<p>Hey Parents,
I go to UCI right now, and I really wanna transfer, preferably to WashU or Columbia. Anways, since I got the whole in-state deal, we only pay 8K a year. Now my family is pretty free on expenditure, like we eat out twice a week, that kinda thing. Now that I wanna go to these private institutions, I see that hte costs of a private school are roughly around 45K. My dad was telling me the otehr day that if i were to go to a private school (he doens't know im wanting to transfer btw) that we woudln't be able to enjoy anything, and never be able to eat out, etc. My parents in total make around 175K, and i don't know how any of these financial deals work out. I'm nto an inconsiderate child and i do'nt want ot put my parents through a financial crisis if i transfer. Will my parents be in that big of a rut if i go? thanks a lot guys!</p>
<p>No one can really answer this question for you, because we don't know what your family's financial situation is really like, or how much financial aid, if any, they might qualify for. We also don't know what your academic profile is like, so we can't really judge whether you might qualify for any merit scholarships at WashU as a transfer (Columbia does not give merit scholarships). So, really, no one can answer your question except you and your parents.</p>
<p>With that said, my advice would be to sit down and spend some time thinking about your reasons for wanting to transfer and what you would hope to gain from transferring. Make a list of the reasons why you are not happy at Irvine, and what you see these other schools offering. Also, make a list of all of the good things about Irvine (besides just the cost) and weigh the pro's and con's. </p>
<p>At the same time, give some honest thought as to how you might be able or willing to contribute to make transferring a reality: Could you work during the summer? Would you be willing to take a part-time job during the school year to help pay for your college costs? Would you be willing to take out student loans (which will, after all, be in your name) or take responsibility for paying back any loans your parents might need to take to help fund your transfer? Would you be willing to consider less expensive private schools, or ones where you would at least be eligible for merit scholarships? After you've considered all of these issues, sit down with your parents and have a calm and logical discussion about your reasons for wanting to transfer, the financial implications for your family, and your willingness to contribute -- then see what you decide on as a family.</p>
<p>imran, you wrote,</p>
<p>"My dad was telling me the other day that if i were to go to a private school (he doesn't know im wanting to transfer btw) that we wouldn't be able to enjoy anything, and never be able to eat out, etc."</p>
<p>Your dad already answered your question.</p>
<p>You could ask them to take out a loan that you will agree (in writing) to assume upon graduation. They would have to tighten their belts for 2 years, but not forever, if you are good on your promise.</p>
<p>It's even worse than you think. In your parents' tax bracket, they have to earn about 75,000 pre-tax dollars to pay that private school tuition. It's not 45/175, it's 75/175, or about 40% of their income. Unless they have structured their lives to live on 60% of their income, the $45k would have to come out of assets, not income. This sort of thing requires planning quite a ways in advance. </p>
<p>The "bad" thing about living in a state with first-rate public colleges is that it becomes harder to justify private school full-boat tuition. You mention that you don't want to put your parents through a financial crisis. You're the kid, they're the parents. If you apply and get accepted at WUStL or Columbia, you might find out that your parents want to pay for it. It's their decision, not yours. Your job is to sit down and have a frank talk with your parents about what you want to do. Asking a bunch of strangers (like me!) isn't going to help you much -- we're not going to pay your tuition...</p>
<p>thanks for your replies guys. well there are a couple of things that i forgot to mention (my apologies), and one thing is that my dad is dead set against me going to a private university or any place which will cost more money but when i asked my mom (she knows about me transferring) she said we'll be "fine", which is a hopelessly vague term. and another thing, my parents for whatever reason are COMPLETLEY against me getting a job or making me shoulder any part of any financial burden, so getting a job owuld be out of the question. </p>
<p>also i guess i dind't really clarify my post, which probably seemed like a rant to most of you guys, but i guess what i reallly meant is how much stress is it on a family w/ that salary range. i have some pretty solid reasons for transferring which outweigh the benefits of staying at Irvine for the next 3 years, and i've already sent in my washu app, so i guess i'll have to wait and see. also, based on my stats, i had a poor (3.2 HS gpa) and a 3.9 college gpa, so i doubt i'd qualify for merit.</p>
<p>Your "pretty solid reasons for transferring" are supposed to cost your parents 45K a year? Pshaw.</p>
<p>If your parents are like a lot of parents, mom says things like "we'll be fine" because she wants it to be fine, because she wants you to have whatever you want. Your dad, on the other hand, seems to be more concretely saying "No way" for financial reasons, which is entirely fair. You seem to think it is unreasonable for your dad to be "dead set against me going to a private university or any place which will cost more money." That's his prerogative. You don't get to choose how to spend your parents' money. You aren't entitled to have them pay for whatever college you choose. Your dad has laid down some pretty clear financial boundaries, and you need to respect them. Playing one parent against the other just adds to the selfishness aspect.</p>
<p>If you want to transfer so badly, why can't you transfer to another UC or find a college that will be in the same range?</p>
<p>If this seems like a harsh post, it is. You're looking for people to tell you what you want to hear - your mom, parents on the forum, etc. - and the realities of life aren't like that. You're getting an education in the UC system, which is the best public college system in the country, and you're getting it cheap. Be happy.</p>
<p>DespSeekPhd has it right - If you really want to transfer you should investigate more affordable colleges. There are thousands of colleges in the United States, most of them don't cost $45,000. It would be a reasonable thing to tell your parents that you want to transfer, explain your reasons and then show them several colleges that are in different price ranges.</p>
<p>A 3.9 college GPA is excellent. I don't see the problem with finding out what kind of financial package OP could get from Wash-U. I've heard they can be good with merit $$. But it certainly makes sense to look at other, more affordable options. Columbia, with no merit aid, sounds like a total non-starter.</p>
<p>With parents making 175K you will not get any financial aid at WashU (no merit either looks like).</p>
<p>If your dad is dead set against paying for private school tuition, then that's pretty much the end of the story, regardless of how "reasonable" or "unreasonable" other people may think he's being. As previously noted, it's your parents' money.</p>
<p>Is your father also dead set against filling out financial aid forms? If so, then all that's left for you is merit money. If you can get enough merit money to bring down the costs of a private school to approximately that of UCI, will your father still have a problem with your transferring?</p>
<p>It also sounds like you haven't explained in depth all your reasons for wanting to transfer, and why you believe the problems that you're having at UCI will be resolved at another school (and won't simply be traded in for another different set of problems - no school is perfect). A frank discussion with both your parents at the same time is called for here.</p>
<p>2 more yrs. at your school=$16,000
2 yrs at say $40,000= $80,000
Difference=$64,000</p>
<p>$64,000 for 60 weeks of school =$1066 more pre taxed money each week</p>
<p>Be ready to justify this with your parents and yourself when you speak with. them.</p>
<p>I very much wanted to attend a LAC vs. Univ of Wisconsin (my home state school). My father saw no reason to pay the additional expense and said NO. I got a merit scholarship and he said he'd pay the room/board making it about the same cost. Then just before I went to school, my dad did what I believe was the morally correct thing and said if I really wanted to go, he'd pay. He felt someone else could use the scholarship more than our family.</p>
<p>This was years ago but I suspect the income to tuition ratio is similar. Subsequently he became a huge fan of liberal arts schools. My brother attended a LAC and my sister had to argue when she wanted to go to Madison! It was the best school for her field at the time, but my father had been converted. Transfers are probably in a somewhat different situation but it would be wise to expand your search to other schools.</p>
<p>I would hae applied to UCLA, but the applications apparnelty are due at november 30th so yea ~_~. i'm not trying to play one parent off on the other, it's just that my dad is one of those people who think that even if im happy or not (which im not, and I have solid reasons, if you guys want them down below(my mom knows them btw)) that iti's just "fine" to go to UCI.<br>
And even if it's his prerogative to control the finances, i think at the very least he has a duty to make sure I'm happy, which I"m sure you would agree with. it's just that he doens't see any benefits in going to a private school. My mom had to really really convince my dad that taking my sister to a private middle/high school was better than a public school (and where we live, private >> public quality wise). </p>
<p>anyways, for transferring reasons, i just really want a mroe intellectual atmosphere, more academic rigor, more diversity (cultural and hobbies/itnerests/etc), and just a more unified campus. I've visited WashU before and I have some friends who go there as well so I have a feel for the kind of atmosphere they have. But if WashU done'st pan out (i don't know how good my chances are, but they're decent i imagine) I was going to try for UCLA or Berkeley, but I think there's better ones out there.</p>
<p>"It's even worse than you think. In your parents' tax bracket, they have to earn about 75,000 pre-tax dollars to pay that private school tuition. It's not 45/175, it's 75/175, or about 40% of their income. Unless they have structured their lives to live on 60% of their income, the $45k would have to come out of assets, not income. This sort of thing requires planning quite a ways in advance."</p>
<p>NO private college expects parents to pay the freight out of current income (except those in the top 3% bracket.) They expect it to come out of either past or future savings (i.e. loans). Your parents don't have to change a thing in their current lifestyle IF they are willing either to 1) pay for it out of current assets; or 2) pay for it out of future income. (From their perspecitve, that might be worse than taking it out of current lifestyle - all families are different.)</p>
<p>"NO private college expects parents to pay the freight out of current income (except those in the top 3% bracket.) They expect it to come out of either past or future savings (i.e. loans). Your parents don't have to change a thing in their current lifestyle IF they are willing either to 1) pay for it out of current assets; or 2) pay for it out of future income. (From their perspecitve, that might be worse than taking it out of current lifestyle - all families are different.)"</p>
<p>Mini, who cares if the colleges don't think you have to pay out of your current income? You are the one paying!</p>
<p>1)If you pay out of current assets, this may affect your future financial well being and quality of life.</p>
<p>2) Who knows what your future income will be. If you guess wrong and your future income is lower than expected, you will suffer the consequences, not the college.</p>
<p>3) I would be p***** if I said no, and my kid applied anyway expecting me to pay.</p>
<p>4) The dad gets to decide how much he can afford to pay, not anybody else because he is the one paying.</p>
<p>5) There are cheaper alternatives than WashU and Columbia, and Imran that is your responsibility to find those, not your dad's.</p>
<p>6) If you missed the deadline to apply to Berkeley and UCLA (2 of the best schools in the US), that's your problem, not your dad's.</p>
<p>listen, it's not a concrete no, he's just saying it might be difficult. but i have no clue how much he looked into the whole financial deal thing. and no.6 is a given, but thanks for saying it anyways...</p>
<p>
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i think at the very least he has a duty to make sure I'm happy, which I"m sure you would agree with.
[/quote]
</p>
<p>Nope. He has a duty to see that you are clothed, fed and have medical care. He may have a moral obligation to educate you, but once you are an adult, it's no longer a "duty". Making sure your kid is "happy" to the tune of $40K per year may be "nice" but under no circumstances is it a "duty." (And by the way, there's no duty to send a child to a private school either.) </p>
<p>Oh, and there's no way that you can know or promise your parents that you will be "happy" wherever it is that you transfer to. It's a lot of money to spend for a possibility.</p>
<p>Also remember that if your parents don't have sufficient retirement savings, one day you may have the responsibility of supporting them in their old age!</p>
<p>
[quote]
And even if it's his prerogative to control the finances, i think at the very least he has a duty to make sure I'm happy,** which I"m sure you would agree with.**
[/quote]
</p>
<p>No, I for one do not agree with with even remotely that I have a duty to make sure that my child is happy (especially when it concerns spending
$135k for that happiness. Can you say entitlement, as it surely seems as if you have some major entitlement issues going on.</p>
<p>Well even if wash U does work out, I wouldn't bet the farm on your getting merit aid as a transfer student. You state that your father is opposed to paying frull freight for a private school (which will most likely be the case). If you are set on transferring, that is your choice, but I think you need to clearly understand how much your parents are willing to pay and/or borrow in order for you to do this, so that you transfer with your eyes wide open and won't be disappointed should you be admitted to a 40k school adn they remind you it was never their intention to pay for it.</p>