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<p>Attended an info session for Brown, Cornell, Columbia, UChicago and Rice over the weekend. One of the presenters (might have been Brown) was claiming to have happiest students on campus who end up claiming “best 4 years of their life” 20 years down the line in large groups to the consternation of their spouses.</p>
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<p>Yes, we understand that this is your set of priorities. Many of us feel that’s only part of the package. We’re not going to convince each other.</p>
<p>D1 is at Tufts, full pay. She had some other, much less expensive options. We agreed to Tufts with the understanding that she was going to take full advantage of the opportunities at the school. It goes without saying that part of that is going to classes and doing as well as possible. It also means doing things that are only possible at Tufts, such as taking part in a year-long in-depth seminar course on a topic of global importance. The first semester was primarily hearing visiting experts and scholars in that field, people who, as you say, are “generally unknown to the general public”. She’s taken that experience and parlayed it into travel/research/internship opportunities. </p>
<p>She couldn’t have done this without the classroom experience. But she couldn’t have done this with only the classroom experience. Which is why I feel that just buckling down and studying isn’t taking full advantage of the college experience.</p>
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<p>Actually, statistically, it is the primary time that one has opportunity to meet and get to know a potential spouse. It’s not top priority, but you can’t just dismiss it. Rarely will you have that option to meet so many people in a natural way again in your lifetime. Lots of people marry someone from college or grad school; in fact, nearly everyone I know did that (not quite 30 years yet, but not far).</p>
<p>I was just reading a blog entry from a student who is out of college for 5 years - the thing she regrets about her college years is not having joined/participated in activities/clubs/networking on campus!</p>
<p>Wow, I can’t imagine having all the wonderful opportunities available at a college and passing them all up to stay in your room and study, study, study. As a college student I got to see Pete Seeger perform live, as well as see the protests over his being and the counter-protesters welcoming him. I got to see an amazing exhibit of Waterford crystal. I met the ambassador from China. I played early video games with engineering students who went on to work for places like Microsoft, and watched a “world’s record” ice cream sundae made in a rowboat with ice cream made in my college’s ag program. I never had the chance to do most of that again and I remember it all quite fondly. There is so much more to life than good grades. My life was richer as a result of all I got to do in college. DVD’s and the news hardly compare.</p>
<p>For those of us who had the opportunity to see some of those influential speakers or great performers, those experiences may be more memorable than many of the classes we took. The idea that listening to a CD of Yo-Yo Ma is in any way comparable to attending a master class he’s conducting is just sad.</p>
<p>On the other hand, I do think that college can be a good opportunity to meet a potential spouse. I’m biased, though, because that’s where I met my spouse.</p>
<p>Not everyone has parents that can foot the bill for them to study and then go to a keg party to unwind or see Yo Yo Ma perform. The large number of college students (remember their are over 4,000 colleges) commute to school and then have jobs to help pay for school. Believe it or not college is an end to justify the means of trying to land a career. Those individuals are probably not majoring in art history to makes themselves a better rounded unemployed college grad.</p>
<p>straightshooter-you’ve heard of moderation, yes? There are enough hours in the day to both study and go to a performance on occasion. There is time to work PT and and study and go to a speech by a guest expert. There is time to work an internship and take in a concert. And art history CAN lead to employment. I know this because my friends in college were engineers who went to concerts but were still hired by places like Microsoft. They’re millionaires now. I know this because I had friends in pharmacy who went to parties. I know this because I know art majors who had job offers before school ended. And I know engineers who are now musicians. Oh, and I know an engineering major who also played on a sports team in college. </p>
<p>There IS no one true way, though according to some you’d never know it. </p>
<p>There are obviously many students who don’t have the time or money to go to concerts and lectures (at least, not very often). That’s too bad–but we’re not really talking about them–we’re talking about kids who have those opportunities–if they do, they should take advantage of them.</p>
<p>To give an analogy, there are people who can’t afford a fancy camera–they may have to make do with a simple point-and-shoot, or no camera at all. But if a person can afford a fancy digital SLR, it has a lot of features that they can get a lot out of by learning to use them.</p>
<p>Let me bring an analogy:</p>
<p>“Take full advantage of being 36 years old. What does it mean to you?”</p>
<p>At 36, that meant taking care of procreating, enjoying babies and working part time so I had a foot in the door of my profession. Oh and I took a painting class at the local art center every other week. </p>
<p>I’m actually of the camp that it will never be easier to find your spouse than while you’re at college, but if you don’t all is not lost. A good many of my college friends found their spouses in college, but some of them didn’t. Most are still married either way.</p>
<p>I got to see YoYo Ma take a master class from Rostropovich when I was in college. :)</p>
<p>I lived at home, commuted to college. First gen, only attending college as a results of a generous merit scholarship that required I maintain a high GPA, which was challenging with a double major in Math/CS as well as a job that required getting up every morning at 5 am and working until classes started, as well as on weekends. But I still attended concerts, lectures, dances, and other campus events, and I’m thankful I had that chance. It’s more than anyone else in my family had up till then.</p>
<p>I’m also thankful I can provide enough money for my kids to live on-campus (in conjunction with merit aid) and not require them to work more than an on-campus job. My kids have grown up in a Southern suburban town. D is at college in a major city, and is learning to navigate public transportation. She has attended lectures by major political figures, concerts, plays, major league baseball games, and other events sponsored by the school. She has also gone to cultural fairs, street festivals, 5K runs, and other events in the city. She sits on the patio at school sipping Starbucks and engaging in political/philosophical debates. She’s learned to play some new sports. She rides her bike to volunteer at the local animal shelter (to get her dog fix in!). She is working very hard at her classes, but also having experiences that are very different from what she has at home (vacations with Mom and Dad to big cities are not the same as navigating a city on your own). She plans to study abroad and visit multiple countries while she has the chance.</p>
<p>If you are fortunate enough to be able to live on a college campus, you have a wealth of opportunities available to you at little or no cost. It would be a shame to let them slip by. I agree with some earlier posters - to me, things like stay healthy, stay safe, study hard, are expectations. Hopes are that new worlds will open up.</p>
<p>“For those of us who had the opportunity to see some of those influential speakers or great performers, those experiences may be more memorable than many of the classes we took.”</p>
<p>I agree. My alma mater is known for its theater and it was always fun to go to the capstone performances and think - which of these kids are going to be the ones we’re going to see on TV, in movies, on Broadway in a few years and we can say we knew them when. One of my regrets is that I didn’t go to more theater or music performances. Who has the time as a working adult? </p>
<p>I agree that some students with good time management skills can get good grades AND take advantage of cultural opportunities. However, most students get involved in sports, clubs, cultural events at the EXPENSE of good grades. Or, they simply waste time watching tv, goofing off with friends, and so on. In a demanding major, you have to set priorities and let some things go. Now that I have graduated and have a good job I can afford a season subscription to professional theater (which is something I enjoy). College students should avoid distractions, keep their noses to the grindstone, avoid wasting their parents money. </p>
<p>In retrospect, you may remember certain experiences with fondness more than you remember your classes but students benefit far more from doing well in their classes. Hunt, it is much sadder when students fail to take advantage of their educational opportunities. This is a very common occurrence at even the best schools and these are the students I was thinking of. </p>
<p>Nowadays, parents have little access to their college student’s academic data because of privacy laws. Parents should ask questions and encourage their children to stay focused and get good grades. There are lots of enticements in college that students should avoid, at least until studying is done for the day. My mother would say you can’t have dessert until you finish your meal. This is the key to success in everything. Self-control, self-discipline.</p>
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As a parent of a kid at a school with many opportunities outside the classroom, I would feel that my kid was wasting my money if she didn’t take advantage of them.</p>
<p>I agree with you about watching TV, though. I place more value on “goofing off with friends” than you do, however. Personally, I think each stage of life is to be lived, and not simply to be viewed as preparation for some later stage of life.</p>
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<p>Do you have any proof of that whatsoever? I know for a fact that there are studies that show part time jobs are associated with higher grades with all other variables controlled for. I’m not sure about other ECs. </p>
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And just because you meet your potential spouse in college doesn’t mean you get married the minute the ink is dry on your diploma (or even before.) H and I were passing acquantances all through college and didn’t get together until after we had both graduated. </p>
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<p>The law in OUR household is, if we are contributing 5 figures per year towards costs, then D shares her grades with us. D is actually harder on herself than we are (I’ve shown her my college transcripts, which include a hard-earned C in Real Analysis, and tried to reinforce that getting less than an A is not the end of the world). However, I believe in Trust but Verify. We have had family members paying for college who did not know anything was wrong until their child was invited to NOT return to their school. Sorry, there are no free rides. Unless you’re paying for the education, you share the grades.</p>
<p>replying to the thread title only: for me, it was drowning / immersing myself (conservatory style) into my field of work, taking classes in other interests like acting, and trying adventurous things like rock climbing and SCUBA diving.</p>
<p>Nowadays we actually have far more ability to track everything our kids do than when we were kids. When I was in college, grades were mailed home after the semester ended. Parents did not have the ability to log onto some website and see them, password given or not. They did not know if we went to class, went to the show, went to a party or didn’t go anywhere. We were actually expected to make sensible decisions for ourselves, and I think that most of us did. We’ve come to believe that kids are not capable of doing so any more so we have to track them. I think we’ve done them all a disservice. </p>
<p>Again I say that if all students do is work on classes and grades, they should just save their money and live at home and do it all online. Why bother leave the house for that matter? The reality is that even the most demanding majors are not 24/7 and everyone has a little downtime. THAT is when students can and should explore the rest of the world outside their rooms.</p>