Please help. My DS ( senior) is extremely anxious about one of the teacher’s recommendation. He asked the teacher at the end of the junior year. He had this teacher for two years in the core subject and seemed to be they had good relationships, he was active in the class and one of the best students . The teacher never asked for his resume , they did not meet to discuss recommendation ( the other teachers do it) . DS followed up several times in vain, and finally he ran into this teacher couple of days ago and asked him when he is going to complete the letter . The teacher seemed to be annoyed by the question and replied that he had several other recommendations to write on this day. Now , DS is anxious, he cannot trust the teacher , that the letter could at best generic or at worst just bad . He realised that just several kids asked this teacher for recommendations and there is a reason for it. DS wants to withdraw this letter . The problem , his choice is limited to his junior year math teacher who is pretty busy with recommendations. Or a senior year teacher who does not know him well , but he has a good rapport with her. What would be the best approach ? DS has pretty good statistics and scared that one potentially bad letter can ruin everything.
I would move on and ask another teacher to write the letter. My suggestion would be to go with the senior year teacher who doesn’t know him well. He can meet with her and provide his resume as well as giving her some background information what he is applying for and what attributes might be important for that school/major. Remember on the common ap you invite the reference writers to attach their letters. He can just not include the teacher who is annoyed.
I don’t know a single teacher of Juniors who doesn’t have a stack of letters to write. Nor do I know one who has a conference with each of those kids. The letters are supposed to be about our impression of the kids; I don’t need the input of the kid to write that letter.
I’m not sure exactly what the teacher has done to be deemed untrustworthy.
If your son didn’t give the teacher a resume, then I imagine the teacher will write the letter without one. He’s taught your son for two years; the letter should be easy enough to write.
Furthermore, I don’t know a single teacher who would write a bad letter. I can understand being a little annoyed at being stopped out of nowhere and asked when I was going to get around to a particular letter-- these things take some serious time to complete if you’re going to do a good job. And right now most of us are buried with tests and quizzes and progress grades and a million other things. But we’ve all been through this before, and the work will get done-- professionally and in plenty of time to beat the deadlines. Momentary annoyance doesn’t translate into a bad letter; the teacher shook off the annoyance before he arrived at his next class and got on with life.
I would counsel your son to take a deep breath and just move on. I don’t see this as an issue at all.
bjkmom, DS’s school is small , the particular teacher had to write a reference letter just for 6 students . His approach to write six letters on the same afternoon after being approached several times during the past month worries my son a me as well. DS asked him if he should provide the resume , but the teacher chosen not to respond. DS is naive , apparently a very small number of his classmates asked this particular teacher for recommendation even after being in his class for 2 years . Now DS intuitively feels that something does not work well. According to him, the school counselor said , that in their school it is common practice for the teacher to ask for the student for resume and talk to the student .
Well, if your students,wants to withdraw his request to the teacher, I am sure that would be ok. Other than on this website, I have never heard of a teacher meeting with or getting a resume from a student in connection with a letter. The letter is supposed to address the student’s academic skill set and contributions to class, which the teacher presumably already knows.
My daughter had one recommender who wanted to talk and hash through the resume. The other had her for two years and felt he didn’t need either resume or meeting. IMO, you need to just let this go and trust that the teacher will get it done and it will reflect your child’s performance in the classes.
My younger son asked his APUSH teacher about getting a recommendation at the end of junior year. This teacher was very popular and wrote good recommendations. He culled the herd by asking the students to do some work too. If I remember correctly they had to:
Say where they were applying and why they chose these particular colleges
Write a few sentences about what their favorite textbook had been and why
Provide a copy of one of their graded essays
Remind the teacher what their AP score was
I don’t think he asked for a resume or wanted to know what they were doing outside class, but he did what to be able to address in more detail how the kid thought and what kind of intellect they had. My son did better than expected with acceptances and also gave pretty thoughtful answers to the teachers questions, so I’m guessing that this teacher’s letter was probably exceptionally good.
That said, most teachers can write a perfectly nice letter based just on their memory.
Also it can be tone:
Big difference between:
Mr Goldman, when are you going to complete my letter?
vs
Mr. G: I was just wondering if you had a chance to write my recommendation letter yet?
Teachers from our private HS did ask for information prior to the recommendation with a 10-20 question survey the student had to complete. It wasn’t just a resume, but a resume made for that class - I thought the questions asked were really good for the student to reflect upon and gave the teacher a lot of good information to use rather than relying on memory. What can be really significant to a student may not be obvious to the teacher - by asking questions, the teacher had great reference info to use while the student (and parent) were comfortable that important aspects were at least noted. Some of the questions were very thought provoking and gave the the teacher better opportunity to create a letter with more detailed substance.
Teachers at our kids’ private HS don’t ask for a resume or meet with the kids. We have no idea what our S’s teachers wrote. That said, if you’re worried, I too would suggest S ask another teacher and have his resume with him when asking, say he brought it in case the teacher might find it helpful.
If you have that little faith in the teacher, then do the teacher a favor and ask someone else.
When my son was a H.S. junior he was at a large school (1400) students. Not only did the teachers writing recommendations ask for a resume and inquire what the student was planning to major in, the guidance counselor requested resume and has parent and student fill out information sheets. They wanted to know more about what the student had done outside of school or even school so that they had a full profile of the student to help them write the letter. At these large schools a guidance counselor may not know a student at all and a teacher may just know a 40 minute slice of a student who sits in their class.
I understand the OP concern. One would like to think all teachers care greatly about their student’s futures and will write the very best letter they can, but sadly some could care less and would write a lackluster one.
I think it has a lot to do with tone. I understand how anxious a student can be about their letters of recommendation. I coached my kids to ask if the teacher had received the requested information (resume) and if they had received their invite. Then to ask if there was anything else he/she could provide to help. End of story. One of my son’s recommenders was his teacher and coach who had known him for 4 years and they were very close. He was very helpful to her during a time when she was dealing with an illness in her family and took on leadership/mentoring responsibilities to help her with the team she coached. I believe her letter was submitted a day or two before the deadline. Teachers understand the importance of these letters and they get them done - just maybe not in the time frame, our kids would like.
Luckily I think most teachers know that students are anxious and won’t hold it against them.
Thank you all for advice . Issue was resolved, DS decided to submit the recommendation. Hopefully , it will be OK . It is too late to ask a different teacher .
Does the GC view the teacher recommendations? While most schools may not do this, smaller schools sometimes do to make sure the rec is well written and a positive for the student. Remember that it’s not in the school’s best interest to be a thumb on the scale for students.
I’m glad your issue was resolved. I’m starting to stress about LORs for my DS. He finally asked teachers in person yesterday and one of them said he wouldn’t/couldn’t write it. Don’t know if he told DS why not, but DS did not relay that to me and it totally makes me wonder whether it’s a character thing with DS (who is a bit quirky), rather than the teacher not having the time. DS is asking his “back up” today and if that teacher says no, he’s screwed.
@My3Kiddos Now is a little late to be asking…the teacher probably already has a list full of requests.