<p>We did a lot of talking and looking very early in the process. Both DDs knew they needed to work on the standardized test scores for the automatic scholarship amounts in our state. One got the Presidential scholarship with the last testing accepted. Both had their career fields chosen - still fine tuning a bit, but taking advantage of opportunities at their schools. So for us, the test prep and testing was more of the anxiety.One went to the largest/flagship school - that does take a little more involvement, lots to learn so you don’t miss the boat on anything. They both got great scholarships at their chosen school - they both are going to their first choice. We have a very good local university, but we had the funds for them to be away at their schools - plus their school offers a better education and opportunities in their fields.</p>
<p>I have a son and daughter back to back that have lived on both the East and West Coasts. They know enough not to factor in weather in a 4 year decision where housing, food, proximity to classes is all done for them. They also knew enough to look at FIT and not rankings. My son went from small LAC to good business programs to wanted big big school and his applications reflected that variety. The randomness of acceptance and wait lists was confounding. In the end, after touring accepted student days at Villanova, Syracuse, Oregon, Northeastern, and Fordham my son chose the school I forced him to visit: Fordham. He got merit aid and he initially thought because he did not pay an application fee it was not as strong an academic school. It was truly his last application and he only visited so he could do a night in NYC. He was so STUNNED when we turned into campus and this gorgeous green space with stone and brick and ivy was nestled in NYC. This was a kid that would not apply to BC or Holy Cross or NYU as an “economics major” because the business school was more difficult to get into. He wanted to do business and that is how he applied. After touring the other schools and then seeing the traditions, green space and astounding new business school with the scrolling updates of upcoming speakers from Pepsi. NY Times, Advertising. Entrepreneurs, right in NYC his mind was made up quickly. The last application was the choice. Since then he as attended class lectures at the Met, the Times. Adobe, and been on a quest for best pizza in NY. Already done several internships in semester and is now studying abroad. The best surprise for my son is how many “really smart” kids chose Fordham ranked in the 50s over schools ranked much lower. These Go getters love the combination of D1 sports ( traditionally horrible but now HOT), access to the city. weekend events, and school year internships. It is a confident group of achievers that are not cookie cutter kids and hence tremendous leaders. As a final note we forced our kids to apply to one school within a 50 mile radius in the event of unforeseen family circumstances. That is a realistic request for all families. My daughter is at a large flagship state university or total opposite of my son. Perfect fit for her…Fit, fit, Fit. Thriving, growing confidence and life experience that suits your child is the best launching pad. </p>
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<p>No, it’s not. This is why I said earlier that there is probably a lot of overlap between this thread and the one about “stupidest reasons my child won’t look at a college” (which is hilarious, by the way, in case you haven’t read it). One of my son’s non-negotiables was pretty darn stupid–no colonial architecture. That ruled out many schools on the east coast and several in the midwest as well.</p>
<p>There are just too many schools for everything to be on the table. Having a way to narrow down the list even a little is a good thing.</p>
<p>Few suprises here. The kid ended up at a school that had been high on the list since eighth grade. It’s an excellent fit, and so far the kid is happy and engaged. The biggest surprise was that a school originally intended as a safety remained in the running until the very end.</p>
<p>My daughter’s first choice was UC Berkeley. UC Santa Cruz was her next one.We knew that she would get financial aid if she stayed in California. She was accepted to all the UCs but I didn’t think there was a chance in hell that she would be accepted to the top public university in the country. She was valedictorian at her high school in a small rural town, had 4 AP classes, 4.7 GPA but didn’t do too well on her SATs. I told her she would be playing with the big boys, the smartest students from all over the world, but she still wanted in. When she got an email from Cal with plane tickets to go up and visit the campus I was shocked and so was she. They WANTED her! She immediately fell in love with the campus and the Bay Area. (Thanks to Cal Grant, Pell Grant and Berkeley scholarships her student loan amount is very very small.) But what got her in was her application essay. Berkeley looks for things other than good grades, they look at all the person has to offer. Her first semester was tough, real tough as she quickly found out that all the students were valedictorians. She got her first C ever and almost quit. But she took summer courses and her grades gradually went back up. She graduated with honors. Her degree is in Molecular Plant Genetics/Biology. She is now doing an internship in another country for her field work experience before she goes on to grad school.</p>
<p>Sally, does your son have a projected major yet? That might limit the choice of schools if the choice is specialized enough. My son, for example, wanted to go to a film school, so that somewhat limited the universe of schools to look at. Our financial situation also cut many of those schools from the list. It all came down to visits and “fit.” He loved where he ended up (one he visited, his choice was made) and it was a financial safety for us as well since it was generous with merit scholarships.</p>
<p>A surprise? When he was in middle school, astrophysics was the top major for him and I had vision of Rice dancing in my head. But once he discovered film, that was it.</p>
<p>digmedia, my son is already a junior in college. And he changed his major three times in the first year and a half. ;)</p>
<p>Nice story - especially the part about first year and a ‘C.’ I’m experiencing that now - going for big fish in small pond to small fish in a big pond of really smart fish. Perseverance seems to be the key. </p>
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<p>My son is currently thinking about a major in film studies, acting, advertising, public relations, or possibly general business. So he’s leaning away from colleges that are too liberal-arts oriented, but his interests aren’t specific enough (or definite enough) for him to hone in on universities with exceptional programs in a particular field. Although his college list is not what I would have envisioned three or four years ago, I do feel he’s done a good job of compiling it and of justifying why some contenders have stayed on it and others haven’t. </p>
<p>My parents were fairly surprised by my college list, I think. I’m a Midwesterner, and I was looking both to my own region and–here was the surprise–eastward. Their assumption was that I would attend the state flagship or perhaps a local faith-based college, but I had my sights on some top LACs, a smattering of small universities, and STEM-centric institutions. I chose one of the LACs; the massive state university was not for me, thank you! Off I went to New England, major and minor basically settled in my mind.</p>
<p>The tables were turned the following year. I was stunned to find that I didn’t like the LAC I had selected. I made some wonderful friends, pushed myself beyond my comfort zone, and enjoyed studying subjects that I had once only dreamed about. It turned out, however, that the institution was too intellectually narrow in my field of choice, and the social experience was not a fit for me. I came home… and enrolled at the state flagship. I enjoyed the freedom to have a differing opinion in the classroom, kept my original major but had to drop the planned minor, and graduated with a few accolades this past May. Now, I’m here for grad school. </p>
<p>The road to college graduation is full of surprises, and parents and students alike are guaranteed to run into their fair share along the way. I’ve certainly learned to expect the unexpected and to keep an open mind.</p>
<p>Ah, sorry! Since I had recently posted I though digmedia was talking to me. I should have caught the uppercase “S.”</p>
<p>@Woandering Maybe you’ve received a response already that I simply overlooked, in which case my bad, but I assume bookworm was talking about CalTech. There’s a House system there afaik, and it doesn’t get much love in that there are several criticisms on these forums regarding the sexism, partying/frat culture, medical (esp. regarding mental health) inadequacies, etc. So it fits both of bookworm’s criteria.</p>
<p>@shinchang Could you explain why the criticism? A quick wikipedia search reveals that Cal Tech’s house system is pretty much what I want, and Cal Tech almost fits my criteria of a good fit uni.</p>
<p>Woandering, I’ll PM you, as I don’t wish to derail this thread. (Or start a new thread.) Sally R’s son is definitely not looking for a Caltech. Digmedia and others have far more valuable advice to offer her.</p>
<p>I was really surprised that several of the schools on my daughter’s college list are women’s colleges! I went to a women’s college but growing up, my kids mostly remarked upon it as kind of strange (what did you do on weekends? How did you meet boys?). </p>
<p>It’s great to see that my daughter has actually assimilated a lot of my feminist values and perhaps been inspired by my attempts to keep both career and family humming along, My husband and I have made a lot of sacrifices over the years to create a situation where we both have fulfilling careers – including my leaving the family for several months to pursue research abroad while my husband held down things on the home front and my holding things together when he deployed with the military when they were in grade school. It’s kind of exciting to realize that all those years they were watching and learning and that the things that we valued and worked towards actually had an impact on them as well. </p>
<p>“Did your child make colleges choices that surprised you? If so, how has it worked out?”
-My D. has used my list, the list that I have compiled for her after 2 years of research. It has worked wonderfully, she is still saying that her UG was the best match for her. It has worked so well, that she asked me to compile the list of Med. Schools (I knew her criteria). That has also worked well so far. But we need to see how residency application will go. She also requested my help with this, but she was driving this one and this one is by far is the mnost difficult, really stressful (the other 2 were more on a fun side) and totally out of her control which is the most frustrating part as she likes to be on time with everything, but most of this is not in her control at all. </p>
<p>My son went through the selective high school application process in eighth grade, so he was in NO mood to discuss ANY “college plans” until the second semester of his junior year. He had no idea what he wanted (aside from replicating the feel of his leafy private school) and at one point asked me if he could “just skip college and become a cop.” I told him I had no issues with his becoming a cop, but he was going to earn a degree before he became one!</p>
<p>His counselor met with him and initially came up with a decent list of schools to consider, which I augmented. In the end, my son relied pretty heavily on my guidance. He thought initially he wanted a small, selective LAC, preferably closer to home than further away, and he wanted a cold climate either in the Midwest or in PA or NY. Decided to consider engineering at my prompting, even though he hated all the “tech” type school we visited. Refused to apply to any New England schools because “everybody” from his high school was desperate to get into one. Refused to apply to any school in the South because he “hates the heat.” In the end, at my request, he did apply early to Alabama for the automatic scholarships and engineering. He also applied to our flagship, Penn State, for engineering. Those were his safeties and it was great to have two in hand so early in the process.</p>
<p>By March of his senior year, after many disappointments and happy surprises, he discovered he’d completely outgrown the small LACs he’d thought he wanted and realized he much preferred the big thriving universities. The “f” word at that point was “flexibility” more so than “fit.” That left him with exactly two choices–the two he’d had in hand his entire senior year! In spite of the distance and heat, he went with the school he just simply liked better, Alabama.</p>
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<p>My husband had a major life-threatening health situation just prior to my son’s junior year, but by senior year, the health issues weren’t as big a concern, and in spite of my nagging, DS refused to apply to Temple–even though he could have qualified for free tuition there! I think he figured he’d just go to the local branch campus of Penn State if, for whatever reason, he needed to be closer to home. Not a strategy I’d recommend!</p>
<p>Not surprised by DD college list, since we built it together. All of her choices were out of state, since she wanted to get the he** out of Texas. I applied significant pressure on her to look at and apply to one instate school, Rice. We went and looked at it one time, when she did an in-person interview. The campus looked too clean and there weren’t nearly enough fliers hanging on poles or graffiti or liveliness. (Where were the students? At 10:30 a.m. on a Saturday morning, where the he*l was everybody!!!) The air conditioning had failed in the orientation hall we were in, and we were hot, and she didn’t like the receptionist, who seemed rude. And it was so hot. Too hot. And did I mention, the receptionist was rude, and beside, she didn’t want to go to a school in Texas, and where were all the students, and the campus was so clean and neat and conservative looking.<br>
She was accepted at all the schools she applied to, went to the accepted student’s event at Rice and called excitedly to say that she loved the school and wanted to attend. Had a fantastic experience. Now at Yale for grad school.
No surprises with younger brother; he only wanted to apply instate. Applied to 4 schools, got in all of them, and happily went off to Rice. He thanks us at least twice a year for having sent him there! :-)</p>
<p>Great story, @anxiousmom! I really wanted my son to look at Tulane and Rice and Vandy and Emory, but, oh no, no schools in the South for him–way too hot and WAY too conservative. Thankfully, most of our kiddos will drop their own narrow-mindedness and prejudices as they mature. One of his old friends from a super-liberal family is a freshman at Davidson. I really credit Quaker education with pushing both these kids to think beyond the stereotypes.</p>
<p>^But also, just because a school is in a conservative state doesn’t mean it is conservative. I wouldn’t consider Tulane or Emory conservative at all. Even public flagships in very conservative states can be pretty liberal (University of Kansas is a good example).</p>