<p>We have to pick up our 14 year old at a Concordia Language Villages camp in Minnesota this summer so we are planning to take our 16 and 17 year olds to visit Macalaster, St. Olaf, Carleton and Beloit on the way home. I would prefer not to take the 10 and 8 year old with us but dh doesn't want to leave them home with a babysitter while we're gone for 6 days. If we take them with us, I think one of the adults would have to drop off the teens and other parent at the school and then find some place to entertain the younger ones, then come back and pick up the visiting group. It sounds awful to me. Any thoughts?</p>
<p>If they are well behaved kids, they can do the tours just fine, in my opinion. The ones who get me are the ones who bring their toddler or very young kids that they have to know are not going to be under control on these tours. I 've seen a number of those kids, and they are disruptive, distracting, rude, and it is unfair to those kids for them to be there. You know your kids. I don’t think they have to be enthused about the tours. Doesn’t hurt for them to be bored either. It’s a matter of whether they can behave.</p>
<p>my kids are 8 years apart and H worked odd hours/swingshift so virtually all of child care I dealt with.
I did take younger daughter on a couple tours- when it was an info session, I brought my laptop for her to sit off to the side and play games- but as long as they have something non disruptive to do- ( and they could play games with each other) , I think it should be fine, isn’t that why ipods were invented?</p>
<p>My youngest D is a veteran of college visits, having visited many with her older brother and sister. With the exception of the formal information session, which bores her to tears, she generally like the tour and seeing the different bookstores. </p>
<p>An added bonus is that when it is her time to look at colleges in a few years, she will have a strong point of reference. I don’t think there is any reason why you could not go on the tours together as a family. If the young kids just can’t stand the thought, you can still bring them to the campus and just go to the student center for a snack or check out the bookstore. Great distractions and you get to see the campus. By the way, those are some great schools on your list. I love the St. Olaf campus.</p>
<p>Any chance of, ahem, dumping them on grandma and grandpa for a few days? Or maybe scheduling THEIR summer camps (if they do one) during that week?</p>
<p>We took my younger daughter to one college tour and she was done - refused to go on any others. I really couldn’t blame her. We’re from NY and when we did a California and Chicago tour over spring break we took my sister with me. One day they visited Disneyland, one day the beach, and one day just stayed around the hotel. They also toured a little bit of Chicago on our Chicago day. It worked well because the three of us were able to do the whole visitation thing without any distraction and the two of them (aunt and niece) got to spend some good time together doing fun things for them. At the same time we all had dinner and evening time together, which was very nice.</p>
<p>Any chance you have an older relative who can come along?</p>
<p>I wish I could leave them with Grandma and Grandpa but my mother will be out of town and dh’s parents are nearing 80. 6 days is just too long. I think it will be a lot of time in the car for kids who have no reason to go. Just to get to Minneapolis St Paul will be 12 hours in the car. Then 1 1/2 days hanging out, 2 1/2 days of college visits and a very long drive home - just seems unfair to them.</p>
<p>The schools won’t be crowded in the summer. Surely the 14 year old or one of the adults can picnic with the younger ones in a nice spot on campus while you take the tour. You don’t need to all go to the info sessions.</p>
<p>What are the options on leaving them home? Would you have to hire strangers? Is it possible for one parent to just stay home with them? S and I have toured/visited 14 schools on short and longer trips. D (15) has seen 11 of them. DH works a lot and has only been to 6 of them with us, which is fine with us, if you know what I mean ;). I am assuming your teens would be able to help with the driving?</p>
<p>I would probably go insane if I had to spend that much time in the car with 4/5 kids…:)</p>
<p>I fear that if you take them on the tours (especially more than one), they will end up with a grudge against those schools. Try to find something else they can do, even if it’s in the same town.</p>
<p>Younger sibs “can” go on these tours…but really, after one or two tours it’s highly unlikely they will be having much fun. I would vote for one parent taking the kids on the college tour and the other staying home with the kids. </p>
<p>We took younger DD on the trips for tours of DS’s schools IF they were combined with a family vacation. When possible (and it was most of the time) she stayed with the relatives. She came on two tours …partially…then went and sat with one of us in the student center for a snack…and she was 12.</p>
<p>I absolutely would NOT take the younger siblings. There are privileges (and responsibilities) with being the oldest. One of the privileges should be a small amount of freedom to explore a college campus without parents and younger siblings whining to leave asap. </p>
<p>I speak as a long time Cub Scout Den Leader. Almost all of our activities were very age specific. I recall, with some horror, the night we did “intro to pocket knives”. It was a terrific evening for the ten year olds (very age appropriate) but the one parent who was loosing her mind was the one who was trying to be supportive of her son while also chasing around the five year old who was the “tag along”. Pocket knives and five year olds are a horrible combination!</p>
<p>Both parents may “want” to see these campuses, but I would strongly encourage you to give that desire a pass. Take the two older ones and one parent – or, if both parents go, do make arrangements for the little ones so they can stay home (which might be more fun for them on many levels). </p>
<p>It would be different if this was one campus on one day. For that smaller excursion, it would be reasonable to keep the younger ones entertained – but this is a large excursion with many pieces. Worst of all, it would preclude any spontanity. Say the teens are doing the campus tour and, at the end, the tour guide says “hey, I’m going to go get a cup of coffee at the Student Union. Want to come along?” Well, with the entire Clampett Clan waiting in the parking lot, that is not going to be possible. But that informal opportunity might yield huge insights and connections that make a big difference in the application process, the financial aid awareness, the housing choices . . . and so on. </p>
<p>I’d feel even stronger that this is a “teen” activity if you ever have your teens provide child care (most families do). Having the younger ones along during a time when 90% of the other teens do NOT could lead to resentment that colors the whole household life. Far better to separate out and let the teens have their teen moments – and then also have some times when the teens have family responsibilities. If it is ALL family ALL the time, things tend to get grumpy. </p>
<p>I cringe when folks take a preschooler to an R movie – or bouncy 8 year olds to a wine tasting – yes, it is possible for things to work out. But these things are structured for a particular consumer – just as college tours are structured for 17 to 20 year olds. You are trying to MAKE a fit happen if you try to force the situation with other age groups. It can be dreadfully unfair to the teens, the tour guides, the other families and your own youngsters.</p>
<p>My then 8th grader was a trooper and went on several tours with his older brother. He brought a book and read it during the info sessions. I don’t see that taking the younger kids to a local museum or park with the other parent would be so awful though. With cell phones you can adjust plans and have some flexibility.</p>
<p>“I cringe when folks take a preschooler to an R movie – or bouncy 8 year olds to a wine tasting – yes, it is possible for things to work out.”</p>
<p>As someone who has been to wine tastings at in the age range of something like 8-10, I can assure you, they absolutely don’t let the kids taste the wine as well.</p>
<p>I would think having the 14 year old watch over the younger ones in a park somewhere (or another adult if the 14 year old wants to go on the campus tour as well) would be the best idea. Even with a babysitter (unless this baby sitter was going to stay there all day) I would think 8 and 10 are probably too young to stay home alone for 6 days.</p>
<p>Absolutely the young ones cannot stay alone for six days! (probably against the law!) OP wrote that dh was uncomfortable with a babysitter for that long (also a good point). </p>
<p>But I’m not keen on the 14 year old staying at the park with the younger ones. The family is in a strange community and the 14 year old would not be able to drive the little ones away if something at the park started to get creepy. Nope. Please don’t.</p>
<pre><code>I have been that teen who was responsible for young neighbors for too many hours. Child care is hard work. Not everyone has a talent for it. It also grows exponentially harder with time. It’s not too bad to have two kids at the park for an hour – but it can be misery all around if the time stretches for three hours. The snacks are gone, the sun is hot (or the storm has moved in) and it is just . . . ghastly.
</code></pre>
<p>I would try my hardest to find other accommodations. An aunt or uncle? Have each of them stay for a week at a friend’s house in exchange for a later week at yours?</p>
<p>I am with Olymom on this. My kids are four years apart and the 2nd one was equally or more academically oriented, but my wife and I agreed that college visits would be my job so that the focus could be totally on that without distractions by the younger one. So my wife stayed home with #2 while #1 and I had a very productive week. It was also good one on one time to explore any concerns he had about going off to college. As it turns out when the time rolled around for #2, her list of schools to visit only had two (both in-state) that were on her brother’s list so there was not much “efficiency” lost and by and large her college visits were with just me too.</p>
<p>I brought my ten year old daughter along to an open house last fall, and it wasn’t too bad. The only part that was kind of tough on her was the chemical engineering presentation. I don’t think I would have brought her on a multi day college tour though, she would have been bored to tears.</p>
<p>My husband and I shared the trips, and left the younger siblings at home. This is a special time for the one going to college. The tours, and vibe should be experienced without distractions. So one of us went, and the other stayed home.</p>
<p>If I couldn’t arrange a sitter I would not take them on the tours or admissions sessions etc. I’d probably split up duties and have one of us parents deal with the littles and the other take the high schoolers on the tour/sessions etc. 14 is pushing it abit and a 14 year would probably be OK although bored, but 8 and 10 in my opinion are too young to be tagging around a college tour group/info session etc. I wouldn’t do it because I wouldn’t want to keep an eye on them it would be distracting to me and I’d be too worried that other parents and future students would be upset. Most college towns are interesting enough that the spouse not on the tour can find plenty to do with the young ones. Three years ago my youngest was 11 and we did not bring him. This past year he was 14 and we still didn’t bring him, he just wasn’t interested. He and his dad (who also isn’t too keen on the college tour circuit) found their own entertainment. The 14 year old would have behaved but it would not have been “fun.”</p>