do because I already got the ball rolling on the internship. I submitted my resume today. I don't know how to tell him that I just don't really feel comfortable and I also feel bad for wasting his time. I almost feel like self sabotaging myself because I have to interview. I told him that I am not really as familiar with this stuff as I used to be and he said I should review because they are really going to check if I know my stuff or not. </p>
<p>I think the problem is that he is a little pushy about this and I am just so on the fence about it. I talked to my mom and she just said to do whatever I want. She thinks it would be a good experience, but she didn't pick one over the other.</p>