<p>I've been trying to get up enough nerve to ask this.</p>
<p>My D will be [hopefully!] working on that required essay this summer, and she asked for my advice on a topic.</p>
<p>Let me set the stage for you. We are your stereotypical nuclear family. One child, adopted from overseas, and our closest family is > 1000 miles away.</p>
<p>Somewhere along the line, H's social drinking developed into alcoholism. Without elaborating on all the drama, we had some very dark points in our lives while D was a middle-schooler and young teen. Fortunately, H finally went into inpatient treatment, and now has been sober for 2 years. Fingers crossed!</p>
<p>Anyway, this has never been easy for D to talk about. I suggested that she consider writing her essay about this experience, partially because I think it would benefit her to write about it. I believe her choice of schools is related to her experiences. She is attracted to any school described as "close-knot", "bubble", "nurturing", etc. </p>
<p>A helpful CC-er suggested to me in a PM that this would not wise, that college admissions counselors get tired of reading about "when my Grandma died", and they'd rather admit happy students than sad students. I hadn't thought about it that way.</p>
<p>Would you shy away from this topic? Any advice would be appreciated!</p>
<p>It's fairly easy to give sound, helpful general essay advice - upbeat themes, fresh slants on topics, etc. - and very difficult to give specific advice, unless you know the child in question.</p>
<p>Along with the obvious need to demonstrate a decent level of writing, the most important job a good essay does is call attention to something important and appealing (to the college) about the writer, preferably something that isn't really called out sufficiently in the rest of the application. </p>
<p>It could be, ChiSquare, that what your daughter is able to write about the topic you have in mind could shine a light on some important, otherwise underplayed aspect of her personality, and serve as a useful college application essay. On the other hand, it could be that the good it might do her to write it would not translate into its being the best kind of essay for her to submit.</p>
<p>Without knowing your daughter, it's pretty hard even to guess. </p>
<p>But given what you've told us, here's one suggestion: Since she did ask for your advice, loft the idea of her writing two or three fairly quick drafts, on two or three topics. One could be what you've suggested here, and the other one or two - well, you know her, you can surely think of one or two topics that would offer a chance for the real ChiSquareD to show through. I'd emphasize that you don't want her to spend too much time trying to make them perfect, just to give them a try.</p>
<p>When you sit down with her and look together at what she does with that, it may help her, and you, see whether or not your idea is a path that will work. Just one idea.</p>
<p>What I've read and heard from admissions officers is that there are no bad topics, just topics badly done. The point is for the applicant to reveal himself in an original, insightful (and well written wouldn't hurt) way. Just because your family went through a difficult time doesn't mean your D isn't a happy person. If she can write about the experience without resorting to cliche, she should be fine.</p>
<p>The "I missed the winning shot in the championship game, but learned to love myself anyway" essay is supposedly the most cringe-inducing.</p>
<p>if you must use that topic, she can talk about how the roles of parenthood were inadvertently switched, as for the first time, she had to become a parental figure and provide the unconditional love, support, and guidance to help her dad recover. this made her more responsible, also teaching her the values of family-how in order to survive during the tough times, it is important to work together, stay strong, and persevere.</p>
<p>the trick with these college essays is that you have to write how whatever situation made you grow/realize who you are as a person. even with the darkest subjects, there has to be some positive aspect to bring out of it. but if this is a really touchy subject for your daughter, is it really the best one? she is going to be working on this essay for a long time...will she be comfortable enough and confident about her response?</p>
<p>I think you are lucky she will consider working on it in the summer...neither of mine wanted to approach that hurdle early. But in general, I believe that it is valuable, even if asked for topic help, to avoid giving direction beyond a brief list of wildly divergent possibilities. I believe admission readers are looking/longing for an authentic voice of the kid and what she comes to on her own is likely to be most useful. I'd suggest she write one or more on whatever comes to mind and that you'd like to be useful in being a final proofreader rather than the assignment editor...(besides, if you can get her to write more than one--or even one--you'll learn some interesting things.....)</p>
<p>Thanks, everyone, for your comments! Funny how you come to think of some of your fellow CC-ers as "friends", even if you don't know their name, location, and sometimes even gender!</p>
<p>D and I talked about this last night; I think she will take your suggestions to heart and come up with another topic. One thing she told me which I didn't know before is that the common app specifies subjects to write about - shows what a neophyte I am regarding this stuff. Did I write an essay to get into college? No recollection whatsoever.</p>
<p>Now let's see if she actually carries through with the plan to get started. Planning to write over the summer is one thing; putting pen to paper (or fingertips to keyboard) is quite another.</p>
<p>the essays on the common app are VERY VERY general. i wouldnt worry about their "topics". you basically write your essay first and then you decide later which category it best fits in.</p>
<p>i would say, let her enjoy the summer and start writing after july 4th. im sure she just finished school 2 or so weeks ago. let her relax for a little. you planted a little idea into her head, give her some time to let her digest and develop it before writing it down</p>
<p>Right, good advice. I'm trying to walk that fine line between Helicopter Pilot Mom and gently reminding her that summer, with the relaxed schedule, would be the ideal time to work on the essay. Ditto for the topic of the essay. Plant a couple of seeds and see if they sprout. And if not, well, that's her choice. She probably has a better feel for all of this than I do!</p>
<p>My daughter had an obvious essay choice along the lines of the dreaded "overcoming a bad sports outcome." She ended up writing that essay first, but did not belabor it. Once she had gotten that one out of her head, she was able to write the essays that sang about her. She never used the first essay, but I think it was therapeutic and allowed her to move on. If your daughter is "stuck" for a topic, getting this one on paper may allow her to move on.</p>
<p>Hang in there. Watching them struggle, avoid, and finally conquer the essays was one of my least favorite college application process memories!</p>
<p>Yes, we probably all should look for summer sales on duct tape...I follow Carolyn Lawrence's fine advice on this humble object as a metaphor for what we all need to get as gracefully as possible through the process we are in...</p>
<p>It is hard, but if she can find that thing that defines the framework of her life, that runs through her whatever she is doing, something that touches her, it becomes a powerful essay about her. DD wrote about how music became the common thread in her experiences both happy and sad and gave a couple of meaningful examples as of how it drew together key events in her life. It can be almost anything, people, books, sports, whatever touches her most will come through best. It will give insight into who she is beyond a bunch of stats. DD had several comments about her essay even in schools that used the audition as the principle selection criteria.</p>
<p>I'd suggest she writes an essay about this topic. Get it out of her head. Then she can try to think about other topics. My Ss wrote about many different ones. Some turned out far better than others. Those were actually the easiest to write.
One general tip: what should the essay say about the author (not about the teacher who inspired him or her, the life-changing experience, the issues raised by books that were read, but the author). This is the starting point of any essay. I still love Originaloog's story about his S writing about his crooked teeth life a picket fence, the essay by a former student poster about reluctantly embracing jogging, another about making a dessert that reminded her of her grandmother. Each gave the reader a good sense of the author's personality.</p>
<p>Excellent advice, above. I will just weigh in on the topic of how advisable it is for student's to draft those essays over the summer when they have time.</p>
<p>Of course it's advisable. But a lot of them won't do it. Having been there --- twice (due to transfer apps the year following freshman apps) --- I just want you NOT to fret if the sensible plan of doing the essay this summer does not happen.</p>
<p>Kids end up writing great essays at or near the last minute. Makes us parents absolutely crazy. I know it made me crazy. But even if they are not taking pencil to paper, they are often "working on" the essays by noodling things around in their heads. That's why they can come out so well near the application deadlines.</p>
<p>So, just for your own parental sanity, don't think that failing to write the essays now will lead to a poor outcome.</p>
<p>My advice for you is very simple do not try to advise your child on the essay. I did not read single one of my DD's essay nor did I insist on any topics. </p>
<p>Other than trying to make sure she submit them on time, I did not do any thing regarding our DD's essay writting. </p>
<p>She did her way and her Stanford admission officer actually sent her a hand written note about how he likes her essay.</p>
<p>Wow, Dad, I'm impressed.... I can see not insisting on topics, not forcing them to put pen to paper, not guiding them, blah blah blah - but not even reading it?! Geez, I'm not sure I could refrain from that - not so much for parental editing or anything like that, but just out of curiosity! I can't imagine having her go through this arduous application process and not even having a clue as to what her essay was about. </p>
<p>BTW, your post regarding D's high ACT scores on the other thread was a downer.</p>
<p>i wouldnt suggest giving her no guidance...at least proofread her essays and make sure it makes sense and gets the point across. sometimes you need help to get a 550 word essay down to 500</p>
<p>First- Congrats to H on his major accomplishment in sobriety! Only use an essay topic if it does not sound like an excuse and if it highlights and says things about your D that represent her passions, goals or insights. She needs to be very comfortable with the topic to use it effectively.</p>
<p>CS, first of all, English is not my first language so I don't think I could be of any help there. Secondly, I truely believe we should let student come up with original idea and express them in their own way. </p>
<p>Had I read my DD's essay, she might not be admitted to Stanford. Because I would have done everything I could to stop her from submitting a short essay about leaving her socks every where in the house.</p>