<p>Who knew it would be this hard to see the last one go? I thought I would breeze through senior year for D2 just as I did when D1 graduated. After all, D1 and I are very close and I managed to get through all of her "the last time we will do XXX" events without shedding a tear. I knew I would miss her when she was gone and I DO miss her each and ever day but, y'see, I still had D2 at home. I have always spent a ton of time with her and attending her games so I knew I would be plenty busy.</p>
<p>So now it's the beginning of the end of her HS years. Everywhere I turn, there are inescapable signs. I am planning senior night for her EC, digging through childhood pics to send in for the senior video and trying to stay on top of the deadlines at the college she has chosen to attend. I can vividly feel our focus starting to shift in the direction of the next four years but I'm just not done with the present. </p>
<p>Don't misunderstand - I want her to go away and have a fabulous college experience. I'm just a little surprised that I'm as emotional ALREADY as I am. This is my ornery daughter, the one with whom I have had endless little skirmishes about attitude and who doesn't share her deepest feelings with me as her older sis does. But she is my baby and I can already palpably feel how much I will miss her.</p>
<p>No great words of wisdom here…just another mom listening.
Isn’t it surprising how different each child is and how different our response is to each?</p>
<p>We have only one that went off to college and I felt sad with him gone for quite a while.
Our youngest is a young adult, finished with school, but with significant cognitive disabilities. She also has that ornery side (as many typical young adult females!) and she likely will be staying with us for the foreseeable future. THAT makes me sad in a different way! </p>
<p>So, stay or go, parents get to deal. I wish you luck in your journey with D2.</p>
<p>We have our youngest one with us still (the baby), and she is a junior in high school. We are not quite there yet, but I imagine it’s going to be hard when the time comes.</p>
<p>Our situation maybe a little bit different because we moved out of long time home this past summer due to my job. It was a house that D2 had lived all her life. When we packed, we went through a lot of her childhood memorabilia, so in a way we felt like we’ve said good-bye to it. She also said good-bye to friends whom she had known since K. When the high school graduation comes, I don’t think it’s going to be as emotional.</p>
<p>I was given the heads up that when your last leaves it’s a lot harder than sending your first off. For some reason I thought of my D2’s 1st day of kindergarten picture & how I will have to take a last day of school- sr. yr pictured… sob, sob…</p>
<p>Yes, On S2’s last day of h.s. I took a picture of him standing in front of the front door (just like on the first day of kindergarten) and another of him in his truck leaving the driveway for the last drive to h.s.</p>
<p>And for this mom of an only child, there’s no “first” and “last” about it. I anticipate that it will be really tough (more for me than either D or H). But we’ll make it a great transition, I hope …</p>
<p>It’s a big transition, and necessitates you saying goodbye to one phase of your life, and embracing the next one. We now have a college senior, and one several years out of undergrad, and we ENJOY our life as empty-nesters (while still missing the kids…). Take your time and process the change, mourn the end to day-to-day parenting, then get out there and find some new passions and EC’s. Say hello to casual, leisure dining (popcorn and wine for dinner last night!), lower heat and electricity bills and food bills, a refrigerator that doesn’t empty itself overnight, a house that stays clean… :)</p>
<p>It’s always bittersweet seeing the last child head off. One upside of having an empty nest (since fall '05 with a brief blip when D returned home after graduating) is that my DH and I can do things on the spur of the moment! I liken it to the freedom experienced BC (before children), except now it’s AD (after departure). And we can eat dinner and schedule vacations (sans kids) at our leisure.</p>
<p>Thanks all for your comments! I do know that the end of this phase of our lives is also the beginning of the next so my plan is to soak in every minute of the next nine months and then figure out what to do with my time after she leaves. I’ve had a few thoughts - maybe I should start a list.</p>
<p>@proudmomof2- I’m right with you! My oldest son is an OOS sophomore more than 1200 miles away. My “baby” will be closer- only 2 hrs in the car, but I doubt I’ll see him much more than his brother. </p>
<p>On top of that, I LOVE being a mom of a hs senior. Yes, there are still teenage issues, but a lot less than last year! And senior year is an exciting time. I love seeing all their senior pics, hearing about college plans, watching their senior sport season. It’s all good.</p>
<p>Guess I’ll enjoy this last semester and try not to shed too many tears. I do look forward to some of the positives others have noted, especially getting a chance to take some weekend trips. Maybe I’ll even get to visit the OOS son a few times next winter.</p>
<p>We’re in that dead spot between AD (after departure) and BGK (before grandkids). Many of my friends are just starting out on the grandkid stage of their lives and judging from their experiences, it looks like something fun to look forward to.</p>
<p>proudmomof2, I found that my mourning happened well before each kiddo left (kind of an ongoing process throughout senior year). By the time each headed off to college, I was nothing but happy for them. The second week after each left was rough, though.</p>
<p>I want grandchildren (but maybe not before spouses!) This feeling makes it clear to me, though, that the job that I loved best in my life was “mom”.</p>
<p>Proudmom, I felt exactly the same way. Last year, my ornery child, my baby, was a hs senior and every senior event was a bittersweet experience. I was happy for her, of course, but very aware of the fact that every event brought us closer to separation and a really empty nest for me. However, the dread was worse than reality. You should try to enjoy each moment and know that even though it will be different next year, it won’t be the end of the world.</p>
<p>there is an excellent thread on parent cafe…what to do with a empty nest…or something like that which addresses this subject…very good. at the top of parent cafe</p>
<p>My dread was terrible, for S1’s entire sr. year. Everything was “the last…”. For me, the reality was even worse than the dread. It was utterly terrible,for both D and me, for his entire fall semester. </p>
<p>S2 was a bit easier, but he was a more difficult child, and he lived at home while commuting. Made the separation issues mostly non-existent. He is now renting a nearby house we own, and it’s good (except now the emergency 1 a.m. calls include things like furnace breakdowns!)</p>
<p>D1 is an 8th grader, and I’m not sure how it will go in 4 years. Not easily, I imagine. I do really badly with anything for the first time, and better thereafter, so I’m hoping it’s easier. Plus, she has overcome so many issues with so much of her own hardwork, it will be fun to see her launch. She is H2’s only child though. He wasn’t all that supportive of me when S1 moved out and I know what’s coming for him. It will probably take both of us to keep him from renting an apt. in the college town.</p>
<p>S1 has a serious g/f of 3.5 years. Maybe marriage and grandkid 1 will come before D leaves. Lots of my friends also becoming grandparents and they are having a ball.</p>
Say hello to casual, leisure dining (popcorn and wine for dinner last night!), lower heat and electricity bills and food bills, a refrigerator that doesn’t empty itself overnight, a house that stays clean… :)</p>