<p>Hello. This is my first post and I am new to this forum. I was wondering if a serious suspension will lower my chances of getting into a good college. I was suspended in my freshmen year in high school for calling a black guy a nigger (I was stupid). I am not a racist and I don't hate black people it's just that I made a very poor choice. I am worried that colleges may think of me as a racist and that I may start another "Virginia Tech" incident. I don't hate black people nor do I have any desires or feelings of killing someone. So, my question is should I be worried about this as if it is going to end my life or could I use this experience (I have learned and grown from this experience, but unfortunately I had to learn it the hard way...) as something I can explain and talk about with colleges? (basically, what will the colleges look at more? The mistake I have made or the changes and improvement I have gained?) Also, what would be better in my case, applying for a good college or a regular college? (since regular colleges don't take as much time to look at each individual as good colleges do, but at the same time, good colleges aren't very fond of people who call black people n*** ... I think, please correct me if I am wrong about anything)
Will a good college actually try and see me as who I am individually at the moment or will they solely judge me by my past actions? For example, if I applied to an Ivy league school, would they reject me right away after seeing that I have been suspended for calling a black guy a n<strong><em>? After all, this country is big on racism and such. What will the colleges look at more? Me as the individual that I truly am or my mistake that I made as a freshmen? Lastly, do you think that colleges will try and go below the surface to see who I truly am and understand that I am not a racist and that I have grown from this experience (will they try and go deeper instead of just looking at the surface)?
I know I should have thought of the consequences before I did something very racist, but I have grown from it and I really don't want to see my whole life go down the drain from a mistake I made as a immature, stupid teenager. I have worked hard in school (started working hard mid-freshmen year) and I don't want to look back at this mistake as the end of my life but as a life-changing experience that I am glad I went through (glad that I was able to learn and go through an experience like this so I don't make a similar mistake later in life [I'm not saying I would have continued calling black people n</em></strong>s if I have never been caught, I am saying that an experience like made me truly realize my future and all that I have worked hard for could be in jeapordy from one stupid mistake]). Once again, (I cannot emphasize this enough) I am not a racist. Thank you and I hope I will get some answers. Also, any inputs you guys would like to share will be appreciated.</p>
<p>^^^ You might consider using a little sensitivity here and not use the “n” word when explaining your faux pas. You use it not once, but four times. In all fairness, I think you might want to continue to work on learning from your past mistake, as you are still making it.</p>
<p>You need to figure out what your transcript says about the incident. If it says “Suspended (2)
days for inappropriate language” then you can cover it up and not mention it again in your app. If it says “Suspended (2) days for using hate speech, specifically the N word” then you need use your essay to explain how you’ve grown.</p>
<p>Perhaps you could write an essay about taking cultural diversity training and how that is important in our society (I am being serious, not facetious).</p>
<p>Also glad to see <em>almost all</em> of the “n” words were replaced with ****s in the OP :)</p>
<p>^ stop being annoying. His ideal strategy is to not mention it, as long as the transcript doesn’t.</p>
<p>choklitrain:
If you read the OP, it said
There are ways to turn this lemon into lemonade, if he/she needs to. He/she recognized that writing about this might, in come circumstances, and in the appropriate fashion, be helpful. Not everyone wants to sweep their mistakes under the rug. However, the fact that he/she continued to use the word multiple times in the OP (most of which have now been edited) is evidence that there is still growth to be done, and also, in todays world, diversity/sensitivity training is a big part of the corporate culture, and th OP can write an essay on why that is important. Sorry if you find reality “annoying”.</p>
<p>Yes, your suspension will reduce your chances of being accepted into a good private college. All applications that I’ve seen ask students and their GCs whether the student has been expelled or suspended. The student and GC have to explain the circumstances of any expulsions or suspensions. Colleges don’t take kindly to students with documented racist actions.</p>
<p>Your suspension/expulsion probably won’t matter that much to in state publics as long as your in state public isn’t U Va., which takes character very seriously. Most publics make decisions overwhelmingly based on students’ state of residence and stats.</p>
<p>" am saying that an experience like made me truly realize my future and all that I have worked hard for could be in jeapordy from one stupid mistak"</p>
<p>You will be asked to explain your suspension on college apps and possibly in interviews. You’ll raise your admission chances by indicating that youve learned that it’s inappropriate to use the n word because of the history of racism in this country. Right now, it seems that the impact of the suspension has only been that you have learned that stupid mistakes can hurt you and your options. What about the impact of your actions on other people such as the person whom you called the n word?</p>
<p>jym, the reality is that the moment the adcom figures out he used the N word as an insult, his chances are drastically reduced. there isn’t an explanation on the planet that could counteract that. don’t talk condescendingly. “sorry if you find reality annoying”…is that seriously how you interact with people?</p>
<p>“Will a good college actually try and see me as who I am individually at the moment …”</p>
<p>Sure. They’ll see an individual who uses the N-word a lot without seeing how offensive that is to other people.</p>
<p>Choklitrain-
The poster came here for advice, and most of us are trying to give it. Name-calling is what he/she is trying not to do. Maybe h/she will learn not to speak the way you are speaking. That would be a good thing.</p>
<p>^ that’s what I considered annoying. pointing out flaws in his post and lecturing him about diversity are not helpful. Don’t tell me how to speak, either. I’m leaving this thread now because I’m not going to enter a petty conflict.</p>
<p>ChoklitRain, sorry if you think the OP should bs his way into a college by convincing them that he actually “learned something” when in fact he is just telling them what they want to hear, or even worse, attempting to act like it never happened. Most people here wish for him to actually learn a lesson and not do offensive things in the future, like, for instance, freely using the n-word throughout his post. If he actually “learned” anything from the experience he would already know that this word is offensive whether verbalized or written. I guess your priorities are just in a different place…</p>
<p>This thread shows how name-calling, whether it be with racial slurs or words like “annoying”, “condescending”, or what have you, really do refect badly on the person saying those things. This is a topic that can be written about, in a creative way, in an essay, though yes, there certainly are risks in doing so. Resolving differences of opinions in appropriate ways, rather than storming out in a huff, is the higher road to take. </p>
<p>As NSM said, the fact that one has a suspension will be asked about on many applications, especially at the smaller schools, and a brief explanation will likely be necessary. Yes, unfortunately it may hurt you (meaning “you” in general), but if you have learned from it, then that is a good thing. </p>
<p>Diversity training IS a big part of corporate and professional life. My H’s company required it, and my state professional organization does too. APA approved graduate programs in psychology require it as well as part of the curriculum.</p>
<p>well said, superlax.</p>
<p>your story is a little vague on exactly what lesson you’ve learned. is it a) to practice restraint in order to avoid saying things that jeopardize your own future well-being, or b) not to demean and dehumanize other people, irrespective of your personal aims and ambitions.</p>
<p>Thanks for all your replies guys. First, I was wondering, how can I check my transcript? Also, from this experience, I have learned a lot of things, not just the fact that one mistake can jeapordize my whole future. I only mentioned one important life lesson I have gained because, to me, this is the most important lesson that I could take away from this experience because I made and still do make poor choices in my life (but because of this experience, I think a lot more of the actions I make). This lesson (not the experience) not only affects my choices and decisions I will make throughout my whole life, but it also led me to make better choices which leads to more thinking before saying something stupid or racist or anything. I know this contradicts the use of the actual “n” word in my post, but we all think differently. If I thought like you guys, I wouldn’t have put the “n” word in my post because you guys think the words in my post are offensive rather than what I am trying to say and I understand that, after all, I was the one that made this mistake and went through this experience (I learned quite a bit about how offensive the word is from talking). Well then, you might wonder if I learned how offensive the word is, why would I use it? I don’t try and avoid racism nor do I try and do racist things, I think it is racist in itself trying to avoid racism or try and be racist so I thought it would be “smarter” to say the actual “n” word (I wasn’t trying to insult anyone or try and make you guys point fingers at me and telling me to learn my lesson, I was thinking that you guys will read the post to understand the point and not the word choice). But, I thank you for telling me not to use the “n” word, since I now know people will still take it offensively even when they understand the context and overall point of my post.</p>
<p>Also I wanted to clear some things up (to those thinking like superlax). I am not trying to act like this event has never happened and that it wasn’t my fault; it was my fault and a very stupid mistake but what I am trying to do is try and make this bad experience as a good experiece and a valuable lesson (after all, problems and mistakes are what we grow from, for me at least). How can I try and act like an event like this has never happened when it still affects me and still and it’s in my head? I don’t think I can never act like this has happened because it impacted me so much; how can I so such thing when I still haven’t completely overcome the experience (I should first forget about this event and think it wasn’t an irrational mistake before I could act like it never happened…)? I am also not trying to telling you guys what you guys want to hear, this is my story and what I truly believe in and it is coming from me and not the audience. You have to realize that an experience like this will either change me drastically or change me in a worse way (taking this experience bitterly and not gaining anything). I am not saying I have learned all that I could from this experience, I still have a lot more to learn and I still think about this event a lot, but I am saying I didn’t take this experience bitterly but instead tried to learn from it and overcome this mistake (still in the process).</p>
<p>And again, I am not a racist and I didn’t think anyone would be insulted by my post containing the “n” word. I didn’t mean to insult anyone because I thought you guys would understand the general point of my post and not the individual words. I will change the words since it has insulted some of you. I hope you guys will continue to input your thoughts and I would like to hear your honest opinions and what you truly believe. Thank you.</p>
<p>EDIT: so that’s what jym626 meant when all the “n” words were changed to n*** (I thought he was being sarcastic seeing as how I didn’t edit it). I was just about the edit it when I saw it has been editted by someone else.</p>
<p>You can check your transcript by asking your guidance counselor. To be honest though, I would just ask straight up if they are going to mention the reason explicitly why you got rejected, because if they did, you’d have to address it. Though to be honest, and I know you don’t want to hear this, but I don’t think any explaining in the world would convince top privates to touch you with a 10 mile pole, if they knew you used that word. That type of behavior is intolerable-aka no excuses. It’s like stealing tests. No one really cares why or when you did it. Even though you may not think it is fair, and to be honest, kids at my school I’m sure have done more reprehensible things than that and are still here, you seriously can’t blame these schools for not taking a chance with you. Though I should use less extreme language, you know you have a 0% chance if you don’t apply, so you might as well do so.</p>
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<p>NSM, I wouldn’t be so sure about that. I remember a certain Republican Senator from Virginia who was er…lets say…forced into an early retirement in large part because of some racist comments. He also happened to be an alum of both UVA’s undergraduate college and law school. From what I recall, this guy was quite the big man on campus and was elected class President to boot. Who knows, OP may want to play up that part of his application for admission?</p>
<p>“NSM, I wouldn’t be so sure about that. I remember a certain Republican Senator from Virginia who was er…lets say…forced into an early retirement in large part because of some racist comments. He also happened to be an alum of both UVA’s undergraduate college and law school. From what I recall, this guy was quite the big man on campus and was elected class President to boot. Who knows, OP may want to play up that part of his application for admission?”</p>
<p>I think that U Va. has changed a great deal since 1964, which ended the legality of racially segregated schools.</p>
<p>It was obviously a joke, it was just funny how someone who is always on the politics forum mentioned UVA in particular to this thread.</p>
<p>HonestOpinions- I was responding more to what ChoklitRain was trying to advise you do. He was attempting to figure out ways in which you would never have to bring up the infraction in front of admission officers. I never was trying to imply that you were attempting to do this, I was only disagreeing with ChoklitRain’s motives.</p>
<p>As for your admissions chances at selective schools, I think you will only know for sure what the impact is when the time comes. The best thing you can do is come clean and explain it (either in an essay, interview or what have you) and hope that the school can see a true growth of character. This may or may not work but if you have truly learned your lesson and have grown from this (I cannot be the judge of that, obviously) I hope it does work out for you.</p>