Take a horse to college?

<p>I hope that delfinium will keep us posted on how things go as they sort this out, in spite of a few questionable responses. </p>

<p>I am appreciate the fact that this thread has provided information and generated discussion, not only about equestrian pursuits, but about how biases, ignorance and assumptions can sometimes get in the way of common courtesy and the generally supportive tone of CC. I was starting to feel like it was “open season” on riders in a way I don’t recall seeing about any other activity here.</p>

<p>I had a horse in hs, practically lived at the barn, no one drove me (rode my bike the 5 miles or so,) and those two years, the responsibility, hard labor, learning to love mud, the absolute need to meet the commitment and the time mgt lessons led to some great life lessons. Those two years began my surge thru hs, too. Many kids work off their lessons costs or other charges. I’m glad to see how many here relate. It’s not all about privilege. Tho it can get costly at the extreme end.</p>

<p>I don’t know if I’m too late to say anything, but if not, I’ll say this: if your daughter realizes that it is too much, something will have already suffered: either her grades, her social life, or the horse.</p>

<p>If she finds she doesn’t have enough time, she won’t realize it until she finds herself saying “I’ll ride the horse instead of study tonight,” or “I can’t skip studying, the horse will have to wait.” Do you get what I’m saying? When you realize you can’t handle something, you’re already in the thick of it. Something has already been pushed to the side that needed your attention when you finally realize you can’t do it all and something needs to change.</p>

<p>I don’t think it’s fair to the horse to make it part of this “experiment” because that’s really what it is. Your daughter is an incoming freshman so she doesn’t know what to expect, and dragging another living thing with her when she doesn’t know what will require her time and how much of it this semester just isn’t fair. </p>

<p>There are a lot of good horses out there, this is not the only one. I understand that she’s growing an attachment but you need to make it clear to her that she doesn’t own the horse, so she can’t keep it forever just because she likes it. And also, about her instructor saying it was good to learning jumping on: You have no idea if the horses the school has will be good for learning jumping or not. Unless the instructor is intimately familiar with all the school’s horses, you really can’t base this decision on the instructor’s opinion, unfortunately. She needs to ask if she can ride the school’s horses outside of lessons and practices. As long as she can, she should leave the horse with its owner to lease out to someone who KNOWS they can care for it, not THINKS they can care for it.</p>

<p>Please think carefully about the horse’s well-being as well. First semester is only a few months. If after she gets used to college she finds she has time for extra riding and still really wants to have her own horse, then I’m sure you can find another good horse, even if it isn’t the same one.</p>

<p>

</p>

<p>That could be said of any hobby / interest, though – I guess the difference here is that the lacrosse stick or violin doesn’t have feelings. (Though fellow lacrosse team members or fellow orchestra members that you might let down do.)</p>

<p>lookingforward I really appreciate your inciteful comments here. When my child applied to college I was a bit worried that admissions departments would look at riders the same way that many here are - as spoiled rich kids. Those of us involved in riding know that there are some of those but for the most part the real story is very different, and committed horse riders develop some real amazing character traits that stay with them thru college and life. Do you or other admissions people checking in have any thoughts on how admissions staff react to riders.
Also coze for us it was an easy decision to give up getting a new car so that our child could explore a sport she loved. And most horse parents I know feel the same way.</p>

<p>Looking forward and sm74 are correct, there are all levels of income for kids that ride. The place my daughter rides has working students that trade labor for lessons right on up to people with multiple very expensive imported horses. Everyone is equal at the barn regardless of income, job title, place of birth, diversity, and everything else, they are all just horse lovers and happy to be there. Good sportsmanship is a great life skill. My daughter only really had two significant ECs, showjumping and playing the cello, she did them because she loved them not because of college resume.</p>

<p>I grew up on a farm and got my horse when I was 10. She cost $150.00 and that was a huge expense for my dad. She was struck by lightning and killed when I was away at college. It was many years before I took riding back up again, but when I moved to Maryland, it was very easy to do. Again, I didn’t have to spend much money. I bought a $400.00 Tennessee Walker for myself and a $500.00 pony (worth her weight in gold) for my D and we went on long trail rides every weekend with friends. She was 10 at the time and it was hard work but lots of fun. She graduated from the pony to a $400.00 4 year old thoroughbred that was drop dead gorgeous but couldn’t pick up a lead change to save her life - because of a prior injury. So I half-leased a horse for her to show. She still had to exercise both. She could never be competitive at the A level because we couldn’t afford that level horse, but she did quite well in pleasure classes and equitation and was asked to show several top level horses when their riders weren’t available and they were in a points race. Up at 4am every Saturday and at the barn every night until well past dark. It’s a lifestyle and, if you live in an area overrun with horses as I do, not a ridiculously expensive one.</p>

<p>I also had a Tennessee Walker- a pleasure horse, not show.</p>

<p>I had no idea this question would generate so much interest. I’m not a regular on College Confidential and don’t know all of the culture and customs, but did get some useful help last year when I posted about a problem with my son. I especially appreciate the feedback from those who have experience with horses. </p>

<p>We’re not what I would consider to be a wealthy family, but still in a high income bracket, thanks to being a two professional earner household. Certainly we’re not in the private jet category. My children have advantages well beyond anything I had as a child. I grew up in a well-educated but relatively low income single parent (divorced) household. When I was a teenager, I would have probably reacted the same way many people here have to this issue, as being something from a completely different world, since I had absolutely no exposure to horses. I can’t remember any of my teenage classmates having their own cars or participating in any high-expense extra-curricular activities. My Mom sacrificed to send me and my siblings to the state U, even though the expenses were very low. I met my husband at the state U, whose widowed Mom sacrificed to send him there. </p>

<p>I think everyone with more income than what is needed to just get by makes choices as to how to spend their money. I’ve always prioritized education. I’ve exposed my kids to a wide variety of activities, some expensive and some not, and let them pick the ones that they wanted to continue in. I don’t care about cars, and buy inexpensive models that I drive until they die. I’m accustomed to co-workers or neighbors being surprised that I’m sending my kids to expensive private colleges, and find the concept of leasing a horse hilarious. Yet, some of them always have high end new cars and go on expensive vacations, or own a vacation home. And lots of kids have private music or voice lessons, or attend expensive special athletic camps, etc. </p>

<p>My daughter has always loved horses, from her first pony ride as a pre-schooler. Bit by bit over the years she dragged me along, step by step, outside of my comfort zone. Each extra step by itself wasn’t so big of a leap until it came to buying a horse. Could she go to horse camp in the summer? Could she take weekly lessons during the school year? Could she compete in horse shows? Could she lease a horse? Could she buy a horse? She gave up other activities (soccer, dance, music), in order to focus on riding. </p>

<p>At first I was very scared of her riding horses, and afraid that she would get hurt. I’m still not overly comfortable interacting with horses myself, but over time I really came to appreciate what a great experience it was for her, and what a wonderful group of peers to have. She was painfully shy as a young girl, and I think the experience with horses helped her to outgrow that. </p>

<p>From research in the last few days, we have learned that there is space at the barn near school, and that the horse’s owner is willing to let the horse move there, on the condition that only my daughter ride her, since he doesn’t want the horse overworked. So, there are no real blocking factors.</p>

<p>We haven’t made our final decision, but are leaning towards letting her take the horse. If we do, we’ll wait until the end of August, a week and a half after my daughter moves to campus to move the horse, since her board at the current barn is paid until then anyway, and she’ll have a little time to get settled on campus first. We’re still trying to figure out what the conditions should be to be able to continue to keep the horse there, in terms of keeping up her grades and if she should contribute financially, etc.</p>

<p>I’ll post again later once we’ve decided. I’m not offended by the negative comments, since I’m used to that in real life. I found the comment about the valet and lady-in-waiting funny, especially since it is so far away from the reality of being a horse owner, where far from being waited upon, we’re the ones shoveling the horse poop.</p>

<p>Have a friend who tried that. Sent the horse (handsome Morgan) to college (U. of Vermont) with DD. DD did fine, but the horse failed Computational Reasoning 110 and was home for good before Christmas.</p>

<p>TheKillerrAnna made some very good points.</p>

<p>

</p>

<p>You make some really great points, but it’s not necessarily true. I had a habit of committing to a lot of different things, but I could tell if it was too much pretty quickly. My grades were great, I still hung out with my friends, and I still went to everything I initially committed to (and I still slept 7-8 hours a night). The only thing that suffered was that I couldn’t nap in the middle of the day and it took away from my lying around and watching TV time. It’s different for everyone, but some people are able to juggle a lot of different things. If it’s not something they’re willing to do next semester, they can cut back, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that any of these things are going to suffer.</p>

<p>I keep thinking of that old joke every time I see this topic pop up on my screen. You know, the one with the punch line:</p>

<p>“but you can’t make it think.”</p>

<p>(Sorry. I have no clue about the real topic. Just had to get that off my chest.)</p>

<p>So if she has only been riding for 3 months, what happens if she loses interest and finds other hobbies when at college? A horse has a lot more complications then a tennis racket, pair of skis or set of golf clubs.</p>

<p>Time2 ~ The OP stated that her D has owned her own horse since she was 12. That horse died in April. They are leasing the horse she has now and wants to take to college with her.</p>

<p>I don’t think it is a good idea. You will be perceived differently from your peers (other than the equestrian team). Keep the horse at home.</p>

<p>You can lead a horse to college but you can’t make him learn.</p>

<p>Just one more thought…what will happen with the horse on college vacations, and next summer?</p>

<p>After reading the Op’s comments, I’d certainly let her take the horse. It sounds like it means a great deal to her daughter. But then I usually have let my kids take the lead on what they need unless they prove that it’s not working. If her grades suffer or it isn’t working out for whatever reason, you can always take him back to his owner. Why not trust that your daughter can handle it? Apparently several students have their horses at this particular college, so rather than being “perceived differently,” she may find a very supportive group of new friends, all doing as she is doing. I don’t understand the thinking of those who feel she should leave her “comfort zone” and merge more with the non-horse people at her new college. No one says that about athletes, who go to school with a ready-made cohort, right in their comfort zone. It’s the same with musicians, actors, or any other focused passion that requires a lot of commitment. Let her be who she is and bring her horse.</p>

<p>Having read this thread the other day, I thought this might be a good place to find some “horse people.” A friend of a friend posted this on Facebook, and is looking for homes for several horses. Do what you will with the information:</p>

<p>the original post came from <a href=“https://www.facebook.com/darlajj[/url]”>https://www.facebook.com/darlajj&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

<p>FREE… Free… Free… Please help!..52 thoroughbred horses need homes. Will go to Sugarcreek this Saturday for slaughter. Gentleman died and his son wants nothing to do with them. Most broodmares are broke and some are in foal weanling, yearlings, 2 yrs and 3 yrs old… most are gelded. FREE and papered. Friend of the deceased is trying to find homes 440-463-4288 Barnesville, OH. Please copy and paste this on your status
Renee Adams Daisy Stevenson</p>