<p>for the recs?</p>
<p>I just gave them thank you gifts today.</p>
<p>D waited till her acceptances were in and she had chosen a school, then ordered nice, heavy, glass beer steins with the school logo from the bookstore, filled them with homemade fudge and attached a thank you note. I thought it was a nice personal approach. Teachers and guidance counselor got something to eat that took some effort, plus a lasting reminder of how their recommendations meant something for one student.</p>
<p>It’s best to give a handwritten thank-you note immediately after the teacher sends the recc. Gifts aren’t necessary. After the student chooses a college, some students give teachers a souvenir from the college they selected.</p>
<p>I’m advising daughter to wait until all her rec requests are done, then hopefully until they’ve written the note. I think anything PRIOR to that smacks of "I’m giving you a note/gift SO that you’ll write good recs, instead of “THANKS for having already written my recs”. </p>
<p>I LOVE the idea of school affiliated merchandise. Most “gifts” would be trinkets they couldn’t use anyway, let’s face it. But at least this is meaningful. I hate to have my D wait that long, but…that’s a great idea. </p>
<p>FYI…to those of you with great high school counselors…they play a part too, and often have to give their own recs (depending on the school/program to which you’re applying). So don’t forget those counselors.</p>
<p>The written thanks should be given right after after the reccs go in. If a student wants to give a gift like a school mug or banner, they can give that after they’ve decided on what college to attend. The thank-you note, however, is for writing the reccs – not for getting into college (which is up to adcoms, not the teachers), so should be done right after the reccs are done.</p>
<p>I don’t think there are any real “shoulds” here. Teachers and guidance counselors are busy people and are hardly keeping track and fretting about who writes a thank you note now or later. Of course a gift before a recommendation issues smacks of bribery, but beyond an immediate oral thank you at the time the person commits to writing the recommendation, a note or token gift can be given any time before the student graduates and will surely be appreciated whenever it arrives. I personally feel that a thoughtful note written after a student has selected a school, has things in perspective, and can talk a bit about the future says more than a pefunctory “thanks for the recs” message sent early in the process. But again, so long as gratitude is shown, there are no hard and fast rules.</p>
<p>"Teachers and guidance counselors are busy people and are hardly keeping track and fretting about who writes a thank you note now or later. "</p>
<p>I don’t think that’s true. I was a very busy college professor – raising kids and helping my elderly mother. I treasured the thank-you notes that I got from students, and I still keep them even though I haven’t taught for 10 years. I also remembered with distaste the students who didn’t bother to write thank-you notes and who didn’t even bother to tell me what grad schools accepted them.</p>
<p>Students are busy, but they manage to keep track of who has sent their recommendations, why wouldn’t busy teachers who do favors for their students that can take as long as one hour per letter remember who bothered to show appreciation?</p>
<p>And certainly the note should say more than, “Thanks for the recc” whenever it’s given. Presumably the student picked the teacher because the student had a reasonably close relationship with the teacher, has respect for the teacher, and had done well in the teacher’s class. The letter should reflect those things, too, not just say, “Thanks for the recc. Sincerely,…”</p>
<p>After the student has chosen a college, it would be appropriate for the student to again thank–verbally or in writing – the people like the GCs and teachers who helped with applications, and to let those people know which college the student had chosen.</p>
<p>If doing these things seems like too much to bother with for students, it may be helpful for them to remember that they may need to get recommendation letters from those teachers again for summer jobs and other opportunities that may occur before college or early during freshman year before they’ve gotten to know any professors well.</p>
<p>Northstarmom, you misunderstood me. I wrote, “so long as gratitude is shown, there are no hard and fast rules”. I certainly would never suggest completely neglecting a thank you note, and I’m sure teachers do recall which students show no appreciation at all. I’m just pointing out, in response to the OP’s inquiry, that the timing is not important, and is at the student’s discretion. I’m sure my D’s teachers and guidance counselor didn’t give two hoots whether they received her little gifts and notes in November or April, and by the following year will certainly not recall the timing. I also don’t consider writing a recommendation a “favor”. At the high school level (don’t know about college profs), it’s part of their job. A high school teacher can certainly decline to write a recommendation for a student he can’t in good conscience recommend, but can’t simply refuse to write any recommendations, and of course it’s a major part of the guidance counselor’s role. On the other hand, being asked post-graduation to write a recommendation for a ex-student’s job or internship (which strikes me as a rare request) would constitute a big favor, indeed.</p>
<p>" I’m just pointing out, in response to the OP’s inquiry, that the timing is not important, and is at the student’s discretion."</p>
<p>I understood you. I think that the timing is important. Students expect that teachers will provide recommendations in a timely way, and the same is true of thank-yous. Seems rude to me to wait 4 or 5 months to write a thank-you note. Yes, while it’s better late than never, but doing the note right after the reccs have been sent is even better.</p>
<p>The months between when reccs get sent out and when acceptances are received also are times when teachers and GCs may be getting follow-up calls from college admissions officers or may be nominating students for various awards. That’s more reason for students to provide thank-yous in a timely way. The recommenders are likely to do more to support the students who’ve already shown appreciation than the ones who are waiting until April to send their thank-yous.</p>
<p>northstar…I personally took some small offense to your wording that things SHOULD BE GIVEN and SHOULD BE DONE, as opposed to your offering your <em>opinion</em> to OP. So perhaps that was why Mommaj was reminding OP that this forum is for offering up our own personal circumstances so that he/she can make their decision. OP is surely aware there are no exacting answers…just seeing what people think overall. I’m glad our way worked for you, but it’s not necessarily THE only answer. No one is suggesting the kids don’t do it. We’re talking about timing and OP felt a little unsure so they wanted to see what others did. It’s OK for all of us to have a little bit of a difference of opinion in what works for us. Then the OP gets to sort it. Lots of paths lead to the same end result in most things.</p>
<p>At our school (private) many parents give gift cards/certificates to local retail malls or fine restaurants in the $50-100 range. Some have also given prepaid Visa/Amex/MC cards in varying amounts. All gifts are accompanied by a handwritten thank-you note from the student.</p>
<p>Unless, the college also happens to be the teacher’s alma mater, I would stay away from the logo items…how many coffee mugs bearing different university names does a person need? In this wretched economy, I think a gc for either a luxury treat or a basic staple goes a long way with our ridiculously underpaid educators.</p>
<p>Thanks all for the heartily replies. I think the card now gift after acceptance idea is a fine one. I think I might give the thankyou cards the week before winter break, so they’ve already or almost sent out the recs for RD. How does this sound?</p>
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<p>I disagree with this. One polite way to remind your teachers to write the recs is to give them a thank you note. That’s why I gave it to them before the recs were due but not immediately after I gave them the rec.</p>
<p>I never gave them a gift, but I wouldn’t give that until all the recs were in, or better, wait until you hear back the results.</p>