<p>Have you ever considered telling all of your secrets? Having everything out there so you can see who will accept you? Never have to skirt around a subject? Just never have to worry about secrets because you wouldn't have any? Why keep secrets when they always seem to affect us so much? I think it would be like the world being lifted of my shoulders. Being able to walk around care-free. Of course, it is late and I tend to get a little philosophical....</p>
<p>Phsycolagggyy major or what</p>
<p>I would love to be able to confide all my deepest and darkest secrets in someone.</p>
<p>However, there is one main problem. To whom should I tell my secrets? Not my parents, for sure; they don’t understand such juvenile sentiments. Friends? I have some very good friends, with whom I have already shared some of my inner thoughts, but not all. I trust them, but on the other hand, some things are probably left better unsaid; I don’t want our friendships to pan out as it did in Tess of the D’Urbervilles. In addition, if I were to spill my heart out, that would lessen the value of my secrets. Finally, none of my friends have told me all their secrets yet either. I have been, however, slowly declassifying some things on my mind and trickling them out to friends. I do censor myself though - somethings are perhaps left better unspoken and I don’t wish to cheapen the value of my secrets.</p>
<p>And yes, I realize that sounds horrible. I’m censoring myself around my friends. Shouldn’t one be completely open around friends? Absolutely. But I’m not going to just release the contents of my psychology onto them. They can probe, and I will answer to the my best extent 99% of the time. </p>
<p>I’m just not ready to invest the time and effort to explain my inner workings, my psychology, my interpretation of who I am and why I am the way I am to friends. I would love to, but it does require considerable mutual investment - one, for me to explain - and two, for him or her to listen (and not judge too harshly). That kind of investment - I am only willing to put into a her - specifically, one who is more than just a friend.</p>
<p>The thing is, I don’t really have many secrets.</p>
<p>It’s more really private, deep thoughts I’ve shielded from people. Hmm, Thoughts that I’d like to express, but won’t because I’m unsure of the outcome. But I feel exposing these thoughts would be the same as spilling secrets, because at times they become really heavy and burdensome the longer they swell up in my mind without any commentary.</p>
<p>Hmm well I guess that’s what secrets are. I don’t know. I feel like they’re different in a way.</p>
<p>IceQube that was a big edit. nice post.</p>
<p>I would love to find someone with whom I could have an intimate conservation about our secrets. I think that we keep secrets partly to keep people interested in us; we use secrets to narcissistic ends. When someone is mysterious, we are naturally curious; we are naturally drawn to him or her. If we already knew everything about a person - if we already know exactly what their reaction or next move will be - then that person quickly becomes boring. There is something called “spontaneity” that I’ve seen tossed around to describe people and relationships.</p>
<p>Or perhaps I’m just full of it, and I’m really not as complex and interesting as I think I am. Perhaps I’m just the archetypal whatever and all this crap about secrets is just my inflating my own sense of self. </p>
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<p>Thanks :). Beating that 15-minute edit window as always :p.</p>
<p>You seem to be an admirer of my posts. What specifically do you like about my posts - is it the content, the style, or what :)? I’m very curious.</p>
<p>my best friend, who is a guy, and i have shared so many secrets and it only binds us closer together…you always need that one person who you can share anything with</p>
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<p>haha yeah :).</p>
<p>you type what you feel (at length :p), it’s genuine, some of it is interesting, and i relate to a portion of it. not to worry, i admire other people’s posts too :). (jimbosteve, wiscongene…). the thing about all of you is you have a high density of posts which makes me want to say something kind in response. plenty of people post thoughtful things as well but they do it less than you guys and/or there is a lot of noise. yeah.</p>
<p>Thank you enfieldacademy :)!! And yes, some people such as jimbosteve and wiscongene have some poignant posts.</p>
<p>^ yeah I agree with enfield, you seem to have very insightful posts :)</p>
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<p>:)! What are your thoughts on secrets?</p>
<p>In general, I would say that I am a very private person. I rarely tell my secrets to anyone, sometimes it can be a huge burden at times, since I never express my emotions fully. As you stated, some things are better left unsaid, but I just feel a huge burden would be lifted off my shoulders if I were to express my emotions more fully, since I tend to become uncommunicative at times. So, no–I haven’t really considered telling many of my secrets.</p>
<p>What secrets are you referring to? Embarrassing habits or pasttimes?</p>
<p>I defined secrets as any intimate knowledge - just things I’d keep to myself.</p>
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<p>that’s not horrible. some things ARE better left unspoken. that’s not necessarily a bad thing, and it doesn’t just apply to secrets either.</p>
<p>I don’t really have any deep, dark secrets. I’ve learned to be much more chill about life.</p>
<p>@IceQube you stated that really nicely.
I keep everything to myself, and sometimes it makes my friends pretty mad. I like having things that only I know, even though it weighs on me sometimes. Plus, I am very easily embarrassed, so I couldn’t imagine revealing my deepest, darkest secrets haha</p>
<p>Love the discussion going on here.
Allow me to further it by asking, would you be more willing to tell a total stranger you would never see again all your secrets or someone very close to you? I see that some of you have alluded to this, but more frank answers would be interesting.</p>
<p>i’m a very private person. However, it’s not because i wouldn’t want to share, it’s because i haven’t found a non-judgemental person in my entire family/friends. i don’t care if i’m sharing my secrets w/ someone i’m never going to see again or if it’s someone i’m close with. what matters is that, that person offers advice without judgement, but leaves the decision up to me.</p>
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<p>The first proposition is an interesting one. If I could spend a couple of intimate days with a stranger that I’m attracted to, I’d probably tell her, even if we part knowing that we’d never meet again. Why would I tell? Well, it’s cathartic. Second, revealing your secrets is enthralling. It strengthens the emotional bond between you and another, because you are entrusting the other with your private thoughts. And at my age, I don’t mind having the sort of verbal one-night-stand you propose. I find that being privy to one’s thoughts is fairly enthralling, if not always physically fulfilling ;).</p>
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<p>Thank you :)</p>
<p>I think I’ve had several of these verbal one-night stands. Most, have ended me never seeing the person again, but my best friends have turned out to be the ones that I continued to see. Unfortunately, not all was revealed and I still find myself censoring a lot. </p>
<p>I agree with IceQube. The process is cleansing and best done with someone you’re attracted to :D</p>