Telling your friends when applying to boarding school

Hi CC,
Like most teenagers, I love to talk to my friends about whatever is going on in my life, BS applications included. Obviously, there is always a chance that no matter how many safeties you apply to, you will be rejected from all schools and will stay at home. So, I was wondering how many, if any friends do you tell/talk to about your BS applications, because of the awkwardness that will arise if you get rejected and stay at home.

With my closest friends, it it a frequent topic of discussion (2 other very close friends are applying), more of a subject for jokes than real conversations of where we would go. Because of missing school, and it just slipping out in conversations, I would say that about 20-30 other kids in my grade know.

Happened to a kid in D2’s class. It was pretty embarrassing when she didn’t get accepted anywhere. Her mom had talked it up, too. If you can keep it to yourself, that isn’t all bad. There is plenty of time to share the news once you have acceptances.

@intparent agree. wait until m10 to mention it if you have good news to share;-)

DC is in a small private school where a large percentage of the kids are applying to BS. I suggested to stay mum about where they were applying. DC’s response was “That’s silly. They know me and they know I am a really good student. They also know lots of really good students don’t get into some of these schools. I don’t think they will put me down if I don’t get in.”

Which goes to show you which one of us is more mature.

1 Like

I’ve personally found it better to keep quiet about everything until I feel the absolute need to announce it to them. Whenever I try to weave in the topic of boarding schools into the discussion, the idea is (unfortunately) met with recoil, my friends saying statements such as, “Why would someone ever want to go through the suffering of going to school somewhere else?” Additionally, I find the decision of telling your friends as one of confidence. If you’re confident in your chances/emotionally strong enough to brave through the potential pain, then it would be easier to tell your friends.

The smartest move is to do what you need to do and keep it between only your family and very close friends. I found out the hard way what it is like to apply to a school and not get in. I didn’t apply to a boarding school but instead a fine arts academy and when I didn’t get in it was a little embarrassing. When all my friends had wanted me to stay a my current school because it’s a high school I was sad by their happiness for me staying but you grow from the whole thing. So I highly recommend limiting it to one friend and only family.

I think if it’s rare in your school yes, it probably won’t be understood. But if most of the kids in your school are applying, it’s very different.

1 Like

In GoatSchool, you don’t have an option of keeping it to yourself and your family. In 8th grade, several teachers ask all kids to state before the entire class the schools they will be attending next year (we are in a small K-8 private school). Since GoatPeople don’t go to New England boarding schools, GoatKid has had to endure some ridiculing. “Who wants to go to a school that sounds like a pimple cream (Exeter)?” “You wanna go to Suffer-field (Suffield)?” “Hotchkiss? What’s THAT?”