<p>I tried to think of some of the possible indicators that your child has "taken full advantage":</p>
<p>Becoming employable/admitted to grad school
High income
Challenging, interesting work
Graduating
High GPA
Broadening horizons
Self-discipline
Making friends
Clarifying goals
Discovering talents
Developing good values/social responsibility
Self-fulfillment
Social skills/working with others
Meeting future husband/wife
Having fun
Staying safe
Staying healthy
Managing finances
Exercising good judgment</p>
<p>I would say that only about 20% of students make the most of their experience. Therefore, 80% are wasting your money to some extent.</p>
<p>Maybe the real question is "How would you weight or prioritize them?</p>
<p>Here is my priority list:
Staying safe and healthy is the first priority. After that:
Graduating
High GPA (some of the other things are prerequisite to this)
Getting a job or getting into grad school
Challenging, interesting work
Meeting future husband/wife</p>
<p>Graduation goes without saying. Staying healthy goes without saying. I don’t care about the GPA or honors if they made a real effort to challenge themselves and learn. My younger son got C’s in Arabic starting out. He spent a year in Jordan and now as a senior is getting A’s. He learned the material, that’s what I care about.</p>
<p>So my list:
Find a major and learn something in depth
Take advantage of the college’s general education/core curriculum requirements and learn some things you never knew.
Learn how to write, think critically and construct a persuasive argument
Try at least one extra curricular activity that’s new to you
Do something outside classes
Take advantage of summers (Job experience/language skills etc.)
Be actively making progress toward the next step by senior year. (That doesn’t mean a job or grad school has to be settled by graduation day.)</p>
<ol>
<li>Try something (legal) new</li>
<li>Get in minor trouble. And get yourself out</li>
<li>Find out that hard work is its own reward</li>
<li>Meet people completely unlike yourself. Let it change you.</li>
</ol>
<p>A lot of the things on your list are expectations I hold for my kids, whether in college or not. I told my son the goal of college is to become an educated man. This education comes in many forms at a residential college, not just in the classroom. He’ll figure the rest out.</p>
<p>Don’t sit in your dorm room playing beer pong while the Dalai Lama is debating Angela Merkel on religion in the public sphere in a lecture hall five minutes away from you. Don’t watch yet another rerun of Friends on your laptop while a noted art historian is conducting a Q & A in the university museum on why the famous Monet in the collection is now considered a fake.</p>
<p>I am astonished by the number of kids I know who attend universities where there are dozens of free and fantastic and sometimes once in a lifetime opportunities going on every week who basically live the life they led at home. Class, eat, shower, watch TV, go to parties, take selfies.</p>
<p>Yo Yo Ma is giving a masterclass open to the entire university and you can’t be bothered to miss “How I Met Your Mother?” Doesn’t matter that you’re not a music major, or don’t play the cello. You will never in your entire life be in such a robust environment- never- and it’s yours for the taking. And you’re watching TV???</p>
<p>The answers will not necessarily be the same for every student, beyond the very basic level (complete a degree with a major and other course work of interest, (if applicable) with grades suitable for post-graduation plans, and not run up too much debt).</p>
<p>“Taking full advantage…” This means doing more then the minimum needed to graduate. Most colleges offer so much more than they require. Taking more classes to enrich, broaden your knowledge base in both your major and electives. Joining clubs/organizations that appeal to you. Taking in lectures, attending concerts, visiting campus museums available. Spending time relating to other students- most whom you will never see again. Live on campus your first year if possible- even if you could walk to classes from your home (a friend missed out on many late night stuff because of that). Most, if not all, colleges have far too much available to be able to make use of half the available opportunities. Therefore every student’s experience can be unique, even with 40,000 or more students.</p>
<p>Okay, that said there is nothing wrong with enjoying your college experience, ie you shouldn’t be spending all of your time trying to max out on the experience. When you consider your life- will it really matter 40 years later if you did or didn’t attend every outside of class lecture? There has to be time to pause and enjoy just sitting around a favorite spot on campus too. Getting an improbable A in a class because you studied that extra hour or two for the final instead of walking and talking with that Chinese friend who is leaving for another school… </p>
<p>Being an overachiever is not the same as taking full advantage of the college experience. Attending every event possible isn’t either. I couldn’t care less about the “wasting money” bit. I dislike those business oriented articles that only look at monetary values of experiences. Meeting future spouse- I was in private practice before I met Dr. Right- that’s college, medical school and residency before our paths converged.</p>
<p>Note that some of the responses here assume a particular type of college attendance – that of a student residing at the college, typically a well known one that attracts the noted speakers and cultural events. That also assumes that the student does not have work or family obligations that would make it difficult to attend those interesting events.</p>
<p>The reality is that, for many students, college attendance is commuting to the community college or local state university, and often rushing off to a part time job (or full time job while attending college part time) to cover part of the costs. If the speakers and cultural events do show up at the college, they may not be accessible from a scheduling point of view.</p>
<p>I was happy that son included 2 female students as his best friends. I was happy he got deeply involved in 2 ECs And Yo Yo Ma; well, son was still in HS when he came to me and asked to see his 1 night concert. We could only get seats on LAST ROW, but we went. He postponed his interview with Harvard interviewer for that nite. On the other hand, don’t ask me my feelings about son not attending actual classes, but watching them online…rarely talking to profs. some things good, but not not all. Just learned to be happy for what was.</p>
<p>Do a semester abroad.
Do a minimester more locally.
Do an internship.
Do some things that are outside your comfort zone. Get out of the lab and go to a football game. Or skip a football game and go to a free lecture. Or take a class in something completely unrelated to your major.
Join something.
Go home for a break with a friend who lives someplace you’ve never been.
Get off the campus and explore the world.</p>
<p>Last week we took a tour of U-Md, where our very nice, personable tour guide (honors, biochem major) said, “Our campus is so close to Washington DC that on a clear day you can see the Washington Monument from the top of the football stadium. I’ve never actually been in the stadium, but I hope to do that at some point before I graduate.”</p>
<p>I dearly hope that at some point, before she graduates, she makes it to the top row of the stands and sees the Washington Monument. </p>
<p>I feel like this should be done WAY before college. </p>
<p>I did every single thing on your 2nd list and pretty much everything on your first list (no high income) and most definitely did NOT take advantage of the “full college experience” because I was working so danged much. </p>
<p>It’s four years of your life. I like eastcoascrazy’s list </p>
<p>You might be able to get them to attend the Yo Yo Ma masterclass but you might not be able to get them to stop texting on their phones during it. I think parents need to ask a lot of questions and have some heart-to-heart talks about their student’s conduct during those 4 (or 5) years. Parents need to stay involved and encourage their child to get the most out of college. Maybe kick some butt…not literally.</p>
<p>Oh…and, yes, I was serious about the “finding a spouse” item although not the top priority. College is the best opportunity you will have for doing that. I wish I knew how many college students marry classmates eventually…I have no idea. I wound up marrying someone I knew in high school. A good marriage can make a huge difference in life and it gets harder to meet people after college. On the other hand, you may meet people with more maturity.</p>
<p>College is most certainly NOT the best opportunity for finding a spouse. What is this, the 1950’s? In the best marriages I know, the people did not meet each other in college. Besides, at 20,21,22 most kids are still figuring life out-heck right here on this board many parents don’t even consider that age full adults if they are helping with the bills. </p>
<p>You can meet people all kinds of place-the gym, at events you like, the store, the movies, restaurants, singles events, work, through friends, through siblings, too many to count. Nearly everyone I know with a long-lasting, strong marriage (let’s say 30 years or longer), did not meet at college. What a bizarre priority. </p>
<p>My own list is that my D tries new things, meets new people, learns more than she expects and finds a path that makes her happy. College can certainly help with all of those things, but it is not the only component to building the life you want. I hope that she finds a school she likes and can attend with as little debt as possible, but her interests are not making a lot of money-making life better for other is HER priority, and I applaud that. </p>
<p>Rather than college being the best place to find a spouse, it is the best place to gain experience in relationships. Never will you have the amount of free time or such a densely packed population of potentials in your life. Take advantage. </p>
Stupid, unless you have a lot debt from school. “High income” is subjective anyway.
Challenging, interesting work
Agreed.
Graduating
Yup.
High GPA
Depends, again “high” is subjective. As long as you learned and were challenged, it’s OK.
Broadening horizons
Yeah.
Self-discipline
You should have self discipline way before entering college, but it’s a good time to develop it as well.
Making friends
I guess.
Clarifying goals
Yup.
Discovering talents
Yup.
Developing good values/social responsibility
Again, this is stuff you learn in middle school/high school.
Self-fulfillment
Ha, most college kids don’t reach “self fulfillment”, that is for when they actually get to work in their passion or whatever their goals are.
Social skills/working with others
Again, stuff you learn in middle school, but college does offer more advanced ways to develop this.
Meeting future husband/wife
Hahaha, no.
Having fun
Staying safe
Staying healthy
All of these are obvious. Even if you stayed at home after HS and did nothing you should be doing all of these?
Managing finances
I wish, most college kids don’t manage their money well at all. Neither do most adults.
Exercising good judgment
<p>Are any of you reluctant to invest heavily in your child’s education because you doubt they will take full advantage of the opportunities? Would they have a community college experience with an Ivy League price tag?</p>
All three of my kids met their spouses in an educational setting. One in high school, one in undergrad and one in grad school. Can you think of a better place to find such a concentration of available like minded people of about the same age?</p>
<p>Not saying that should be goal number 1, or even on the list, but if it happens would you turn it down because it’s “not the right time” according to your standards?</p>
</p>