<p>My son just asked two of his teachers for college recommendations. What is an appropriate gift and when is it usually given? I know the "official" answer is that no gift is needed, just a thank you note, but we would really like to find something special, but appropriate.</p>
<p>Really, a hand written thank you note on a nice note card thrilled all of the people that DD asked for recs. So many do not even do that. Since she was a voice applicant she gave them a copy of her screening CD if they wanted one. Perhaps home baked goods? Something more somehow seems inappropriate.</p>
<p>We gave each of the teachers who wrote our son's recommendations a small gift card (15 dollars) to Barnes and Nobles/Border with a nice handwritten note from him
They seemed to appreciate it and it was not over the top in terms of cost</p>
<p>Prompt notes are more important/essential than gifts. Also, may I recommend that your child also drop by a two sentence email or note or wait after class just to have a word with references when they A. Visit said colleges in fall and share an impression or two B. Hear Anything whatsoever from the college..encouraging or discouraging...not every detail, but significant things...this is then followed by a sincere..THANKS FOR YOUR SUPPORT through this process. I appreciate your interest whether or not I am admitted.</p>
<p>You have to also help release references from feeling any worry about shouldering responsibility on whether you are waitlisted or admitted. Step up and say you can take it (possible rejection), but you appreciate having them rooting for you.</p>
<p>You don't want to do information overload, but people who bother to write references cannot be expected to understand your college list and its idiosyncratic meaning to you. </p>
<p>Because my son's ideas of his colleges evolved after interviews or visits to classrooms, and he chatted a bit with his references about those experiences, his references became more real and less abstract and probably stronger.</p>
<p>my son gave gifts but he gave them as he exited school for winter break, under the presumption that his recommendations were already in, which sort of reduced the ick element of giving a gift to someone evaluating you.</p>
<p>Gifts he used..a CD of music he and one teacher liked..classical. Another person..something as simple as a photo frame...another person, some small food item. Again, the notes are what count. And might I add that it turned out that none of his references were written till after Christmas, although not one teacher admitted to not having actually mailed in a reference yet. </p>
<p>This is a subtle reality in a high school where few go to college and GCs have 250 students each...so...keep in mind that your behavior all first semester could become part of your reference. Our son's references didn't even get to his colleges till New Years. The fact that his references were likely written at the last minute over winter break by guilty feeling teachers..turned out to be to his advantage. By then, he was not a stranger but someone whose outcomes they were sincerely interested in.
And..the thank you notes had already been read.</p>
<p>Faline2 made some good points I had forgotten about. DD needed a lot of references because of the process for VP -separate music and academic and GC for numerous schools and scholarships. Since she did not want to overload anyone, she spread them around. She made them all fudge at Christmas break (it seemed more like a holiday present than a thank you gift) and kept in touch with all, letting them know her progress through the process and her final decision. All were very appreciative. At the end of the year she invited them to her senior recital and about half were able to attend. When I talked to them they mentioned how much they enjoyed it when she kept them updated and talked about her decision process.</p>
<p>Another nice touch (and a lesson in thoughtfulness for our young'uns) is for the new college freshman to drop a note to each rec-writer sometime during the first few months at college to share something good about the new school and thank the writer, again, for his/her part in helping make this possible.</p>
<p>Back when I was writing recommendations, the gift cards made me feel a bit cheap ("what, that recommendation was worth $10 at Starbucks?"). However, I liked the students who gave me something less expensive but more thoughtful (and less anonymous): an interesting book from the used book store with a nice note inside; a tiny box of handmade truffles; a chocolate bar with a nice note; a CD of the student's favorite music (I've actually asked students to do this, because it keeps me aware of new music); etc. The nice note, of course, is a key part of any thank you.</p>
<p>Oh, boy. I certainly hope we did not offend the teacher's by giving a gift card with a thank you note--they did seem to appreciate it. It is my hope that they interpreted it as it was intended--a small token of gratitude for something that is not measurable in terms of value....I know I am always touched by small tokens such as this in my work with children and families and always think the best of the gift, however small---even that Starbucks gift card was likely meant with the best intentions( and they all certainly know I need my coffee to get going in the morning!)</p>
<p>Momof2sons- I'm sure that, knowing you and your student, the teachers understood the meaning the gift. Don't sweat this one!!!!!</p>
<p>Thanks for all your suggestions!!! The CD idea is perfect for one of the teachers as my son shares a common love of a particular band with her.</p>
<p>Momof2sons: it's the gift cards WITHOUT the thank you note that are offensive. At least to me.</p>
<p>Thank you note is mandatory and gets sent immediately.</p>
<p>Gifts get sent AFTER acceptances are received! :D</p>
<p>I think I did thank you notes and baked goods for the teachers who wrote my recs, except for one teacher who also served as head of athletics. I don't remember what I did for him. I think a book that you enjoyed and think the teacher would like and a thank you note would be really nice too. </p>
<p>Keeping teachers updated throughout the admissions process is important, but it's also important to remember to keep these teachers updated on big things in your life (or little things) while you're in college, too.</p>
<p>We did thank you notes and fancy chocolates. We were a bit slow and didn't end up getting them until we were running around at accepted student's weekends. But then it was easy to say something like, "your letter must have helped me get into x, y and z. Thanks for helping me to have such great choices."</p>
<p>I ran to my recommenders the day that I got into my first choice with bottles of champagne...they were really happy to know the outcome ASAP.</p>
<p>We gave gift certificates. S's GC, who managed to get everything out within a day of winter break, was also given a pen from Levenger's. I still feel gratitude to 2 teachers who wrote recom letters on the eve of break.</p>
<p>If a child knows an interest of the teacher, then I'd go with a specific gift, like a CD or book (with gift receipt so they can exchange).</p>
<p>All great suggestions - DD did thank you notes shortly after making request (she knew they had been turned in promptly to GC) and when she made her decision at end of year, bought small gifts (Pens, notecards, etc.) from college for teacher, GC, and guidance secretary (who probably is more than a little responsible for paperwork going where it belongs in a timely fashion). I think the person who was most surprised was the secretary - she was really touched. </p>
<p>(I'm sure champagne would have been appreciated by some - but we live in a very, very conservative community - wouldn't have risked it!)</p>
<p>I think we gave a little basket around the holidays with little treats in it. Later, in the spring, after she had decided, etc., my daughter got them something personal. For her math teacher she got a book about numbers that she thought he'd enjoy -- he was thrilled. I can't remember what she got her other teacher but she put a lot of thought into those gifts.</p>
<p>Agree with siliconvalleymom--be sure to go back to the teacher and let them know the results of the applications. Let's them know that their efforts weren't in vain.</p>
<p>I am coming late to this discussion and have to say that I have never heard of this practice before. Is it really standard procedure to give the teachers gifts? If it is not done, is it looked upon as rude? This is really all news to me...</p>