<p>May 1st is approaching, and many schools want students to respond to their offer of admission by this date. I have already decided which school I want to go to, and I have told the other schools that I will not be attending them... but the process was so difficult. I dreaded every moment of it. Don't get me wrong or anything, I really like the school I'm going to, but pressing that "Decline" button or checking that "I will not be attending X university" box created a odd lump in my throat and a heavy weight at the bottom of my stomach. I'm not sure why. Probably it's because I spent so much time on each and every one of those applications, working to make them absolutely perfect, and now I've basically flushed it all down the toilet. There was this one school that I've always wanted to go to until about two months ago when I was accepted by a school that I never thought I'd get accepted into. I saved the declining for this school last, and after I cancelled their acceptance, I wanted to cry. Literally.</p>
<p>Does anyone else want to share their experiences with declining offers of admission?</p>
<p>I was pretty hammered when I declined my acceptances… to be honest, I don’t remember declining a lot of them. Pretty sure the only ones I didn’t decline were the ones with long winded processes.</p>
<p>Hunh? There was no sentimentality on my part. I applied to 6 schools. Before decisions came in, I ranked them in order if and when accepts came in. One came in early (my highly ranked state school) with lots of scholarship money. That immediately cancelled out the lower three. In the end, all six accepted me – but as my ordering didn’t change, I accepted my first choice’s offer. It was a no-brainer. I was flattered by all the accepts but declining my 2nd and 3rd choices certainly didn’t elicit emotions. I attended an HYP but know in my heart that I would have had a wonderful time at the other schools I applied.</p>
<p>Well I got a mixed feeling. I really don’t want to decline any of my schools since I love all of them, but I’m also really excited about my chosen school.</p>
<p>He probably made the right decision. Families with means should do everything they can to make sure that their children attend the very best schools for them, although I can certianly understand your ambilavence!</p>
This comes from a well-known finding in psychology. People like to have choices available, and turning down those schools is closing off those choices. Read a book about psychology and decision making such as “Predictably Irrational” or “Stumbling on Happiness” (both pretty good reads, BTW) and you’ll find out more about this. Part of the pain you feel is the regret over all the good things you imagine would have happened at those schools; fun times, great friends, interesting classes, etc. Or in a more prosaic fashion, its why companies festoon their products with options and switches; people pay more for them “just in case” they someday need them. You don’t really need a vacuum cleaner with a setting for removing yak hair from your carpet, but its nice to know you could if you needed to ;)</p>
<p>This is exactly what my couselor told me after my Myers Brigg test–I view decisions not as a relieving moment of clarity but as the loss of other options. Some people, however, like to be decisive.</p>