Taking a Gap Year? Disappointing Admission Results

Parents Forum
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<p>I'm a highschool senior who is now seriously considering a gap year. I've been homeschooled since first grade, and taking community college courses (2 per semester) since I was 14. I started taking honors classes my next semester, and continued taking a honors course every semester, maintaining a GPA of 3.87. When I was 15, I became a member of Phi Theta Kappa, the honor society for community colleges. This last year, I have taken part in a two semester independent study with a professor.</p>

<p>I did well on my SATs: 800 writing, 650 math, 690 reading. Subject tests as well. Biology: 720, Math I: 640, Literature: 700.</p>

<p>I've been to the Bahamas for field work as part of a community college class, and I took part in a summer internship when I was 16, working at an aquarium with duties that included training a blind seal. I volunteer at my church, my library, the local farmer's market, and at a city school where I work with minority children. I've been running a homeschool bookclub since I was 11. It's one of my favorite activities.</p>

<p>I don't want to say that I was cocky about my college chances, but I was fairly confident. So when the news came back-- Rejected from Brown, Amherst, Middlebury, and Colgate; Waitlisted at Colby, Grinnell, and Reed; Accepted only at SUNY Geneseo-- It was a shock. I've been waiting for college for such a long time. It never occurred to me that I wouldn't attend. It was always a given. My highschool experience hasn't been the best. Being a homeschooler can be lonely. But I thought it would be worth it because of the bright light at the end of the tunnel-- college. Now, that's slipping away from me. I thought I would have more options. Every time I think about my future, it hurts.</p>

<p>So, I see a couple of options before me. I could attend my safety school, SUNY Geneseo. However, it is barely an hour from home, and not as diverse or as academic as I had planned. I want to get away from my home city. I really want to experience new places. I don't want to get stuck here. However, SUNY Geneseo is a respectable school. I know that I could excel there, and defiantly graduate early with the 50+ community college credits I have accumulated. I could be done in 3 years or less, and then move right on to grad school. I am attending a campus overnight at this school, so maybe I'll fall in love. But I really don't want to settled for college. I never saw undergraduate school as just a method to passing on to grad school, which is what I think SUNY Geneseo would become for me. I'm already burnt out from community college. I no longer enjoy it there. I'm afraid that I will be just as unhappy at SUNY Geneseo.</p>

<p>I'm not counting on my waitlisted schools. I'll make an effort, but with the waitlist admission rates, it would be dumb to be optimistic.</p>

<p>I could transfer out of Geneseo, but I get the impression that transfer acceptance rates are pretty low.</p>

<p>So, the other serious option I'm looking into is just saying damn it all and taking a year off. I'm burnt out from school anyway, so maybe it would be good to get some time off to do something I really love. Each time I have traveled abroad or interned, I've really loved the experience. Some of the best memories of my life. I can see myself really enjoying a gap year and growing a lot. I really want to learn a foreign language, a place where my academics are a little lacking, but more than that, I would love to teach or work with kids. I love the kindergarten class I volunteer with at home. It always makes me happy to help them out. Traveling to France or China, or somewhere even more remote like Nepal and teaching English, for example, would be really enjoyable. I would also love to help out with service projects, or look into a more exotic marine biology internship. I start to get excited when I think about my year off. But I keep stopping myself. I think it's the fact that college was something I looked forward to for so long. I can't wait to be attending. The idea of another year wait before I get to settle into college life kills me. I want to be in college now. I wanted to be in college last year. I'm so ready to move on from where I am now. But I think a gap year could be really great. I keep going back and forth.</p>

<p>One last thing. I suffer from anxiety. Mental illness unfortunately runs in my family. My anxiety is something that I haven't dealt with or even talked about for a long time-- only now am I really trying to do something about it. When I look back, I realize how many things it kept me from. I know how bad it is to play the "what if" game, but I could have gotten involved in many more extracurriculars that would have looked great and I would have really enjoyed if it hadn't been for my anxiety.</p>

<p>I apologize, this ended up being really long. It feels like a blog. But it's great to type it all out. I have a limited pool of people to offer me advice. I'm not really sure who to talk to. I guess I'm just looking for advice here. I'm not sure what to do. What's really getting to me at this point is the lack of options. I honestly thought that the hard part was going to be picking which school to attend, not getting rejected from everywhere. So-- state school or gap year? Or something else entirely? Does anyone have any experience facing this sort of dilemma? Any children in similar situations? At this point, I'm really just looking for some good advice.</p>

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<p>You could still apply to some schools that are still accepting applications. It looks like you didn’t have any “match” schools…just big reaches and one safety.</p>

<p>Are any other SUNYs still accepting apps?</p>

<p>How much will your parents pay for college? If they can’t pay much, then apply to some SUNYs that are still accepting apps.</p>

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<p>Keep your mind very open during the SUNY Geneseo overnight. That’s the honors academic college of the SUNY system. The other students you meet there will likely be quite intelligent and self-motivated, like you. But there will be more of you; not so lonely! </p>

<p>You might also try a few applications to schools that are still accepting, IF you perceive they are better than SUNY Geneseo.</p>

<p>If you take a gap year, try next time to apply to a range of reach-match-safeties. Your list was reach-heavy.</p>

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<p>Geneseo is a great place. Paying3tuitions is right. It’s exceptional, and you need to get to a residential school and dive in. Worry about all the rest of it later…right now, just go where you were accepted and find some friends and have some fun and work hard and all the rest of it.</p>

<p>For a lot of kids, I’d say gap year, why not? For you, you need to get around some people your own age more than you need to try to find a “better” school. Truly. I think you’ll like it there.</p>

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<p>I STRONGLY suggest you contact your wait listed colleges and let them KNOW that you are eger to be accepted off the wait list. Ask them what you can do to improve your chances.
And at the same time, you can start making plans for a gap year. If you want to the gap year to increase your chances of acceptance, then look into the strategy that this young man used with much success. </p>

<p><a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/192395-no-acceptances-one-kids-story-year-later.html?highlight=year[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/192395-no-acceptances-one-kids-story-year-later.html?highlight=year&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

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<p>Taking a gap year can be wonderful and given all the accelerated work you’ve done it might be an even better idea to just try a whole different rhythm and consider reapplying and include a broader array of liberal arts schools. There are schools that will want you, no question. (And add in a broader array: Hamilton, Rhodes, Knox…)</p>

<p>However, if you think your anxiety would be increased by the open road/adventure path–also consider doing a campaign with your wait list schools to see if you can open the door. </p>

<p>Schools like those on your list love to know how earnest you are about wanting to be there and that you would come if they offered. Write a heartfelt letter about your disappointment and desire; tell them you will definitely come and why you want them. They will be getting turn-downs and want to be making calls to make wait-list offers when that happens. There is no reason they wouldn’t call you–but they won’t if you don’t let them know your passion to come</p>

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<p>I defiantly realize now that I applied to the wrong group of schools. For some reason, my mind was set on a very specific, very competitive set. I wanted small, very academically strong, liberal arts schools. For some reason, I just rejected my other options… I originally had a list with more range but I got rid of many of those schools. Another reason that taking a gap year appeals to me. It’s a do over for me, a chance to apply to a better range of schools, and schools that I personally fit in to better. Before I applied, I thought it was the name of the undergrad school that mattered. Now I know that it’s how I fit in and feel at a school, that I can excel wherever I go. I just wish I realized this earlier.</p>

<p>mmaah-- As you mentioned, I even had Knox on my list, I just decided to get rid of it because I didn’t think it stood out enough… I just think I went about the college application process backwards.</p>

<p>About waitlisted schools-- I have written a letter updating colleges about my marine biology course, since that was a great experience for me, and expressing my real interest to attend, especially Reed. I also plan to get in touch with the admission reps for my area, to express my interest personally and ask what else I should be doing. Reed is my top choice right now, but I just don’t want to depend on it. It’s easier for me to let go now than to be crushed again in July.</p>

<p>menloparkmom-- Thanks so much for the link to that story about the kid with no acceptances. It was really inspiring and i can completely relate.</p>

<p>I know that Geneseo is a good school, and I’m trying to keep my mind open, but I guess for me it just doesn’t seem like enough of a change. I know a bunch of kids who went to MCC and are now at Geneseo. And I read that only 50% of students at Geneseo live on campus. Basically, my fear is that Geneseo won’t be enough of a change from MCC that it will be more of the same. I want a real college experience. But I am looking forward to the campus overnight. I just feel that going to Geneseo is like settling into a class that you know you can get an A in. I could do well, but I don’t know if it would offer me the challenge and environment that I have been looking for. Then again, maybe I’ll stay overnight and decide that I love it.</p>

<p>Does anyone have any tips about finding gap year programs? What to search online, or who to talk to? My “guidance counselor” at MCC suggested a consulting service to me, but then I heard that I shouldn’t waste my money on a consultant, and I should just find my own way. Advice?</p>

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<p>If you are not going to jeopardize any major scholarships by taking a gap year it might be a great way for you to free your mind of academic pressure and to get a new start. Reapplying to these schools, or others you learn of during a gap year, could provide opportunities you don’t have right now. If taking a gap year is going to create financial hardship and possibly hurt your ability to pay for college in a year then I would advise against doing it.</p>

<p>Education isn’t gained strictly in a classroom.</p>

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<p>You will get a real college experience by living on campus. That 50% may indicate that many upperclassmen choose off campus housing, not that they commute from home. I would never be so cocky as to think the school would mean easy A’s for you from the descriptions of it given here. I suspect it can be as challenging as others on your list. Your test scores are not 800’s and there will be students who scored higher than you did. I would not worry about finding a peer group that meets or exceeds your academic ability. Check to see if the school fits the suitcase college image- do most clear out for home on weekends? Your past experience has been with a very different “college” crowd- community colleges draw different student bodies than four year colleges. You will get to know students of your own age who had the regular HS experience. You will belong to a group instead of leaving after classes. Ten minutes/one hour/ten hours away from home doesn’t make the going away to college different when you live on campus.</p>

<p>See how you feel after the college visit. See if you feel a connection go to the school. You can always apply for a transfer later if it doesn’t meet your needs. If you do not feel right there then do not go. It seems as though your gap year will not strengthen your college application but will allow you to choose different schools. Will you be better off as a transfer student with the straight from home/HS freshman college experience or as a new freshman with other experiences? You want the “college experience”- this will be different for you after a year away from schooling.</p>

<p>Also remember that no school (or schooling) is perfect. Dreams always meet reality. Your big question will be- will I be better off here or with no college for the coming year? Definitely (notice the spelling) think about WHY you are going to college, now or later. Do you have a major in mind? Or are you just continuing to take courses? Lack of motivation is the biggest reason to drop out of education. You need a concrete reason to be in college. Look at the college catalog- are there courses that excite you? Do you have a goal in mind? It may be you need a year off to figure out what you want to do with your life instead of filling your brain with more of the same.</p>

<p>Partway through my post I realized it seems disjointed. I’m going to leave it as is however. I think I have tossed in some “food for thought”. Not a well written post, but some bits and pieces you may find helpful. Good luck.</p>

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<p>In response to your question about how to find out about gap years, you can begin by using the search function for CC (top center of this page) and type in “gap year.” Click for “show results in threads” rather than in posts.</p>

<p>Much has been written on it.</p>

<p>That doesn’t mean I think it’s your best next move. I’m just playing librarian here. I trust you to come to that after you weigh lots more information. I don’t know what’s best for you, but I admire you for working hard to figure it out.</p>

<p>Remember too that you’re in somewhat of a state of shock or disappointment here. To come out of the loss of a big idea, you go through stages (shock, denial, anger, grief, negotiating/arguing and eventually, integration or acceptance. I just clumsily rewrote Kubla Ross’s stages of grief after death. Yours is the death of a long-cherished idea, and I think you’re going through some kind of grief process to come to terms with it. That’s good. All this information collection (including the Geneseo visit) is a way to sift over how you will inte4grate this disappointment and step forward. You have many options, and are physically healthy. I hope you will go from strength to strength. An intelligent, resourceful young woman will eventually come to good conclusions, and I am confident you will find your way through the woods. There are many ways to resolve this, and all you are doing is figuring out (by more info gathering) which way will work for you. Pat yourself on the back for doing just that. </p>

<p>I also encourage my own 3 to ask themselves, if I choose path X, what’s the worst thing that could happen? If path Y, what’s the worst thing…? If they can live with the worst thing (e.g., I’ll waste my time, I won’t like it and transfer, I’ll do it all over again in a year…) then that helps them evaluate different pathways with more courage about each one. It’s the opposite of wondering, “how great will this be?” It’s very practical, saying, “it won’t be perfect, but can I handle the worst possible form of this if it doesn’t work.” Since my kids are naturally optimists, this sometimes help them think clearly about their next move. Surprisingly, the “worst thing” is usually something they CAN deal with! So it makes a next-best-choice seem more appealing and they begin to look for the up-side next.</p>

<p>P.s. LOL, I should add that in our family, after all the info-gathering, most decisions are made from the heart/intuition. Sometimes it’s a leap of faith, just saying, I feel in my gut this is what I should do next.
And trust that in the future, you have the ability to make things work to your best advantage. For example, if you go to Geneseo and are open to people, I (and others) are imagining you’ll make some great friends in a residential setting, 24/7, pajamas and all. Or if you take the gap year, you’ll come up with a truly interesting plan and learn how to restructure your list for a Round 2 chance at applying, and will cope with the impatience to begin college right now. Each one of your ideas has merit, but I think in the end you’ll just know in your EMOTIONS (after gathering the info) which way will be right for you next. </p>

<p>After gathering the info and anlyzing it to death, just trust your intuition. It will work out because you will make it so.</p>

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<p>A gap year isn’t a bad idea so long as you structure it well. Colleges that you apply to after you gap year will need to see that you were doing something, that you were taking a gap year for a purpose (and not getting into the colleges you were hoping for is a reason for taking a gap year, but it’s not a purpose for taking a gap year). Obviously you’re a very self-directed person, so I don’t think you’ll have too much problem thinking up something to do that is enriching, interesting, and fun. </p>

<p>SUNY Geneseo is a good school, but it sounds to me that you’re looking for a small school, something with tight campus community, strong academics, but also a chance for good science study. A larger school like GEneseo, even though it is the honors college of the SUNY system, may not suit you. You obviously want bigger than your previous learning community that was essentially just you, but since you are used to homeschooling you may not want the shock to your system involved in jumping into a larger university right away. Smaller LACs might be just your thing, with good academics but also lots of support, and there are lots to choose from. </p>

<p>Are you a female student? Have you considered women’s colleges? </p>

<p>I know you’re probably upset right now, but try not to be too hard on yourself. The crooked path is sometimes the most fun to walk. Hang in there, and good luck.</p>

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<p>Since someone above suggested looking at a list of colleges still taking in apps, I found this link if it helps you:
<a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/884256-colleges-still-accepting-applications.html?highlight=accepting+applications[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/884256-colleges-still-accepting-applications.html?highlight=accepting+applications&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

<p>As well, I changed your Thread Title to reflect the larger range of issues you raise in your OP (opening post). Your thread (orginally titled “Taking a Gap Year”) keeps sliding to page 2. I think that’s because its title suggests a limited topic, when in fact you have many considerations. </p>

<p>So, I’ve added the words “Disappointing admission results.” </p>

<p>Retitled, I hope more parents will notice your thread and offer helpful and constructive advice. :)</p>

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<p>Continue to pursue Reed – it’s a college I very much wanted to go to back in the dark ages, but it was super expensive even then, so I couldn’t. But I don’t believe in regret.</p>

<p>Speaking of which, will you have the resources to go if you get off the waitlist? Also, will you have the resources if you decide to take a gap year?</p>

<p>I’ve taken gap years at various times following high school and found that time not only rewarding, but important in terms of exploration and balance. I find it hard to imagine people that spend 12 years in school, then 4 years in college, then another 3 - 7 years doing post graduate work, followed by the balance of their life working. I also find it incomprehensible (to me anyway) why a student would want to rush through the process and complete college in 3 years, and so forth.</p>

<p>I wouldn’t trade what I gained for anything. However, my passion has always been one of exploration, be it outwardly or inwardly, and others have different ideas how they want to live their lives. I figure, if you have only one life to live, live it, no regrets.</p>

<p>Although some students like to take a year abroad in their junior year, there’s nothing that says you must do it that way. In France, for example, there are a number of semester and year programs – one in Paris, one at the Universite de Grenoble, to name two, where you study French language and culture for a certificate (you can often times use the credits if you want – you do have a choice!). I did this, and I met many people from the U.S. and the U.K. who also took this route, and we have maintained close ties since those days. </p>

<p>After college I took another gap year and worked two jobs to give me time to figure out where I wanted to go from there. </p>

<p>I swallowed a line from the Stones’s “Ruby Tuesday” hook, line and sinker: Catch your dreams before they slip away.</p>

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<p>I’m sorry, I can’t figure out if you need financial aid. I know it’s a personal question, but it may make a difference in your case.</p>

<p>So, 1. Which of your waitlist schools has the highest waitlist matriculation history? You might want to find that out.</p>

<ol>
<li><p>Put in some effort. It can help with the waitlist. PM Oldfort for help with this…she is very knowledgable about how to get off the waitlist…If one of my kids were on a waitlist and I wanted to get them off, I’d ask her advice for sure.</p></li>
<li><p>Obviously you can’t “count” on being taken off the waitlist…google gap year. Or, and this is a strong recommendation, go to the office at your community college and ask them what kind of stuff they know about. A lot of times these people are just founts of information waiting to be asked…If you do find something on google bring it back here to make sure someone has heard of it, just so you’re sure it’s not “strange.”</p></li>
<li><p>Finally, I still recommend you consider Gen. because you are lonely and need most to be around kids your age even more than you need to worry about the rankings. fwiw.</p></li>
</ol>

<p><a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/college-admissions/340729-waitlist-success-stories.html?highlight=waitlist[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/college-admissions/340729-waitlist-success-stories.html?highlight=waitlist&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

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<p>wis75-- I’m sorry, I came off really arrogant there. I didn’t mean to say that of course I would do well because I’m so great, I just meant that for me personally, Geneseo feels like academically settling. It’s a great school, but I think that I could push myself farther at a different school. Geneseo feels safe to me. It feels like an easy step, which is not what I necessarily want to take in the next part of my life.</p>

<p>paying3tuitions-- Thanks so much for you words. It feels great to have someone to talk to. I see myself going through those stages of grief… I keep telling people that I’m alright now, but it still stings a lot. I’m not quite over it yet. I have a strong, personal belief that everything works out the way it should. I didn’t get in to my top schools for a reason. I keep telling myself. But I also keep asking what the reason is. I don’t understand it yet, but hopefully I will sooner rather than later. Maybe once my grieving process is over I can make an emotional choice. At this point, I still feel lost and somewhat shocked. But I’m beginning to more seriously consider what to do now. I’m getting there. Thanks for changing the thread name. I do have a lot going on here now haha… But truly, thank you for your words.</p>

<p>The linked thread, No Acceptances: One Kid’s Story - A year later…, helped me so much! I see myself in a very similar situation, with an outcome I hope to be similar to his.</p>

<p>What is the tern LAC? I feel like it’s obvious, but might as well ask. I didn’t really consider all women colleges. That was one thing that made slimming my list down easier. I get along better with guys generally, as friends and just in general, so I wanted to stick to that.</p>

<p>UCLA77-- That is one thing that seriously concerns me. Reed is currently my top choice, but even if I did get in, they don’t guarantee any aid for students taken off the waitlist. I am a student who will require aid, quite a bit, which is another point towards attending Geneseo. My financial aid package there was very, very good… $5,000 in loans a semester, the rest covered. I feel the same way though! I always felt a little depressed when I saw the years and years of school stretching out before me (I attend to get a PhD) and then work after that. So maybe a path like yours would work great for me. Thanks for the suggestions in France. I would love to study there.</p>

<p>One new option I found today is the Semester at Sea program. A semester traveling abroad on a boat, while taking college courses for credit. True, it’s expensive, but it sounds amazing. I am seriously considering applying, and then figuring out whether I want to attend in the future. Anyone have any experience with that program in particular?</p>

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<p>poetgrl-- I definitely do. Unfortunately, it will probably influence my college decisions quite a bit. I’m sure which of my schools has the highest acceptance for waitlists, I should look into that. And thanks for the tip about Oldfort. I will PM her for sure. I’ve been meaning to talk to some of my professors and ask them for advice, as well as some contacts I’ve made through internships, work, etc. I hope I can gather some information and advice to give myself a better direction here.</p>

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<p>I worry a little about the combination of “home school” and “anxiety” but don’t feel this is the place to discuss it. Is there a professional you can discuss that with? You don’t have to answer here.</p>

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<p><em>Definitely</em> look at the list of colleges that are still taking applications. I just glanced over it and saw a lot of quality schools.</p>

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<p>I took a gap year before college and another before grad school. The first gap year I went to school in France and lived with a French family. It was a great experience and nice to know a language fluently before I got to college. </p>

<p>From everything you’ve posted though, I’m not sure that a gap year is what you need at this time. Geneseo isn’t that big, it’s the only SUNY we considered. You might be better off going there, doing really well and then transferring to another school. </p>

<p>I’d also work hard at campaigning to get off one of the waitlists, though obviously that’s a long shot. Is there another letter of recommendation that someone could send for you? Anything good to tell the colleges about since you mailed in the application?</p>

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<p>“I worry a little about the combination of “home school” and “anxiety” but don’t feel this is the place to discuss it. Is there a professional you can discuss that with? You don’t have to answer here.”</p>

<p>This concerns me, too, and I strongly suggest that you get advice from a mental health professional about what might be best for your to do.</p>