I’m a high school senior and I have a 3 month old daughter who I will be taking with my to college next year. Her father and I are not together but he is involved in her life, so I won’t be able to go to a school out of state.
I live in the Dallas, TX area. The reason I’m posting this so late with only 2 months left until most application deadlines is because I’ve known I would get automatic admissions into UT Austin because I am in the top 7% of my class (I was a very good student before I got pregnant). So, I’ve had plans that I would go to UT with my daughter and her father was willing to go to a community college there if he didn’t get into UT Austin.
For some reason he’s decided he doesn’t want to move to Austin so now I have to apply to schools elsewhere in Texas. I want him to be in my daughter’s life so I’m just going to have to live with his decision and find somewhere else to go to. I’ve applied to UT-Dallas, SMU (hoping to get merit money), and UNT. I’m looking to see if there are any other colleges in the north Texas area I could get good merit scholarships at. They also need to let me live off campus. I won’t be able to commute from home because my parents don’t want me living with them next year. SMU and UNT have strict requirements that freshmen must live on campus but I have been in contact with them and am trying to work something out. Other schools have not been willing to change their rule at all, which really limits my options.
These are my stats:
GPA: 3.85 unweighted (My grades slipped a lot in the second semester of junior year for obvious reasons but I’ve been getting good grades so far in senior year so I’m hoping that downward trend won’t be too much of an issue)
SAT: 2230 (800 R, 680 M, 750 W)
Courseload: I’m in the full IB diploma program, which is how I’ve managed to still be in the top 7% of my class even with my bad junior year grades (my weighted GPA is high)
My parents aren’t willing to help me take care of my daughter when I go to college but they have agreed to help me pay for college. They said the most they’ll pay per year is $15-20k.
Sorry this post is so long and I’m probably leaving some other helpful information out, so please let me know if you want to know more before helping me. Thank you so much for any advice you may have.
I’m not going to pretend I can understand what it’s like to be in your situation, but I think you should think really carefully about whether you’re making the best decision for yourself. I don’t question that you know what’s best for your daughter, but your needs should come before the needs of her father.
@lalalemma I hadn’t considered TCU, I will definitely check it out and see what kinds of options I would have there. Thank you for your recommendation
UT Austin would absolutely be best for me, but at this point I have to put my daughter before myself and what’s best for her is growing up around both her parents. Plus his family is a lot more willing to help us out than my family is, so living close to home might end up being better for me in the long term. Thank you for your advice though.
I live in that area too, I think UT Dallas would probably be a good fit (I know you already said you’ve applied there) because a lot of people I know who are freshmen there live off campus, so that wouldn’t be an issue. They give a lot of merit money and you have a good GPA and SAT score so you’d probably get a lot. And you get to stay around your baby’s dad/family. What are you planning on studying?
@“Erin’s Dad” At this point, I think living by his family is best for everyone involved. I don’t think I’d be able to keep up with my classes and everything if I had no support system. I really appreciate your concern though
@Endora My stats aren’t good enough for Rice, and I’m not “hooked” in any way so I’m not going to apply there. I’m still figuring the financial side of everything out, because I do qualify as an independent but my parents are contributing to my tuition too, so I’m working all of that out.
@bssurly I’m thinking UTD is going to work out best too, for the same reasons you said. I’m still hoping to test out other options before I make a final decision though. I’m hoping to major in something STEM related, but I haven’t figured out the specifics yet. I’ve wanted to go to med school for a while, and my goal was to apply to BS/MD programs but life happened and I don’t see that happening anymore. So I’m looking at other paths right now.
You are apt to find a more sympathetic faculty within a nursing program vs. MD. But if you die hard set on being an MD I’m not trying to talk you out of it. It can be done.
I think you ASAP need to apply to TCU. You might find some strong merit there.
UT Arlington would get you a lot of merit with those stats—essentially free tuition. They have strong pre-med/pre-nursing classes.
At some point you should look into the on-campus child care options. Universities often have great child care centers but the waiting lists are long. At my U, women were trying to sign up before they became pregnant so now they have to show proof of pg. Even if the list is long, it would be useful to get on it to keep your care options open for future years.
You can still apply to UT Austin and decide in the spring what the best option is for you. Here’s a link to some resources at UT for students who are also parents: https://familylife.utexas.edu/resources
You sound like a responsible parent. I am going to agree that the key to you completing college and med school is going to be reliable child care and great last minute back up childcare plans A, B and C. You cannot just leave your child anywhere. Living near 2 sets of grandparents and maybe even siblings, aunts and uncles that can have your back will give you the support you need to graduate. This cannot be over emphasized. Good luck with you plans and explore your local possibilities. You will need so much more cash to support your child than you can even imagine so good for you for being realistic. I think you can do it!!
As someone who have been in your position. Staying close to a support system and help is a good idea.
You are consider indpendent for federal financial aid if you have a child. As for state and individual school aid it may differ from state to state and school to school.
I would apply to UT-Austin (and maybe to Rice too) just to keep your options open. You may be thinking differently six months from now, why limit yourself at this point? That said, UT-Dallas and UT-Arlington are reasonable options if you want to stay closer to your existing support system. Good luck to you!
OP, I just want to say that you sound like you are already an awesome parent. You’re putting your baby first but also taking care of yourself and your education. My mother finished a training program for nursing when I was a teenager and it was one of the best things she ever did. It gave her a career to be proud of, but for me as her daughter, it also exemplified the importance of working towards your dreams and of a woman having her own training and career.
I understand needing to stay nearby your baby’s father and his family. Family support is a HUGE factor, and for women who go to college with children, family support is a huge determinant in them finishing. That’s not about hormones; that’s thinking practically. There’s also the chance that your own family will come around eventually and will help you later on. I agree that you should still apply to UT-Austin and some other places you were originally envisioning to see if you could make it work, but it’s good policy to concentrate on thinking local.
Texas is HUGE. There was an article and accompanying map that came out a few months ago that showed how much of the U.S. was closer to Austin than El Paso was, and it was a giant swath. Houston (where Rice is) is 3.5 hours away from Dallas; Austin is 3 hours away. Would be great if she only needed to go home on the weekends, but it’s a long drive in an emergency situation.
I think the schools you already mentioned (SMU, UTD, UNT) plus UT Arlington are your best moves. You might be able to transfer to UT-Austin when she’s a bit older. There’s also Texas A&M- Commerce, which is in the Dallas metro area, and Texas Woman’s University, in Denton, which is also in the metro area. Both are about an hour drive, which may still be too far for you. Texas Christian University and Texas Wesleyan University are both in Fort Worth; Baylor is in Waco, an 1.5 south. There’s also a small LAC named Austin College, which is actually in Sherman 60 miles north of Dallas.
But the four options you named first are probably better than the other ones.
I agree having a support base for your baby is paramount (especially the first couple of years), and you’re taking a mature and responsible approach. But it wouldn’t hurt to also apply to UT-Austin and Rice just to keep your options open and also so that if you don’t go to UT-A now but transfer in a year or two, you will have (hopefully) already have been accepted (that doesn’t guarantee the transfer but it might make things easier). Rice is known to give good FA.
Whatever you do, I wish you and your baby good luck!
Thank you all so much for your advice!!! I didn’t expect this many people to reply at all.
@carachel2 I’m considering nursing school, I think it would be a good alternative. I’ll definitely look into UT Arlington. @Endora @guitar321 thank you @naviance thank you!! @sensation723 I definitely agree. @mamaedefamilia I’m not sure about Rice, but I’ll still keep my mind open about UT Austin! @juillet thank you so much for all your advice. @insanedreamer I hadn’t thought about transferring after a couple years, that’s a good idea. I’ll think about that.
