Take a horse to college?

Parents Forum
1

<p>I know, I know, it is the ultimate first world problem.</p>

<p>My daughter has been lobbying me hard to let her take her horse to college with her. She starts as a freshman next week, so it is very late to decide about this. I thought we had decided NO, but the issue has been reopened. </p>

<p>Has anyone's kid brought a horse to college? Did it turn out to be a good thing or a bad thing?</p>

<p>My daughter will attend a LAC, about a 2.5 hour drive from home. She plans to be on the IHSA equestrian team, where the students don't ride their own horses for lessons or shows. The barn where the team practices, and where she could board the horse, is about a 10 minute drive from campus. The college doesn't generally allow freshmen to have cars on campus, but there is an exception for students who bring a horse to school. We have a very old car that my daughter drives exclusively, so it isn't a problem on our part for her to take the car to college.</p>

<p>The horse in question is actually one that we've just been leasing for the summer. My daughter had owned a horse since age 12, who had died suddenly in April. It was very traumatic for her. Having her own horse has been an important part of her self-identity for a long time, and she was very attached to the horse. We had argued for a long time about if she would bring that horse to college. I didn't want her to do it for several reasons, one of which is that the horse was prone to the sickness that he ultimately died of, and had previously had two near-death experiences, and each time it flared up it was emotionally exhausting and the horse required a great deal of time-consuming care from her. I thought it was too much for her to handle as a new freshman without a support system. With the death of the horse, I had thought the issue was closed.</p>

<p>However, I leased a horse for her to ride during the summer, in an attempt to get her out of her funk, and make her want to ride again. She has always been a very busy kid, rushing from activity to activity, and just didn't know how to handle the empty time on her hands when not riding, especially once AP exams were over and she didn't have school work to do. At first she didn't even want to ride the new horse, but over time she is becoming attached to her. The college IHSA team rides a different discipline than what my daughter has done in the past, and the new leased horse is experienced in the new discipline, so it has been good for her to get some practice in this area during the summer. Everyone at our barn is telling us what a great horse she is, and how lucky we were to find her, and what a great horse to learning jumping on, and that my daughter shouldn't give her up. So, she is now begging to extend the lease and take the horse to college with her.</p>

<p>My concern about her taking the horse is one of time management. She will be busy with her classes, and hopefully on a social life. (She doesn't know anybody at the LAC, and will need to make new friends.) Being on the equestrian team will be social, with group practices, team traveling together for competitions, etc., but riding her own horse is a solo activity. </p>

<p>My daughter argues that she is used to being busy, and doesn't like to be idle. That she finds spending time with a horse to be calming, and a way to reduce stress, and will help her to not be homesick, and that she will really miss not having a horse of her own to take care of. </p>

<p>The expense is also an issue, but not a huge issue. Sorry for such a long post.</p>

2

<p>This is hard to answer–but I don’t think it’s a good idea for a college freshman to have a car. Could she go without a horse for the first semester, and then re-evaluate?</p>

3

<p>Next door neighbor’s daughter took her horse to college and it worked out fine. Of course she’s a barrel racer and competes in other areas so it would’ve been like cutting off her hand NOT to take her horse.</p>

<p>The horse can always come home if it doesn’t work out.</p>

4

<br>

<br>

<p>Not really, because the horse is leased, with the expectation that she will be exercised. We can either return the horse to its owner now or extend the lease and take the horse to college. If we return the horse to her owner, she will likely be leased out to someone else quickly. We can’t just leave the horse alone at the our current barn, since she will need someone to ride her. </p>

<p>If we did send the horse to college, we could always stop the lease and send the horse back to her owner at any time, but then we would lose this particular horse.</p>

5

<p>You don’t own the horse, and she’s only been riding him for three months?</p>

<p>No.</p>

<p>She needs to dive into school, spend time meeting new friends, spend time with the team she will be joining, and get to know the horses she will be using as a team member. </p>

<p>It isn’t as though she would be giving up riding if she didn’t bring the horse, she is continuing with horses and riding.</p>

<p>The enormous amount of time a horse requires can be a great thing or it can be a crutch used to avoid having to deal with other parts of life.</p>

6

<p>Your D has no clue how busy she will be or how she will need to manage her time. Having to care for a horse off campus may just be too much. I would not let her bring it.</p>

7

<p>

</p>

<p>One could say the same thing about playing an instrument. But I don’t think anyone would advocate that a violinist leave their great violin at home and play whatever is in on loan at the school. :)</p>

<p>I’d be more concerned about the car than the horse, to tell you the truth. </p>

<p>How about letting her try it for the first semester and evaluating after that? Or is there such a thing as a sublease of a horse, if the owner agrees? Friends who have had horses at show barns have successfully found people to lease part of their horse’s time.</p>

<p>PS I assumed that if the horse is boarded someone else would be taking care of its daily needs and she would just be riding it. If she is gong to be doing daily care, that’s a big negative.</p>

8

<p>Two thoughts initially. First, does the lease specifically allow you to move the horse to a new barn? Some leases do not. Second, riding on an IHSA team, especially if it is competitive, is a huge time commitment. I would be concerned about finding time to ride her own horse outside of the IHSA barn time. </p>

<p>This has been discussed many times on the COTH (Chronicle of the Horse) forum. You might also investigate whether the owner would allow the horse to be used by the IHSA program (i.e., ridden by various team members during lessons and also used in shows hosted by the team). That might take care of keeping the horse in work, but it may not work depending on the horse’s temperament.</p>

9

<p>If it weren’t for my horse, I wouldn’t have spent that year in college.</p>

10

<p>Wouldn’t she want to spend more time riding and getting to know the school’s horses that she will be competing with? Can’t she do the same activities with the team’s horses that she would be doing with her own horse? Or would she not be able to get enough ride time?</p>

11

<p>Of course she should.</p>

<p>But also don’t forget to have her bring her valet, footman, coachman and lady-in-waiting.</p>

12

<p>Can she board the horse on campus? Are you talking about a school like St. Lawrence where her horse would be virtually on the way to class?</p>

<p>Will she be able to ride the horse(s) owned by the team in her off-time?</p>

13

<p>I don’t know about other schools, but if your daughter was going to Mount Holyoke, she could bring her own horse. It’s $700 per month. The application apparently is evaluated on your horse’s writing, as well as riding, ability. </p>

<p>Can I bring my horse with me to Mount Holyoke?
Absolutely. The Mount Holyoke Equestrian Center reserves nearly 30 stalls per school year for students to bring their own horses. A boarding application must be completed for each horse that a student wishes to bring to Mount Holyoke. It is usually due in April. Each boarder is evaluated based on her horse’s manners/vices, a written essay and interest in participating in Mount Holyoke programs and events. If a boarder is not accepted, she will be placed on a wait list. Owners are notified in May.</p>

<p>[Equestrian</a> Center Frequently Asked Questions - Mount Holyoke College Athletics](<a href=“http://athletics.mtholyoke.edu/facilities/equestrian_center/faq]Equestrian”>Equestrian Center Frequently Asked Questions - Mount Holyoke)</p>

<p>If she were a guy, she could go to cowboy college–very rigorous academically, but only for two years. </p>

<p>[Deep</a> Springs College](<a href=“http://www.deepsprings.edu/home]Deep”>http://www.deepsprings.edu/home)</p>

14

<p>Answering some questions: </p>

<p>There is nowhere on the LAC campus itself to board the horse. The barn where the equestrian team rides is a 10 minute drive from campus, and the horse could board there. It would be full board, where the barn staff is responsible for the primary daily care of the horse, so not as time-consuming as if my daughter had to do all of that herself. The time commitment could be as low as riding an additional 1-2x per week, and probably at least once could be back-to-back with a team lesson. </p>

<p>The horse’s owner would have to approve a move of the horse, but I don’t anticipate that being a problem. I doubt he would allow team use of the horse, since it is an older horse and he wanted a lease rider who wouldn’t overwork the horse, and since my daughter was only just beginning to learn to jump it was a good fit. </p>

<p>I don’t know if she could ride the team horses on her off-time - that is a good question to ask. However, she wouldn’t ride the team horses during competitions. In IHSA, you ride the other team’s horses. </p>

<p>One of my daughter’s arguments in wanting to take THIS horse to campus is that her trainer has said that this horse is a particularly good horse to learn jumping on, and that the other horses at school probably won’t be as good. And my daughter is very competitive, and wants to improve quickly in this new riding discipline. </p>

<p>I fully understand that this is a luxury problem to have. But relative to the costs of attending her expensive private LAC, the additional cost is not so high. Her trainer always says that riding horses is expensive, but cheaper than therapy. There is a family history of mental health issues and psychiatric care, so I don’t want to deny her something that could potentially help her well-being, but on the other hand I don’t want to add to her stress level. She is generally pretty social and has a good group of friends (both from the barn and from school), so I’m not overly worried about her ability to make friends at her LAC.</p>

<p>Thanks for all of the feedback.</p>

15

<p>First, I’m sorry for the loss of your family horse. (Even though that is not a sentence I anticipated writing when I got up this morning, it is sincere!)</p>

<p>You say she’s leaving in a week. I’m wondering if the interest in bringing the horse is a reflection of last minute nervousness about leaving home (think of it as a big hay-burning security blanket)? This is clearly a good animal and one that both she and the trainer think is a good fit…but it could also backfire.</p>

<p>Do any of the other team members or other students have their own horse? Might she be perceived negatively by bringing a horse to school? Is there any way you can get in touch with the team coach and find out what the norms are there?</p>

16

<p>If I’m not mistaken, James Madison took a horse to college. Or at any rate I think he did, because it’s a long walk from his home in Virginia to Princeton. But it doesn’t happen much anymore.</p>

17

<p>Sounds like it’s a mixed blessing having the horse around. OTOH, you are concerned about her mental health, and your D would clearly benefit from having this animal around-- perhaps to lessen her anxiety about all the changes she needs to adjust to.</p>

<p>OTOH, realistically speaking- this is a huge, off-campus commitment/distraction from your D’s main job this year- which is adjusting to her new college life, making friends, and getting an education.</p>

<p>I think athletics and recreation (and having something to love) are all important for many kids in their adjustment to college. But I would worry that spending more time at the barn would be an avoidance mechanism at times-- even the most challenging horse is less challenging than having to make new friends, having to go to office hours to tell a professor that you did not understand a single word during the lecture, having to attend a poetry slam or a concert by yourself because your roommate or teammates aren’t interested but you are, and so you push yourself out of your comfort zone to go.</p>

<p>In my mind, more horse is going to mean less pushing of the comfort zone in other arenas- intellectually, artistically, politically, or any of the other ways that college is so stimulating and challenging.</p>

<p>So lots to keep in mind. And with only 24 hours in the day, even brief visits to the barn is going to mean less time in a lab or a museum or music studio or library, no???</p>

18

<p>My college GF had a horse stabled in the country surrounding our LAC. It was something she really enjoyed, and she spent quality time riding and caring for the nag. It wasn’t ill-spent time, when others were throwing frisbees or napping, she was getting fresh air and doing something that was important to her. Her folks were loaded so the financial aspect wasn’t relevant.</p>

19

<p>I know a young woman who brought her horse to her university, but they had facilities on campus (and a vet school). She participated in competitions and developed a very tight core group of friends. If this is her passion it’s no different than skiers who want to ski almost every day or any other kid who has a lifetime passion outside of studies and wants to continue it in college therapeutically or competitively. If you can afford it I don’t see a problem. If your D finds out she’s not devoting time, well, then the horse can come back home.</p>

20

<p>I would let your daughter take the horse with her if everything (owner, lease, available stall, etc) works out. It would be a great stress reliever. while some kids play a musical instrument, some kids run, I bicycled to relieve stress, riding send to be your daughter’s outlet. </p>

<p>If you or she find that the horse is too much of a distraction first semester/year, then bring the horse back. But I suspect not having the horse would be harder than having the horse.</p>