the biggest decision of my life thus far: Happiness vs. What's "best" for me....?

<p>Hi all:
I eventually want to attend a top medical school, so I must perform well at the undergrad level.....</p>

<p>I was accepted to several top-notch universities and was offered decent scholarships/aid to three of them (will pay about half the full cost ~25k/year)...I am middle-class, pushin upper-middle class, so I won't be in that deep trouble financially should I choose to attend those schools...</p>

<p>However, I really think that I'll be happy at my state school, mainly because friends will be around and so I'll be genuinely comfortable, and I'll be really excited this summer because I can look forward to college...I've grown attached to my friends lately. </p>

<p>Truth is, I DON'T WANT to attend Stanford, or Cornell, or UPenn, or w/e, among other superb undergrad schools. But my mom really would like me to, and I realize that going to one of those will probably make the greatest impact on my future, something I probably won't regret...</p>

<p>I acknowledge that I may very well be happy at those top-tier schools, but at this moment in my life, I have a very, very difficult time deciding to give up my friends and what'll make me comfortable/happy for the next four years...</p>

<p>Any thoughts? Sorry for the long post...</p>

<p>So I guess the final decision is:</p>

<p>social happiness or a "brighter" future (since one of those schools will probably get me into a better medical school)</p>

<p>if you can maintain the work ethic you had in high school to get you into those schools, then go to your state school, get in an honors program and get personal attention from your teachers which can help you quite a bit in landing in grad school</p>

<p>thats my two cents, but make sure you make a decision that you feel good about making</p>

<p>From what I gathered from the post, it seems that you do not like to accept change of environment or huge scenario in your life... you rather have the same friends, same comfortable social environment close to home, and practically the same life-only this time you'll have to study harder and have more work to do...</p>

<p>I mean you want to go to a medical school, yet you do not want to change... A doctor is a perfect candidate to handle change of many multitudes in many ranges of scenarios and environments... if you feel that change=stress you should reconsider being a doctor, and look towards a profession that involves slightly less change, and more consistency.</p>

<p>So, you can take the easy route and accept the consistency and go to state school (nothing is wrong with it, state schools are great as well depending on the programs specified for each school) and live practically the same life you did the past 18 years you were born and become attached to a specific constant social network OR you can try challenging yourself by maintaining the strong relationships from your state but also gaining new ones at those 3 amazing universities-thus expanding your social network, giving you more opportunities, and also developing new skills to undertake change in one's life and other great personal aspects you'd gain by changing rather than being consistent throughout life.</p>

<p>That is just my 2 cents, I am not trying to hurt your feelings or anything or make fun of state schools (if you think thats what im implying i am definitely not, i do not judge a school because i am not capable of doing that). That is just my opinion... Now its up to you man... Change vs Consistency? Doctor vs Consistent/Slightly moderate change profession...</p>

<p>Good Luck in this mighty decision! Wish you the best!</p>

<p>P.S. I think you should go to 1 of the three universities closest to your state if you feel a bit homesick/uncomfortable, you can drive back/fly back as soon as possible or vice versa your family/friends doing that for you... I'd also say choose between cornell and upenn because they have AMAZING MD programs, especially Cornell's tri-institutional program degree associated with the university of columbia and NYU presbyterian hospital... and UPenn has an outstanding reputation as great pediatric/nursing specialities and specified on-campus childrens hospital. Again, that is just my 2 cents :D good luck on your endeavors!</p>

<p>you've been in high school for 4 years and u made really close friends that you want to stay with...but if u go to college for another 4 years u'll make great friends there too...why not try out the top schools that your parents want u to attend...if u are miserable you can transfer back=/</p>

<p>I understand how you feel in terms of your friends. But let me tell you a story.</p>

<p>Many years ago I had an option I turned down for the same reason as you mention--wanting to be where my friends were. Only trouble was that the group of people I believed to be "life-long" friends weren't. There wasn't any major drama--we just drifted apart within the first couple years of college. And so, in the end, I made a decision based on something that became somewhat irrelevant.</p>

<p>I know it's hard to think about being on your own without your comfortable support network being there. But the beauty of going away to college is that almost every single freshman you meet is going through the same thing. You will make new friends immediately. </p>

<p>In retrospect, I've always regretted not going for something more, and as a parent, I made sure my 2 kids were aware of my experience. I am glad that they each decided, for different reasons, to branch out from friends and blossom independently. That may be part of why your mom is pushing you a different way. </p>

<p>That said, you shouldn't go to the more prestigious schools to please a parent. It's your life and I'm sure you'll make the right decision, FOR YOU.</p>

<p>Please keep us posted on what you decide and best of luck in the process!</p>

<p>Yes, I definitely concede that in the long run this may not affect me so much...but I guess that I'm so darn stubborn and inflexible...wow do I grow attached to things fast...</p>

<p>You got into Stanford, Cornell and Penn and you're going to turn them down?!</p>

<p>Uhm..have you not read my friggin post?</p>

<p>go to your state school,
and please make sure you turn down cornell</p>

<p>so people who are on the waitlist can get a chance!</p>

<p>(yes, 1 down, 3000+ more to go =])</p>

<p>Honestly, you should never choose to go to a college based on the sole fact that that is where your friends are going. just my .02</p>

<p>go to stanford!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!</p>

<p>I would agree with curiouser. It's easy to want to go with what's comfortable and safe. But college is a time to branch out, take a chance, take a leap.</p>

<p>If you feel that UPenn, Cornell, or Stanford would be too intense for you in terms of academics or because they are too far away or whatever, I think that's more reasonable. I'm not saying that you shouldn't go to your state school (and I don't think your feelings are at all ridiculous or unreasonable, as some people seem to be implying), but you shouldn't go just because otherwise you'll feel out of your element for a little while or miss your friends.
The likelihood is that your friends will not be your same friends by the time you graduate from college. And you will make new friends--whether at your state school or at a top-noch university. Everyone who goes off to college is unsure and uncomfortable at first. It's not supposed to be high school all over again. It's different. It's often better not to drag the past along behind you. It kind of sounds like you just want things to say the same--but they can't. Trying to force that to happen is never a good thing.</p>

<p>And frankly, friends or a boyfriend/girlfriend are never a good enough reason not to pursue your dreams and goals. The majority of the time, people end up regreting not doing what was best for them.</p>

<p>However, you shouldn't be doing it for your mom either. You should do it for yourself. And if you truly feel that your state school is best for you, that's perfectly fine. But you shouldn't go to a school simply because your friends are there and you will feel more comfortable when you first go.</p>

<p>Whatever decision you make, just make sure you're making it for strong reasons and not simply for social comfortability. Good luck!</p>

<p>Take risks and don't look back.</p>

<p>Going to college with your friends doesn't mean you'll remain friends. Many, many people change a great deal in college due to the expanded options that college offers people to experience new things.</p>

<p>It would be a big mistake to chose a college based on where your friends are.</p>

<p>If you and your friends continue to have lots in common and make efforts to stay in touch, you'll continue friends regardless of where you go for college.</p>

<p>Try to think of yourself 10 years from now: </p>

<p>are you glad you stayed in your cozy little circle and rejected those amazing colleges, or are you glad you broke out and got a great education and new friends with similar goals as you? </p>

<p>It may be hard to imagine yourself in 10 years, but please try, it's good exercise.</p>

<p>And about your mom: if she didn't tell you what she thinks is better for you, you'd blame her for it for the rest of your life.</p>

<p>I really think you'd find Stanford a safe and pleasant environment. You don't say which state school you are talking about, but Stanford isn't exactly filled with torture chambers.</p>

<p>I say choose Stanford, you want no regrets in your life, and you should be excited you got in, Your friends are going to a state school, you probably wont see those friends again. Why would you want to dumb down yourself? be happy that you are intelligent enough to get a GREAT education, I say Standford, good luck.</p>

<p>I think it's a huge mistake to make a decision based on where your high school friends are going. You'll make new friends and keep the old. This is the point in your life where you're not constrained by relationships, the way you are when you get older, get married, have kids. Go for it, and best of luck!</p>

<p>To tell you the truth, I was in your same situation about two years ago, and I chose to stay where my friends were. I sometimes wish I hadn't.</p>

<p>I think your real question here is whether you're capable of really, really satisfying that definition of 'college.' Don't be afraid to put yourself in a completely new environment, make a whole bunch of new friends, and take challenges. Don't let the friends that you've made for the past 4 years define your life for the coming 4 years, even if they are amazing friends. And if you end up at your state school because of the mere friend reason, there's a chance that you're always going to look back and wonder what would have happened if you had taken that chance to attend one of those top-tier schools. </p>

<p>And if your friends are real, then you will stay friends with them wherever you end up, right?</p>

<p>Good luck deciding! Let us know!</p>