My daughter stopped pursuing more well known schools when she found one she liked. She’s a good student because she works hard. She didn’t want an LAC even though she was heavily recruited. She just wants to be a number, to take math and science and engineering. Even though she was in the higher end of the admissions stats, she still worried that she wouldn’t be able to handle it all. After the first test, the first set of grades, she saw that she could, and is very happy with her final choice. She’s not a big fish, or a little fish, she’s just swimming at her own pace.
And yes, she took the money and not the prestige and I couldn’t be happier either.
We always encouraged our pups to reach for the brass ring. Given their personalities, they wanted to reach as well, but they also understood that given our financial situation, they had to search for affordable options. Columbia and Stanford both provided terrific FA, well above the other options with merit aid they also qualified for. S has been on Dean’s list, D reports she is working hard and doing very well, as are all of her friends.
Aim high, so you won’t have regrets for not trying.
Looks like the claim is not about slacking off, but about building a complete resume (for either elite colleges or elite employers) including high level extracurricular achievement (that is more accessible to those from high SES backgrounds).
Both of mine followed the money. For the oldest, it meant getting into the major as long as she had the required GPA. At other schools, major entry would have been much more competitive, so that was nice. The youngest also took a full tuition deal and then was allowed to stack a private scholarship.
The think is, with the current glut of PhDs, lots of colleges have some pretty fabulous faculty fire-power these days. And even lower ranked schools have a pretty decent supply of kids who followed the money. Your kid is probably never going to be THE top student at any school. There should always be enough top students to create a challenging environment.
As to that “less competitive school” option. It can be pretty competitive! Especially for a flagship public. Where do you think all the high ranking, wanted Ivy but couldn’t afford it kids go?
Agree with @gouf78. Which is why a lesser-known private may be less competitive. Those schools can get some high-achieving kids with merit awards, but the finances dictate that to be a fairly small percentage.
It’s good that you want to leat your son decide (assuming all choices affordable). But don’t be afraid to have pros/cons conversations and perhaps even guide him if he is on the fence. A 17 year old may not be able to appreciate all the factors, especially financial impact to parents.
thanks for posting this question. I am having a hard time getting my dd to even apply to a reach school. She’s only looking at the next tier down schools, where we believe she will get great merit money. She wants to go Premed so believes the money would be nice to have left for med school and she believes she will get better grades and recs from a lesser school.
@ucbalumnus “Looks like the claim is not about slacking off, but about building a complete resume (for either elite colleges or elite employers) including high level extracurricular achievement (that is more accessible to those from high SES backgrounds).”
DD’s faculty advisor has emphasized the importance of this. He is challenging her to get a research assistantship, join a sorority, do an internship, be active in clubs and generally round out her resume and show a complete person. His view is that a 3.5 gpa with a lot of bells and whistles attached is better than a 4.0 gpa, if you spent your whole 4 years focussed on that.
Mine is in a less prestigious school than she could have been in. They offered her a ton of money, which we needed. The school still offered the small class sizes and programs that she wanted in the kind of community she was attracted to (close to a city but not IN a metropolitan.) She was singled out in her area of interest after her first assignment, first week of school and the mentors lined up quickly. The opportunities she’s had in just 3 semesters have far exceeded those of her friends that went to the Ivy leagues and similar institutions. It was certainly the right move for her.
I think it depends on how different the environment is that is being considered. If you are comparing “apples to apples” with one apple being more prestigious but the quality of peers still comparable, then I think it can work out nicely. It you are comparing “apples to oranges”… say the kid is best suited for a small liberal arts school but considering a massive public university… if they are looking at a school where the base line student is far below their average… then I think it might be trickier… not necessarily bad… just trickier.
My d at this time last year wanted to be the big fish and applied to mostly SEC schools and got nice scholarahips and accepted to all their honors programs. By spring when reality of a decision as to where to go came she had a change of heart. No change in the big school mentality fortunately as she applied to no small schools but opted to not be the big fish. She has no regrets and is doing very well.
Ultimately you know your son best. I would encourage him to apply to a range of schools that truly interest him. While he may feel stressed and anxious now, who knows how he will feel in the spring? Maybe he might regret not aiming higher? I think it will be critical to attend some accepted students events to see what feels right. Attending a class might give him a good sense about the level of challenge and where he feels comfortable. Regardless, he should be very proud of his academic accomplishments thus far! Also, if test scores are not consistent with his GPA, maybe look at test optional schools at fair test dot org
@bsmom123, that sounds like very solid reasoning by your D. Do you want to apply to a reach because you want her to be exposed to other opportunities or because you want her being comfortable taking risks and facing failure (which is worthwhile in its own right)?
I turned down more selective schools for a less-selective school. I did so primarily for the unique experience that the school offered, as well as their reputation within my field. It has now been eight years since I graduated and I have zero regrets.