<p>Hi everyone,</p>
<p>Just got off the phone with S, who leaves tomorrow for San Francisco for his first grad school audition. He's got that "small" voice, the one I hear when he's really nervous. I understand that nearly everybody is nervous before an audition. I just wish I had the right words to buoy him. I've heard this voice so many times, and SO wish that he didn't have to suffer this way. I know, I know. My S could have much more to worry about than pre-audition nerves. I know that. And I know it's out of my hands, and I hate that. Just venting tonight, and getting philosophical. And repeating that Nietsche quote: "We have art in order not to die from the truth." </p>
<p>Nice folks at SFCM. He will have fun. (and I know from my own experience…it’s harder when it’s just the ONE kid)</p>
<p>I hope he does well! SF is a great place for young musicians! Lots of opportunities to play.</p>
<p>I know exactly what you mean, onekidmama. When I pick up the phone and it’s my S I always know from the instant I hear his voice how things are going. When I hear a certain ‘tone’, either my heart will sink or I’ll feel a happy dance coming on. It’s difficult to know how to bolster his spirits, or how to cheer him up, or how to help calm the nerves. Sometimes I think they just need to hear our voice or need our listening ears and that is good enough. For undergraduate auditions it seemed a little less full of angst I think (or am I just having selective memory?)–there were more auditions, more flights, more going on so that it seemed time moved pretty quickly. Plus I was along with him for every trip. This time, the stress started earlier–worrying if prescreenings would get completed in time, and now the auditions, spaced further apart–stretching on endlessly. Just seems to be one long wait with stressful auditions scattered throughout the process. I never like to see time fly, but this time around I almost pine for it to be all over with.</p>
<p>Oh gosh, I know about “the voice”, too. </p>
<p>Yes, the “small” voice. I just wish I could hook him up to a bicycle pump and fill him with confidence. I’m glad to hear that SFCM has nice folks, musicamusica. Clarimom, I agree that undergrad was a whole lot less angsty. It really was. Glassharmonica, they do survive, don’t they? I don’t like to rush life, either, but this spring I’m heading for the mountains with husband and dog and it will be so sweet.</p>
<p>Try baking! I am trying to busy myself with preparing some treats for the super bowl. As my son is in his first audition for undergrad as I type, I have been baking longhorn shaped cookies and trying to create burnt orange icing from Halloween orange and black! He went in at 11:27 and I have not heard that he is out yet at 12:08! </p>
<p>Next week I will make a different shaped cookie. </p>
<p>So I guess from your post, I can surmise that it does not get easier . . . </p>
<p>Pray and stay busy?</p>
<p>Good luck, lotstodo!</p>
<p>No, it doesn’t get easier. I remember my mom asking her mom, “When do you stop worrying about your children?” And my grandmother, a very strong, savvy, no-nonsense farmer’s wife who started with nothing, thrived and lived to be 96, said “You never stop worrying about your children.” But perhaps the worry isn’t so intense? We can only hope.</p>
<p>It becomes a different kind of worry. </p>
<p>Ha! NYsaxmom - that’s what I’ve been doing wrong - not enough wine! Do you think they will mind if I am drinking wine at son’s last 2 auditions?</p>