<p>I was just wondering if there are any other other only children on this board. I started college this year and from what i can tell my experience has been different/difficult than others. </p>
<p>1 I am really attached to my parents. We are more like friends and I genuinely miss them and vice-versa. I mother cried for a week before I left and was too upset to drop me off so my dad took me and he cried when it was time to leave(first time i ever saw him cry!!) I don't blame them but it made me guilty for leaving.</p>
<p>2 I am not used to living with others and treasure my alone time which has made it harder to meet friends.</p>
<p>3 I have always been able to relate better to adults. My HS friends(ALL 4 OF THEM!!) were very mature. Sometimes I forget that I am a teenager because i don't fit the mould of the imature teen who loves to party etc..</p>
<p>There's probably more that I can't think of but I was wondering if any other only children or their parents have found it difficult to adjust to college life. I don't know any other onlies and have always wondered if others also have a stronger bond with their parent(s) or felt more mature than their peers. Thanks:-)</p>
<p>I'm an only child also, but I don't think my freshman year was as difficult as yours. For my mom, it definitely was. I'm her baby, her only, and all she has around now are the cats, so she was depressed alot for a while. </p>
<p>However, I was really shy in high school and coming right out of high school, it was hard for me to make friends first semester. I honestly just sort of stumbled into a group of people who were fantastic, awesome people and welcomed me with open arms. </p>
<p>I've always felt more mature than people that are actually my age, because I graduated high school at 16 with a bunch of 18 year olds. I was always in a grade higher than the kids that were actually my age, so I was almost forced to mature faster. But that's why I like college, because I feel more integrated, I guess. In high school, I was sort of an outsider because of my age. </p>
<p>I've never lived with anyone but my grandmother and my mom (together and separately) but those two are a handful in and of themselves, so that prepared me more for roommates I think. I think my roommates, people with siblings, have been less considerate than I have. My roommate last year was sort of stuck up, plus she snored REALLY LOUD. (Now, okay, I know that's a medical problem or whatever, by WHY on god's green earth would you sign up to share a room with someone if you KNEW you sounded like you were being strangled to death in your sleep every night???)
Anyway, I don't really like to be alone, so I don't need much alone time, so I can't say anything about this except you just sort of have to put yourself out there. Meet people in classes, say hi to people in the dorm... if you have ANYONE you know that would be willing to hang out, have them introduce you to people they know. That's how I met almost all of my friends, from introductions of people I already knew.</p>
<p>im an only child too. i know what you mean about the parent thing. i miss them prob wayy more than other kids and its really really hard on them too. but other than that i dont see how college experience would be any different for an only child. ive met lots of people and have a bunch of friends. im having a great time partying and what not.</p>
<p>I'm an only child as well. In contrast, I did not actually miss my parents that much when I left in all honesty. I think that it comes from the fact that I spent a lot of my childhood either among all adults when I was younger, or home alone once I was old enough, and that caused me to be a lot more independent. I actually live by myself now and I know a lot of people who say that they wouldn't want to/couldn't do it for one reason or another, whereas I don't feel the need to be around people all the time. Maybe it's also because I don't have a lot in common with my parents and I wouldn't want to talk to them at all if I wasn't related to them.</p>
<p>i definitely need lots of alone time and I was really worried about having to share a room freshman year and never have any privacy, but luckily my roommate seemed to think the same way and she went home every single weekend. I have always felt like I'm a bit more mature than most people my age and I relate better to people that are older than me, so I was really not thrilled about the "let's run screaming through the halls at 1am" type behavior and couldn't wait to get out of the dorms. I always get this impression that most people absolutely cannot stand to be by themselves for any extended period of time and must always have at least one other person around to entertain them, and I think pretty much the opposite, and I wonder sometimes if that was off putting to people and made them think that I didn't like them or I was stuck up or something. Who knows?</p>
<p>Yep, you've got an only child here too and what you've written sounds SO much like me. I am extremely attached to my parents, my mother especially. I haven't really left home yet. I left for a week, and then decided to move home because I just needed to be with my family. I also don't like living with other people. I need my space. I need my quiet. If I don't have it, I get verrry irritable and just not nice to be around. I'd also rather be friends with adults or older students. I like having adult conversations, and not have to talk about Myspace and iPods and things like that. I was raised with adults and I think that made me mature very fast. My family is kind of boring, we don't drink/smoke, and I have really no desire to go out and party/get drunk. I know what I'm in school for, so I take it sometimes I think more seriously than I should. </p>
<p>I think us onlies are far and few between. I think that because I'm an only child, that my life experience as well as my college experience will always be different. I'm used to just me, depending on my family, and working independantly on things (which is why in college classes that LOVE group work, I cringe. I hate working in groups!! You can't depend on the other people to do the work!) </p>
<p>You definately aren't alone though. I felt the same way as you do that week I was away from home. :)</p>
<p>I don't want to sound rude, seeing as all of you are only children, but I had an only child as a roommate freshman year, and it was rough. I have two brothers, one older, one younger. Consequently, I learned to share and make peace from an early age. If I didn't, either could punch harder than I could.</p>
<p>My roommate was frequently unwilling/unable to compromise or discuss problems in a reasonable way. She would call her mom and have her mom call me to talk about it...yikes. I stopped answering the phone when I saw her mom's number pop up, but the poor girl never really figured things out. She wasn't a bad person or anything; she was just lacking in people skills.</p>
<p>If you think you will have similar problems, PLEASE do something about it before you hit college. It was a headache dealing with her, even though we didn't have any huge problems (boyfriend sleeping over, taking stuff w/out asking, etc). Eventually I told her to look up conflict resolution online and just start reading. She got a single this year on the same floor as some of her other friends. I guess it's working out well for her now.</p>
<p>I'm an only child myself. In high school, I had many friends and was very popular, but my close-knit group of friends was made up of the mature ones (who weren't really into partying). My two best friends, however, were not students. They were faculty members. One is 12 years older than me and the other 30 years older than me. I spent more time with these two guys than I did anyone else.</p>
<p>I live at home with my mother (I was not close to my father and helped my mom kick him out of the house in 2001). My "roommate" is a 12 year old golden retriever. My grandparents and I are also very close.</p>
<p>I've observed a lot of only children and the social skills thing seems to be caused by having too many adults around in youth. This also leads to a lot of false diagnoses of Aspberger's Syndrome from what I've heard. Like AS children, there seem to be a few holes in the pavement as far as socialization with peers is concerned. However, what separates an AS child from a "regular" only child is the fact that an only will get along very well with adults and have no issues with them.</p>
<p>Now I personally like group work, but there is one catch--I have to somehow be the leader. It's something that is common in both onlies and firstborns. Only children are basically "enhanced" firstborns in some respects. (Thankfully I take a lot of morning classes and I'm the morning man that most are not, so I get to lead by default)</p>
<p>As for the "stuck up" stereotype--I think some people confuse maturity with being stuck up. I have a friend who is practically an only child (her oldest sibling is eight years younger than her and according to most references a difference of 7+ years with nothing in between makes different "families" as far as birth order goes). A lot of people think she is stuck up. Maybe it's because I'm a fellow only, but I just think those people are too immature to understand her.</p>
<p>The biggest side effect on me is that I tend to nitpick potential dating partners too much. The ones who are too concerned about their text messages, partying, etc. tend to be avoided. However, this is also about 95% of the population. But a single man always has his car and his dog, so I'm fine for now, right?</p>
<p>CMUGal, I have no problem dealing with other people, and when I was in a roommate situation, I wanted to do nothing but compromise (it was the roomie with the brothers and sisters who didn't want to!). My parents realized I needed people skills at a young age since I didn't have brothers or sisters and tried to get me in socialized environments early. I'll do what I have to do to make peace in a situation. I would never have my mom talk to my roomie about problems I was having with them. I don't like living with people and if I had a choice (if I lived on campus) I would want a single, that's true, but my parents taught me to adjust and compromise with others. I hope none of that sounded rude, I just wanted to defend the point that just because we're only children doesn't mean we can't compromise or deal well with people.</p>
<p>BlahdeBlah: I am planning to live alone next year too. But I get what you're saying about people not wanting to be alone. I know people who can't walk from class to class alone or who won't walk home or to the store alone and it amazes me because I'm the opposite. I do wonder sometimes if people think I'm weird and they probably do!!</p>
<p>Also to whoever said that not all only children have the same experience I agree and I'm the first to object to steroetyping. But I quickly realised that everyone else was as someone said running around the halls at 2am and linking one another from class to class while I wasn't. So, I decided to see if it was because of being an onlies. But everyone is different.</p>
<p>I'm an only child too and i feel the exact same way. I'm really far from home and miss my parents a lot. I've made "friends" here, but they're different from my (more mature) friends from home. I think I've always found it easier to relate to adults but it's never been so obvious to me than when I left for college. Has anyone found it hard to date people? I'm not into the drunken frat boys so that limits the dating pool.</p>
<p>I've got a friend who's an only child. She despises her parents and is great at compromising. I'm the oldest of two siblings, and I've never been one to always need other people around me, but my parents joke my roommate will move out because I'm...well...bad at sharing :P.</p>
<p>I think that dependence on others isn't something you get because you always had a brother or a sister. I think it's a personality trait. I also think you will miss your parents more if you had a good relationship with them, and I don't think that depends on whether you're an only child or not. I also think ability to compromise, etc. has NOTHING to do with having a brother or sister. I mean, one sibling is a lot of times pretty bossy...</p>
<p>On the maturity note. I have a lot of friends who say they are "mature" and yet to me appear condescending or stuck up. They aren't mature. Many people call themselves mature, but really, you just don't know how to have fun. You're only a kid once. Don't be a condescending asshat, go to a party, have a burping contest...maybe you'll actually enjoy yourself. To me maturity is knowing how to have fun not at the expense of others, knowing when too far is too far, knowing how to treat other people right, knowing how to be safe. None of those things would make you seem "stuck up" to me.</p>
<p>I'm an only child, but my experiance has been very different from yours. I don't miss my parents muvh at all (not that I don't love them or they werent great parents...I was just ready for teh independance), I've found I love have a roomate, and have adjusted to the small amount of space we have, even though I used to hav ea huge room to myself (of course, it helps that my roomate is AWESOME), and I never particuarly related to adults better, and have had very little trouble making friends. </p>
<p>So, there you go. I guess everyone is different. I feel like I've actually adjusted faster than some of my friends who aren't only chidlren.</p>
<p>Has anyone found it hard to date people? I'm not into the drunken frat boys so that limits the dating pool.<
Don't automatically tune out frat guys though. I thought that at first too, but there are some awesome guys in my hall that just happen to be in frats. They don't let it completely rule their lives. There are always the ones who are way too into it and that's their whole life, and that can be annoying, but just look around for the other ones. </p>
<br>
<p>I just found it hard to date my freshman year because I was in an all-girls dorm. I had a really hard time just meeting guys at all. My sophomore year however I am in a coed, and it's much easier to meet guys now.</p>
<p>Yeah...I'm an only child too and I really need "alone time". Most of my friends think it's weird that I'd sometimes rather stay home and read than hang out with them . My biggest problem with dating is that I have trouble getting a good balance of friend-time, boyfriend-time and alone time. Add studying for 3 AP classes and a sport(12 hours a week) and a part time job to the equation. Everybody gets mad if I don't hang out with them in my every spare minute...but I would go crazy without 1 night a week to myself. My ex-boyfriend seriously NEVER UNDERSTOOD that I had to spend some time alone, and that's why we ended up breaking up. I'm afraid that in college I'll never get any alone time, which is why I'm considering college close to home. Are all only children (at least slightly) introverted?</p>
<p>Me and my brother are twins, we are my parents only children. I wonder how my parents will feel when both of us are gone.... I wonder how I'll feel cause not only will I be separated from my parents but separated from my brother for the first time in my life. oh god i dont want to think about it lol</p>
<p>I’m an only child but I’m not as attached to my parents. I love them for sure but I’m very independent. I might be a little home-sick when I head off but that’s it. I can relate with the others who have said that they get along better with adults…I’ve been surrounded by them all my life lol. I don’t even have cousins around my age. I’m an only child and an only grandchild on one side of the family. I have a mild case of social phobia around people my own age but I’m hoping I will grow out of that…someday :p.</p>
<p>i’m an only child & i’m not attached at all to my parents, LOL.
living with a roommate will be weird though. i had 2 for a CTY summer program i did this past summer & 1 of them was kind of a neat freak & got really annoyed with me, haha. but whatever, i try to keep my mess on my side of the room ;)</p>
but I’m very independent. I might be a little home-sick when I head off but that’s it. I can relate with the others who have said that they get along better with adults…I’ve been surrounded by them all my life lol. I don’t even have cousins around my age. I’m an only child and an only grandchild on one side of the family. I have a mild case of social phobia around people my own age but I’m hoping I will grow out of that…someday :p.</p>