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<p>Interrupting this thread for a minute. If you’ve ever seen the War Memorial at Woolsey Hall at Yale, you know why the prof was unimpressed. Lin’s design was basically derived from it. It’s an excellent design. She adapted it, but when you submit a variant of a design that your prof sees every day, he’s less likely to be impressed.</p>
<p>I wish you would stop generalizing. People who went to Ivies have exactly one thing in common with one another - they went to Ivies. They do not have special insight into the meaning of life that those of us who went to mere top schools missed out on. </p>
<p>Badge value is really important to you as a validation of yourself. You know, you’d be a worthwhile human being even if you’d “only” gone to UTexas. Or do you not believe that?</p>
<p>Dbate, that’s exactly the point - you are obsessing over the grades as a way of distracting yourself from coming to terms with being gay. What if you had gotten a 4.0 this semester? You’d still be gay. I think you need to get to a place of fully accepting that before you can make any other progress. Good news is, it’s perfectly fine.</p>
<p>Sorry, Debate, but I spent quite a bit of time putting together what I thought was a post of pretty worthwhile advice on another thread you started recently about your troubles. This was based on my own experience with my son, who seems to share some of the same perfectionist traits and out sized goals as you. This time around, I thought your arrogance was showing. jmo. Anyway, now that you’ve introduced the gay angle, I doubt anyone will post what they may really be thinking since your woes seem outside of the bounds of message board advice.</p>
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<p>LOL. By it’s very definition a forum is a place where random people that you don’t know anything about post messages. Even if you ‘feel’ that you know someone because they have posted here a long time, in reality, you have no way of knowing if what they are posting is true or not. They (we) are presenting what they (we) want others to see - we have no idea if that is who they really are or not. (Not a jab at JHS or NMS or any other poster here - just the realities of an internet forum). </p>
<p>So when you post a thread, you are indeed soliciting the advice of random strangers. It’s up to you whether to listen to it or not. For me, one of the most attractive features of a forum is you are likely to get a lot of different views. However, I am old enough and experienced enough to be able to pick out the good advice from the not-so-good. If you aren’t interested in anyone but JHS or NSM’s advice then you really should PM them, email them or call them instead of posting a thread on a public forum.</p>
<p>Dbate - I don’t know your CC history but I really do hope you have some adults, in real life, with whom you can seek counsel. A parent, family member, friend of the family, a school counselor, your family physician. I would hate to think my 18 year old was seeking advice from *random strangers * on the internet, particularly if he had the set of problems you are currently presenting. It sounds like you have some major issues going on aside from getting a 3.4 GPA and could do with some professional help. Good luck.</p>
<p>You are not an idiot.</p>
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<p>Oh I loved UT, and it was my number one choice throughout high school, until I saw Yale’s financial aid.</p>
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<p>Subconsciously I know. I know my grades are not terrible, and that I will still be able to get into the medical schools I want and have nothing to be worried about. It just feels as if my future is so uncertain now that…well now that things are not going quite as planned.</p>
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<p>I could never in my life talk to any family member about this. I would be disowned and immediately thrown out of my house. Thanks everyone for the advice though. I am going to take your suggestion and go relax. I am going to see the Avatar movie with friends in about 2 hours. Thanks!</p>
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<p>I like you Dbate and I think you are smart, but your posts display the attitude of a poor student. You don’t want to ask for help because it makes you feel stupid to do so; you are more concerned with the grade that is assigned than the work that the grade represents (a 94 is a 94, no matter whether it is called an A or A- ); and you are ready to give up at the first sign of adversity.</p>
<p>College should be a challenge – if it is not, you would be wasting tuition money to chalk up a credential without much learning going on. Part of the process is the ability to rise to the challenge. </p>
<p>LIFE will be a challenge. Certainly medical school and the practice of medicine would be a challenge; but law school is challenging as well. </p>
<p>You are definitely NOT an “idiot”… but success in life isn’t about innate intelligence, its about hard work, discipline, and a positive attitude. A strong dose of confidence and faith in yourself doesn’t hurt, and you seem to be wavering in that area. </p>
<p>I think that some students run into problems in college because they were under-challenged in high school. They have gotten the idea that they can easily master material and earn A’s, and simply haven’t learned to cope with adversity. If you opted for Yale thinking it would be easy – or because you thought you could coast along on “grade inflation” – then you opted for Yale for the wrong reasons. You must have some classmates who chose Yale because they wanted a high-quality, demanding education – and I am sure there are students who are delighted that the cut-off for an A is 95, whether or not they made it, simply because some students love a challenge. I am not saying that you need to also feel that way – but you owe it to yourself to focus on what you are actually learning instead of obsessing about the grades.</p>
<p>Dbate:</p>
<p>I have nothing to say about your identity issues that others have not already addressed, so I will confine myself to academic matters.</p>
<p>Many students give themselves an out by fulfilling pre-med requirements while majoring in something else. Two students I’ve known at Harvard who did so were: one Social Studies
major who wrote his senior thesis on the politics of archeology in another country and one who was an American history major. I know of other students who’ve gotten great jobs with the Clinton Foundation and the Gates Foundation because they were able to combine some expertise in science with a strong background in politics and experience living abroad. Since you are not quite sure whether you want to become a physician, you may try this tack.</p>
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<p>Why do you think that? I’ve seen many students on CC seek advice on the parents’ forums on LGBT/coming out issues. Especially when they know that their family is homophobic and that seeking advice from parents and other family members would be futile at best and horrendously damaging at worst. Fortunately, most of the parents who post here don’t seem to look at this subject the way DBate’s family apparently does.</p>
<p>Ooooo, Avatar – my sons tried to go see it TWICE last week, and both times they couldn’t get in because it was sold out!! Go early!!</p>
<p>(I’m trying to focus on the fact that there’s a lot more to life than grades and sexual orientation. Go be silly! Go have fun!!)</p>
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<p>This sounds interesting. I am going to try to convince myself that grades are a terrible proxy by which to judge oneself and try some out of the box things. I really like my biology classes (I LOVED lectures even when I wasn’t doing so well) so I will probably major in that and take a lot of poli sci classes because they are easier (I still kind of care about my GPA). Then I can offset my low science GPA with higher level biology classes. </p>
<p>I realize I must sound like a whiny, insecure, arrogant jerk through all my posts here on CC and I apologize. For me CC is more of a catharsis than most probably realize, because it is one of the few places I can be honest about my worries in life. I, however, understand that I am being selfish and that it is rude to impose on people in this manner. So I do apologize and would like this thread to be closed.</p>
<p>hey Dbate,</p>
<p>I am a 2nd year Engr’ing student at a UC school in Cali. I just wanted to share my advice when I entered college over a year ago. Unlike you I was denied my first choices (praying for Cal/LA, but realistically hoping for UCSD). I didn’t get it. I was very upset and the fact that my parents seemed to doubt my abilities annoyed me. Sr. of HS was awful for me in many aspects. However, as the year wound down I told myself this: I would enter college assuming two things:
<p>Sounds like you came in being overly confidant and let your guard down. The first year my GPA was above 3.6 taking numerous science/math courses along with a sprinkling of “easier” GE’s. This last quarter that I just finished was a total disaster, I hit ~3.0 and it dropped my GPA to ~3.4 and I’m feel some what like you feel. I have come to accept it and realize that it was my fault and no one else’s. Seriously, get over your ego–ASK For help. And I’d also like to add–no one is <em>too</em> to good to never have to ask for help. I wish you the best, you seem lost and disoriented…</p>
<p>EDIT–I just wanted to say that I considered signing up for tutoring for my first Multi-variable Calc my very first quarter, but it didn’t seem helpful and I thought that I could suck up the material on my own. I got away with it with an A. However, the material got harder and although I did go to drop by tutoring for physics, it wasn’t enough my 3rd quarter. I had E/M physics and it was HARD. My friend signed up for tutoring, worked her @ss off and got an A-, I only got a B. Needless to say, I was disappointed, but it goes to show you that getting help DOES help and there’s nothing wrong with it.</p>
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<p>Top 30% of the class had 3.72 or better. You need to learn what the top in Yale are doing.</p>
<p>There are some good English language medical schools in Ukraine, Mexico, Grenada, and others.</p>
<p>“Many students give themselves an out by fulfilling pre-med requirements while majoring in something else. Two students I’ve known at Harvard who did so were: one Social Studies”</p>
<p>Interesting. When I was at Harvard, social studies was known as the major for the truly brilliant. Many students were in obviously premed majors like biology and biochem. Few made the cut to get into and stay in soc stud.</p>
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<p>Well, I for one don’t think you sound arrogant. </p>
<p>I’ve read a number of your threads and I’ve noticed a pattern. It seems like there is always something negative bothering you, something serious enough to threaten your identity. </p>
<p>Awhile ago I think you posted that you thought you might not deserve admission at Yale because of affirmative action. (I think this was you–if it wasn’t I apologize.) So you were stewing about this instead of concentrating on your classes 100%. </p>
<p>Then it was the homosexuality issue that was occupying your mind, and you admit sometimes you even missed class due to depression.</p>
<p>Now it’s your GPA that is bothering you, somethin that you say may have partially been caused by the first two issues.</p>
<p>It seems like there is always something occupying your mind which threatens your identity and is suggesting to you that you are worthless. If it’s not the GPA, it would be something else. You need to learn to recognize that these signals from your brain are false signals, and that they don’t represent the truth. </p>
<h2>Maybe I’m totally wrong here and I just have 3 data points to go on. But it’s something to consider. Also, I can’t give you advice on the coming out issue, but since you say you were a person who tries to plan everything out I will just tell you this: I don’t think God expects you to figure out your entire life as a 18-yr-old freshman. Leave some of your issues on the backburner and don’t worry about them. Just concentrate on school and try to enjoy your free time. Well, enough of the armchair psychoanalysis.</h2>
<p>Advice about school:
First thing I noticed was that you took too many hard classes, especially for your first semester. I would drop cell bio next semester and concentrate on chem. Chem is very important for premeds and it would offset your “B” your first semester if you got an “A-” next semester. It is no advantage whatsoever to load up your schedule in terms of med school admissions. In my experience, you may find that o. chem is easier for you than gen. chem. P. Chem is typically the hardest class for premeds, especially if you find math challenging–but premeds usually get a “B” in it and its not the end of the world if you do. </p>
<p>Another thing: your impulse about not going to a tutor is a good one in general, but not for college. In general, yes, you do want to figure out things for yourself and not follow things blindly. In college, you do need to learn to force yourself to go to tutors/TAs. For some of your classes, there will be no way to know how to do it. For example, in your lab classes, you might give your lab reports to your TA early and ask him/her for feedback. Some of the grading is subjective and you need to figure out what they want. </p>
<p>I don’t know anything about your study skills, but you should always do the assigned reading before the lecture, not after. Do all the homework/assigned problems, and give yourself plenty of time to do that. And force yourself to attend office hours of your TAs/profs most of the time. At the very least, you can discuss your understanding of the material with them even if you aren’t in dire need of help. </p>
<p>And btw, Harvard med is as holistic as HYP admissions. So you’re never really out of it. I knew an MIT bio major that got in Harvard Med with a 2.8/4.0. And there was nothing special about him (no olympic medal, no cure for cancer.)</p>
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My doctor went to Yale for undergraduate and Harvard for medical school. He did have a bad first semester. I remember he told my daughter not to take too many honors classes because of his bad first semester. He said he had to play catch up for the rest of his undergraduate years. It’s not the news that you want to hear but at least he did improve on his first bad semester and got into Harvard.</p>
<p>Receiving a 3.45 is not a bad semester</p>
<p>You are not an idiot, dear. You have gotten good input here and from your advisors. I was a NMF and had to go to my college TAs every day for help with Chem. That’s what they were there for. I also visited my prof sometimes. I needed help and I got it. Nothing wrong with that. And after all that work and help I was grateful for a B. And I got into a great grad school.</p>
<p>I agree with collegealum314–no way should you expect to have your life figured out by now. Do what you love–take classes that interest you and a major will emerge. It might be something you’ve never even dreamed about. Doctors and lawyers are great, but there are hundreds of other career paths and a good UG education at a great school can lead you towards any of them. My son’s favorite babysitter went to Yale convinced she was pre-med. She is now a consultant on environmental issues, not because she couldn’t have gotten into med school, her interests just shifted.</p>
<p>Hope you enjoy the movie; my son did.</p>
<p>Happy New Year and give yourself some breaks. You have already achieved bigtime!</p>