<p>I always thought of my son going to our flagship state school, then he applied to 12 with only 1 in state…His #1 school rejected him and now he’s at Yale. He can’t see himself anywhere else now and hopefully it will continue that way</p>
<p>@emenya - You have your mom come talk to me, I’ll set her straight! ;)</p>
<p>Fun topic, @Sally_Rubenstone. For my son, he had a very specific area of study so his list was easily narrowed by having to match a school with a strong Russian program, one where he could get accepted, and affordability. He was a very good student in high school, but not top selectivity level. So there really were not any surprises with him.</p>
<p>My D had virtually limitless options. I think my biggest surprises with her final list were 1) her disdain for most of the Ivies, and 2) in the end that she did decide to apply to my alma mater. She is a very independent, “I like to set my own path” kind of person and so even the appearance of following in Dad’s footsteps was, I would have thought, off the table. But she loved the visit, and then getting the full tuition scholarship was of course a big deal. It worked out great, but if you had asked me when she was a high school junior if she would be at Tulane I would have said there was no chance.</p>
<p>@romanigypsyeyes - You are so correct that first generation students have a very different experience than others. I was the first in my family to go, and had zero help or basis for making a decision. I basically had to read the Barron’s Guide to Colleges, which was the bible back then (remember this was before the Internet), cover to cover to get a feeling for what it was all about. My kids had a very different experience and set of background knowledge when they started looking.</p>
<p>(I’m not a parent, so excuse me for chiming in) I am a current applicant who also applied to college last year - I’m first generation and an only child, so, similar to what @fallenchemist said, I didn’t really have a foundation for making a college list (though, of course, I had the internet, and the privilege of attending a private school with a 100% college attendance rate and a full-time college counsellor). I think I surprised my parents thrice - once when I almost enrolled at BU (I’m from a small farming community, so Boston the thought of me living in Boston terrified them), once when I decided to decline the offer of admission from the only other school I was considering (which we all loved, but it didn’t really suit my interests and was a bit too far from home), and once more when I decided to take a gap year and apply to totally different colleges.</p>
<p>This cycle, though, I think we’re all on the same page. We’re all and application cycle wiser about the process and college in general, so there shouldn’t be many surprises this year. :)</p>
<p>I know this isn’t the question but I cant help offering: some colleges we’ve really liked that meet your S’s criteria are Rice, William and Mary and the Claremont Consortium. My last of 4 is a senior this year and the first 3 ‘discovered’ these schools during research/visits; we loved them all (although my kids have stayed with NESCAC so far). But it sounds like you’re looking for a college closer to home; one idea might be for S to just add a realistic NE school to his Naviance list/Common App dashboard. It wont hurt to have it there, and that way he psychologically leaves that door open until he really has to get the apps in. All my kids left 15~20 possible colleges on the dashboard no matter what cycle or how many colleges they actually applied to, and I think this served to remind them how many options they really had and not get wedded to one dream school or just limit their thinking. You could even visit the ‘just in case’ school ~ maybe try to find one that’s not been discussed around the dinner table all his life ~ that move toward independence may be a partial motivation for the ‘surprising’ list of schools that aren’t on the family radar. </p>
<p>I guess my D’s whole process surprised me. She was a diligent and talented long distance runner, starting in 7th grade. She listened to her coaches and her times were getting faster. She dreamed of running cross country in college and trying for the marathon in the Olympics. So, the summer between 8th and 9th grades, I started researching Big 10 XC times and track and field athletic scholarship/NCAA requirements to make sure we did things right during her high school career.</p>
<p>Then BOOM, she started having major health issues right as her 9th grade XC season was starting. She did run XC all four years of high school and track three of the years, she also had surgery on both lungs during high school. She lettered in varsity for XC and track in 9th grade, then her times plummeted and she was JV all the rest of her high school career.</p>
<p>My husband (D’s dad) went to a continuing education even in New Orleans over Labor Day of D’s junior year of high school, walked Tulane’s campus, came home and told D to apply to Tulane. It had the mild winter’s that her lungs required. She drug her feet and didn’t want to. She wanted to go to an IVY if she couldn’t run in college. H told her it was a free application and to do it to make him happy, he would not argue with her if she chose another school, he would only argue with her if she didn’t at least apply.</p>
<p>She applied, just to shut him up. Tulane was her first acceptance. She received major merit awards from them. (not a full ride, though substantial enough). She decided to not push the send button on a couple of her top choice applications. She is now a senior at Tulane and loves it. It is a big difference from a Big 10 or IVY school. But, she is happy and healthy.</p>
<p>In early HS, DD said she wanted to attend a large research university. I knew it would be a poor match for her learning style and the person she is, so sophomore year, we sent her on a college tour. On her own, she decided that a large school was not for her. Whew!</p>
<p>We attended a number of college fairs and toured others. She concluded that she wanted to attend school in a large city or be very near a large city; I didn’t think that would be such a high priority for her. One school pursued her pretty vigorously, but we finally told them the location wasn’t a match. We both thought that if she did apply, they might throw so much money at her that it would be tough to turn down. I didn’t force her to apply.</p>
<p>DD ended up attending her first choice which is near a city but is not urban so it’s not perfect. She is generally happy because we looked for a good match more than anything. She’s a junior and is spending this semester abroad. Unfortunately, most of her friends are studying abroad in the spring semester, but doing that wasn’t an option for her due to requirements for her major. She wanted to attend a school where she knew nobody and I think she preferred that no one had heard of it!</p>
<p>DD is an only child, and it looks like she plans to settle out there after she graduates. We knew the risk. . . As an older parent, I feel it is very essential that she be independent, but it’s still bittersweet.</p>
<p>Our D is a senior but she has certainly surprised us with her list. From the time she began seriously looking at schools, she thought she’d want a co-op program so I was 99% sure she’d be going to Northeastern. It seemed the perfect fit - had a campus, access to a city, gave merit aid, and a great co-op program. </p>
<p>Well, the two biggest co-op schools - GA Tech and Northeastern - she outright decided against after visiting. That was our first surprise in the college admissions game. As for Drexel, the co-op school in our own backyard, she likes that one just fine (and no question, it had the best presentation of all the co-op schools we’ve seen) except she doesn’t like its campus in West Philadelphia. Drexel is the only co-op school to which she’ll be applying. And she’s only applying there as a safety - it’s unlikely she’ll attend, but for now she’s keeping it on the table, if barely.</p>
<p>What has surprised us the most is that my D hasn’t actually liked most of the really prestigious schools she’s visited with friends. She finds a lot of them “too angst-y” (Northeastern, Brown, and Penn), or “too stressful” (Harvard, Yale, Tufts, Johns Hopkins) and/or “too arrogant” (pretty much all the Ivies). We’re setting the annual college budget limit well under 60k but her lack of love for the Ivies is not a case of sour grapes - there are plenty of expensive schools she likes just fine. Going from what we’ve found that she does like, it would seem that Notre Dame would be high on her list, but she road tripped there with another family and she just couldn’t get into the midwestern vibe of the place. That’s fine with us, as merit money at ND is basically a lottery ticket. In fact, all midwestern (including Ohio) schools are off the table. Turns out, our D likes to see lots of old trees and hills. </p>
<p>The other thing that I noticed with my daughter is that she pays as much attention to the families on the tours as she does to the tour itself. Parents who were especially involved and opinionated seemed to really tick her off. I think that turned her off to Northeastern as much as all the cigarette smokers did. </p>
<p>We’re not that invested in where she attends school. We want to be able to afford it and we want her to be happy. Beyond that, it’s all on her. </p>
<p>I think everyone should try to have a super close to home, affordable school on their list, just to have it there. I have known several kids who switched at the last minute after some trauma in their senior year - a lifechanging diagnosis of diabetes or epilepsy, for instance. Also, even more common is that something happens with mom or dad. I know three kids whose dad died in the middle of their senior year and after such a horrible loss, the desire to move away from home evaporated. I also know a couple of times where mom or dad was undergoing chemo and the student wanted to be around, just in case. And of course, there are several parents who have lost their jobs and there was absolutely no money to go away anymore. If those kids don’t have a cheap, commutable option (around here, that’s typically Temple), then they end up at community college.</p>
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<p>I am not familiar with Ohio, but many areas of the midwest have a lot of old trees and hills. {Not that you should reconsider her list or anything–just pointing that out.)</p>
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<p>Sadly, I too know several families who have faced situations just like this–and the kids made the same choice, to stay close to home for their surviving parent and siblings.</p>
<p>Hey, the school I eventually picked I didn’t even consider until March of my Senior Year of HS. Stuff happens. </p>
<p>Interesting Sally305.</p>
<p>What surprised us about our son, now a senior, is how malleable he is with regard to the list and input from counselors and admissions officers. If his counselor says, “probably be deferred here,” he says “okay, no problem” and immediately substitutes it for something in the 100% range on Naviance". Two years ago, we worried that he would be intractable. Now we find ourselves urging him to consider reaches. He has no location, size or proximity to home preferences. Only sure thing is what he wants to major in.</p>
<p>Sally, I had pictured an LAC. That is not what my daughter pictured! Also, her number 1 priority was warm weather. She is a happy senior at a medium sized research university that couldn’t be in a colder location!</p>
<p>The most surprising thing about my son’s decision was that the two finalists were both schools I suggested he add to his list. Based on his track record of listening to my opinions, I would have expected them to go immediately into the trash heap.</p>
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<p>It doesn’t matter how beautiful the Midwest is. I know there are some lovely places in Ohio and I would love for her to consider a few schools who would probably give her great merit and are very strong in her EC. But our D has an irrational dislike of the Midwest, Ohio and Indiana in particular. If she didn’t already have some good solid fits on her school list, I might push the Ohio schools more, but as it is it’s not worth the battle.</p>
<p>@halfemptypocket, what a shame, Ohio schools like Denison, Kenyon, etc. are in really pretty (hilly and many trees!) areas and some offer very nice merit aid. Central and Southern Ohio - have more to offer in terms of terrain than Northern Ohio - which would have terrain more like Notre Dame - flat and more flat!!! </p>
<p>We are absolutely shocked at our senior’s college choices and his reasoning, couldn’t have seen this coming in a million years, but it’s what he wants so we’re supporting him with our jaws on the ground. Won’t know for several years how it works out for him.</p>
<p>D1 agreed to apply to some of our excellent IS schools, and then put together a list that included both well known and relatively obscure schools. We went on some visits and she started coming up with rules about what she wanted and didn’t want. Then her mother started working on her, and she is now also applying to some schools that she had previously told me she was rejecting outright (and not applying to some schools that she was very interested in a year ago).</p>
<p>I guess we won’t really know the final list until January 1, 2015. 
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<p>The list isn’t final yet but I’m already surprised she liked some I insisted on her seeing. Originally she said she’d only consider large schools in large NE cities. The list now includes two midwestern LAcs (in hilly, tree filled Ohio!) and two out-in-the-boonies-of New England LACs, and some that reflect her original preferences.</p>
<p>I am a little surprised that my S (senior) is so relaxed about all of it. He’s always been super-easy going but most kids seem to be stressed out by the whole process. He put a list of schools together, visited as many as we could. A few got knocked off (mostly really small and/or too isolated) but he’s happy with the remaining list and said he’d be fine at any of them. He’s fully confident he’ll get in somewhere and have choices - I’m the one looking at his test scores and grades and saying really?! Part of me would like him to have a favorite or two, but I suppose this way he won’t be too upset if doesn’t get into his top choice. You here stories about kids being crushed not getting into their dream school </p>