<p>I was surprised when DS wanted to apply to an Ivy. He had never had any interest in them. Got something in the mail and went to their website and liked what he saw. I truly thought he’d be at our state “public ivy”. He visited and fell in love. I was happily surprised when he got in (not because he wasn’t a great student with great stats–but because of the small percentage of acceptances). It was the only ivy he applied to (since it wasn’t his focus in the first place). He’s been happy there and it’s really a great fit for him–so glad he found it!</p>
<p>My DS is serially monogamous. He loves one with all his heart and then he loves another. He forgets about some but not all of his loves. He will be applying to his current love (since last December!) and his first love for sure, plus maybe a few more recent flirtations. And a backup, of course.</p>
<p>@bookworm Your comment about the House system caught my attention. I’m also interested in a House system, so could you let me know about the school you are referring?</p>
<p>My D put her list together with her college counselor and I was very pleased with it. Very geographically diverse list with 11 schools spanning Massachusetts to Texas. I did most of the visits with her and I have to say that with the exception of one school, I could see her at all of them. She is not helping matters much as she likes all of them as well. So I guess we just accept that she has a long list and try to whittle it down after the first round of apps go in. There is one school that keeps coming on and off the list, which is kind of driving me crazy. I think it should stay on.</p>
<p>I was not surprised. My son has shown a propensity for liberal arts, resisting my urging to be a petroleum engineer, or a data quant, or something terribly left-brained. I’m trilled for him!</p>
<p>I was really surprised when D decided to go off by herself to a school across the country. She was part of a very close group of friends who had been inseparable since elementary school, and she never did anything without her posse. Plus she had a boyfriend who she’d been dating since middle school. Her girlfriends all went together to the State flagship (as planned since 5th grade), and boyfriend stayed home, so we were pretty amazed by her decision to fly the coop. She’s still close with the girls, but the boyfriend has (thankfully) been replaced. </p>
<p>I wasn’t surprised by S’s choice. He talked about attending his school for years. Admittedly, I didn’t think it was the ideal fit for him and tried in vain to get him to expand his horizons. In the end, it worked out fine. </p>
<p>D’s list changed entirely between sophomore year and the fall of senior year. It was always composed of small LACs, which didn’t surprise me in the least. I was surprised, however, when her listed shifted from liberal northeast LACs to more conservative southern LACs. I doubted her first choice until we visited the school. Then I “got it” and could really see her there. So far, so good! </p>
<p>I appreciate the insights about first-generation kids–their parents would obviously have no point of reference, nor have any context for the differences in certain types of schools.</p>
<p>My D is currently fixated on a school that I wouldn’t probably pick for her, but she has made up her mind that she likes it (and I am not surprised that she does). We haven’t been there when students are around so I am hoping another visit will help her confirm her feelings or lead her to move on to other choices.</p>
<p>No surprises for us as we were very involved in the process and it was a constant source of discussion at our dinner table for many months.
I do regret some of my fears (financial) that I kept to present at times.
We visited 21 colleges, our daughter applied to 15 and she was very fortunate in that she had an excellent range of choices.
I believe a surprise for her was her unwillingness to attend four schools she had applied to because of their distance from home. So even after all the research things were still evolving after applications were submitted.</p>
<p>I’m more curious about whether you (parent) thought that your kid would pick a small LAC and went to a big public uni instead, or vice versa. Or whether your kid prioritized things unexpectedly - location over sports offered, or something like that.</p>
<p>My son grew up in the shadow of Amherst College (where Dad is an alum) and attended many of the sports events there since he was in his infant carrier. So he is very familiar with the NESCAC colleges (Amherst, Bowdoin, Williams, etc. … mostly very selective New England LAC’s or small universities). While I never really expected him to land at Amherst down the road, I guess I figured that he’d pick one of the others as a top choice. My crystal ball was showing Tufts or Wesleyan early on. But, instead, my son is insistent on warm weather. He also wants a larger university and one that doesn’t put all its eggs in the liberal arts basket. So Mom was 0 for 3. But–as I said earlier–I get his reasoning (and some of it was probably born right at our dinner table where there have been plenty of rants about Massachusetts winter weather and about which college majors do–or don’t–actually lead to jobs after graduation and not just to more school).</p>
<p>My S had a fixation on one very good school going back to elementary school. It was our first college visit when he was a HS Sophomore, with the idea to start to get him in the college application frame of mind. Up through compiling a list and and deciding on his “wants” for a school, that place was a baseline frame of reference. This basically was a southeastern school with big spirit, and a decent Mechanical Engineering program and FSAE extracurricular activity. His HS guidance counselor was useless, pushing nothing but LAC’s. :(( So I researched, my kid researched, and we came up with our own list of reaches, matches and safeties, 8 in all. In the end, it worked out close to figured: not accepted at two of the reaches, accepted, but with an alternate major at the baseline school which statistically for ME was a reach, and accepted at the other 5, of which one was a state flagship at the far end of his geography, that stats-wise was a low match but hit all the program wants, and if he makes it through will have all the street cred of the reach school grads. This place is sorta not on the radar of kids from the northeast, and it was clear his app was looked at holistically and they wanted him. Three week turnaround from submitting to an acceptance letter. He was surprised at the early acceptance, very pleasantly overwhelmed by the place at our visit made after the acceptance, but had his heart still set on the highest reach. That obviously didn’t work out and this opportunity was too good to pass up. So that’s where he’s at, and so far so good. </p>
<p>D is a HS Junior, so we get to do this all over again now with her. She doesn’t have as much of a set career focus as her older brother, ideally wanting to be a vet but also not thrilled with 7-8 years of school, and I’m not excited about living through her trying to get accepted at one 5 years from now. In any case, her major will be something pre-vet, pre-med, pre-something health sciences. She got dragged along on many of her brother’s college visits, and has spent several years at a summer camp held on the campus of a local LAC in addition to week-long sports tournaments held at huge state U’s. That has given her the idea that she wants a place medium-large, not small nor huge either, and doesn’t like snow and cold so she’s probably headed south too. We’ll use the same strategy with her as got used on her brother. Her probable major opens up some more possibilities, as do her stats with a higher GPA, NHS, etc.</p>
<p>Sally, my daughter also had a warm weather criteria. Our New England girl applied to schools west of the Mississippi River and south of the Mason-Dixon Line.</p>
<p>I should add, one of the first visited we took DS on was to Southern Methodist University. DD was maybe in 7th grade. The Meadows Music school was the draw for DS, but at the end of the process, he didn’t apply there. DD, however, loved the place…the beauty of it. For many years, she said SMU was going to be her choice, and there was no need to take her on any college trips…she was all set. Flash forward to 11th grade when we started talking about colleges…she said “I’m NOT going to college in Texas.”</p>
<p>Things change. Heavens, the top choices for both of my kids went back and forth a lot between October when they submitted applications, and May 1 when they made their matriculation decision!</p>
<p>Anything <em>I</em> might have had in my mind in 9th grade was just speculation…not real.</p>
<p>It is true that kids and their preferences change a lot over the years and even over the months within senior year. And there’s probably an overlap between this and the “silliest reasons your child won’t consider a college” thread. Your D’s Texas was my S’s Ohio. But it does usually work out in the end. :)</p>
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<p>Which is why I’ve ask my son to consider ONE college in the Northeast, “just in case.” I really don’t think he will get cold feet about being warm, but I do feel that having a closer option might be wise. However, the top Northeast school on his radar screen right now is a place that is a “Reach” for almost everyone. So the only “just in case” box it ticks is “Just in case I feel like spending another 75 bucks.” ;-)</p>
<p>But I’ve certainly lived long enough to see kids change direction in April. and thus I’m still on the fence about adding a realistic Northeast choice.</p>
<p>We live in a college town home to a large research university.</p>
<p>We did our first visits during junior year…spouse thought that an LAC would interest son the most. I prepared a pros/cons list of LACs vs Research Us. It was decidedly one sided towards LACs and son picked up on that. I went a bit overboard I think but felt I needed to since he had basically grown up on a research U campus. We visited a nearby top 20 LAC and a top 100 LAC. Son hated them both and just couldn’t see himself at a small school. LACs were basically off the list at that point.</p>
<p>Son then said he wanted to go to the pacific northwest/west or someplace warm. He also started to dial in on some prospective majors during Junior year which helped steer us towards certain schools.</p>
<p>Most west coast schools were not affordable for us (Oregon State would have been perfect for him). After spending part of the summer visiting some west schools that were affordable, he liked 3 a bit, enough to apply…none were ‘dream’ schools for son but we wanted him to have choices just in case he decided the west was truly for him. </p>
<p>We then moved on to warm places. Visited a popular southern school, son hated it.</p>
<p>How about schools in urban areas? That sounds cool son says.Visited 2 schools in/near large midwest cities fall of senior year. Just couldn’t see himself in an urban area but applied to 1 anyway just in case…</p>
<p>Visited our land grant university 2 hours from home in a sleepy college town. Son loved it. Huge selection of majors. Super nice laid back kids with enough super nerdy ones to make son happy. Not a huge party scene. Son had all his acceptances in by November and made his choice by Thanksgiving. Chose our Land Grant school.</p>
<p>Loves his majors, attending football and basketball games, student life, etc. I know that was the last place my spouse thought he would attend. </p>
<p>Sally R…we did the same thing…had our kid apply to a safety school in the northeast just in case she changed her mind about going far. It was a HUGE waste of time and money. She originally applied to only three schools and was accepted EA or rolling to all three prior to the new year. That additional application was a waste of $50. She didn’t change her mind. If I had it to do again…I would not have made my kid do this.</p>
<p>We were not surprised by our daughter’s list. I have known for years that she was the women’s college type, and she ended up applying to four of them. I was surprised that she ended up at Wellesley, because it’s very close to home and she’d been saying she wanted to go far away. But she has found her peers and is thriving there.</p>
<p>My son is a senior and is still forming his list, with our help. The schools that keep coming up are very off-the-beaten path schools (Knox, New College, Hope), as well as a few known for their quirks (Hampshire, Reed.) And he has chosen one ultra reachy school (Brown). His dad is pushing for others, too, but I think it’s a waste of application fees, as well as mental energy. He is going to be hard to place, because of his lopsided resume (high scores and GPA, theatre experience) and do-nothing summers, but there is surely a place for late bloomers somewhere.</p>
<p>I can empathize with a lot of people here, and I’m glad to read your stories! My daughter, who’s now a senior, decided early this year that she wanted to attend a school within a 3-hour drive from our home. At first I was disappointed with her lack of adventurousness; then I realized “Great! This will make visiting much easier and narrow the list of choices”. A few months later she changed her mind and wanted schools in warmer weather (we live in the northeast) and also schools that had business programs.</p>
<p>A counselor suggested looking at schools in Pennsylvania so she and my husband visited during April break; they visited schools in North Carolina at the end of August. She liked every place in N.C. and most places in PA. She wants to apply to fewer than ten schools - preferably six to eight - but doesn’t have a strong preference for LAC/research university. She wants to be accessible to a decent-sized city, but doesn’t want to be in a city or rural area. She has the stats to get into most schools (obviously there are ones where even great stats don’t mean much), so this only leaves about thirty of so possibles.</p>
<p>I’d like her to go to a school that has real some real intellectual challenge which she’s never really had before, a good chemistry (he intended major) and other sciences programs, but most of the more rigorous schools don’t have a business program which she insists on despite our urging that undergraduate business courses or a double-major aren’t necessary to go into business, and that she could take those courses over the summer and in an economics department (most have at least two or three courses in accounting, organizational behavior, etc.).</p>
<p>To make matters even more confusing, she’s also considering Wellesley and Smith even though they they’re in the northeast, don’t have business departments and she’s unsure about an all-womens school - although she likes the idea she’s always had male friends which she may miss. They seem to be exceptions to everything she wants. I thought somewhere like the Webb Institute, which is very rigorous and career-oriented, might be good, but she says she doesn’t want engineering. She will need a good deal of financial aid, so that needs to be taken into consideration.</p>
<p>Right now she has her two ‘safeties’ set - our state flagship, which I feel is just mediocre even in the Honors college, and a southern flagship offering automatic merit aid. The southern school has a fairly good Honors college and an excellent ‘super-honors’ program, which she’s not interested in although there’s no real reason why she wouldn’t be.</p>
<p>So at this point I feel I’m being driven semi-crazy and need to step back. In some ways I feel that taking a gap year or (somehow) an entire year just to figure out the school issue would be great, but she doesn’t want to do that either. So something will have to give - either one of her ‘requirements’, or the rigorous program we’d like.</p>
<p>I’m just venting here and don’t mean to complain - I’m sure everything will work out fine, especially as she already has the two safeties which she just needs to apply to. But I never realized the process would be so confusing and time-intensive. When I went to college I applied to our state universities, got into the ‘best’ one, and went there without even visiting. But I didn’t have the best experience - mostly my fault, but the choice may not have been the best either. So in the long run I just feel thankful that my child has a chance to decide where to go, instead of limiting it from the outset to three or four schools.</p>
<p>I have known enough kids that change their mind for various reasons at the last minute that I do think it’s important to have a nearby safety. I asked my son to apply to one of our two state universities for this reason. I felt like $50-75 was a small price to pay for some piece of mind. One of his good friends who was a National Hispanic Scholar and had many good, affordable opportunities, did change his mind at the last minute and decide that he wanted to attend closer to home. Unexpected medical issues, while rare, may also be another reason to have a closer backup.</p>