<p>I am a big believer in having the best college experience you can. Those 4 years will become a part of who you are for the rest of your life. While $64,000 sounds like a ton of money now, I guarantee you that in 20 years it will seem like a bargain, and you will regret not having taken the risk. So personally, I'd recommend you push for the change but also, as I stated earlier, shoulder the cost as soon as you can.</p>
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So let me see if I have this correctly. You applied , were accepted, and chose to attend UCI after your high school career. Your parents paid full freight for you. None of your earnings, none of your assets, no work study or loans. UCI is clearly a top 100 Research Uni. You attend for one year and have great GPA. </p>
<p>Now you decide for what has yet to be explained to us "good reasons" to attend another school, "better" than UCI or it seems even Cal or UCLA, in your opinion- </p>
<p>"But if WashU done'st pan out (i don't know how good my chances are, but they're decent i imagine) I was going to try for UCLA or Berkeley, but I think there's better ones out there."</p>
<p>"This school is on my list but I like the other one better just 'cuz. " wouldn't have been the degree of information I required to pay $10K a year more, much less $30k (which I couldn't have paid anyway.). </p>
<p>But you missed those deadlines anyway. </p>
<p>The first question I have if I understand the situation correctly is -</p>
<p>*what specifically will you gain by attending Columbia or WashU that you cannot find at Irvine, Berkeley , or UCLA? *</p>
<p>OP it seems that you had a good year and you want to trade up to a more luxurious model but you haven't told us why this will help you or bring you something different . Presently or in the future. Just that these other schools are "better". </p>
<p>That wouldn't be good enough for me. At our house it was "and if this more expensive school has a mentor or program or experience or something that takes it above the more affordable school we will consider it." </p>
<p>"This school is on my list but I like the other one better just 'cuz. " wouldn't have been the degree of information I required to pay $10K a year more, much less $30k (which I couldn't have paid anyway.). </p>
<p>I do notice that there are no schools lower rated (or of less selectivity) than Irvine on your list where you may have a decent shot at merit aid (which is VERY limited for transfers). Why is that?</p>
<p>"Mini, who cares if the colleges don't think you have to pay out of your current income? You are the one paying!"</p>
<p>Absolutely. But it seems that both the OP and his dad are working under a misconception, which doesn't make things easier. If it were my kid, I'd say no way, but then I don't even have anything close to that income to be able to say so.</p>
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<blockquote> <p>And even if it's his prerogative to control the finances, i think at the very least he has a duty to make sure I'm happy, which I"m sure you would agree with. >></p> </blockquote>
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<p>With all due respect to the OP....I do not agree with this at all. Your parents' "duty to make soure you are happy" does not include a huge expense for college UNLESS THEY ARE WILLING TO DO THIS. Bottom line, you need to have a serious chat with BOTH of your parents at the same time to determine if even applying to transfer is worth your time and money. The biggest question <em>I</em> would be asking you if you were my kid..."How can I be sure you will LOVE this $45,000 a year school and won't want to transfer after one year?" Be prepared to answer that one. Right now your parents' financial obligation for college is modest, it seems...and you aren't happy. Who is to say a larger expenditure would make you happy? And that you missed the transfer deadline to two of the best universities in the country (that would have also been modestly priced) concerns me, and it would certainly be something i would want explained if I were your parent.</p>
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[quote]
NO private college expects parents to pay the freight out of current income (except those in the top 3% bracket.)
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</p>
<p>What percentile is $175,000 per year?</p>
<p>OP: If you really want to attend those colleges, you will probably have to do like myself and get massive loans. Make sure that's what you want to do and that your parents would be willing to cosign - and make sure they have good credit!</p>
<p>Personally, if I was in Cali, I would attend Cal for undergrad and Columbia for grad. Transferring to Columbia is very tough (<10%) and they have VERY LIMITED TRANSFER AID. WashU is rich, but I'm pretty sure they put most of their money towards attracting and paying for the top students for their incoming freshman class.</p>
<p>College is an amazing experience, as has been said, and can be well worth the money. Just realize that it's not your parents' responsibility to pay for the college bill (in fact most won't/can't!). At the least, you have attended UCI for two years for what is relatively a VERY cheap price. Depending on what/where you want to go after undergrad, the extra money can be well worth attending WashU or Columbia, which are incredible schools with great job/grad school placement, but they are not worth 30k a year more if you have Berkeley in your backyard!</p>
<p>Just the truth.</p>
<p>curmudgeon i already addressed my reasons for transferring in the first page towards the bottom, that should address your questions. As for why I did not choose any schools below UCI? Because I know there is a trend that colleges ranked higher have more of hte atmosphere I'm looking for, bottom line. </p>
<p>Missing UCLA and Cal's deadline was a big mistake on my part, and I"m willing to take the blame for that. But as I have bene to WashU and Columbia already, have seen the students there (as well as knowing a couple that go to both), I can assume with a fairly high degree of certainty that I will be happier there than I am now. And I'll talk to my parents as soon as I hear something from WashU. If they don't want to pay the tuition, then I"ll take it on the shoulder, there's always Cal or UCLA year after I guess...</p>
<p>If you're willing to work hard (make good grades), I can't understand why parents with such a high income wouldn't be willing to pay your tuition. We make considerably less (almost 1/2) than your family and we're still planning on sending our D to a private college. We're not getting a lot of financial aid because we're "middle income", but we think that the education D will receive will be worth it. Not all students belong at large public schools, some kids will thrive in smaller settings with smaller classes, more opportunities for interaction with faculty, and more research opportunities. On the other hand, we won't be able to afford to help D with graduate school. So she knows that she will need to perform well as an undergrad and hopefully get some assistance from whatever grad school she attends.
We don't eat out, we don't take vacations, we drive used cars, etc., but we think the sacrifices are well worth it to provide a great education to our child.
BTW, we have another D who is happy to attend the honors program at a public institution (and she has a full-tuition scholarship). It's a good fit for her.</p>
<p>I think many of these (well meaning) posters are being too tough on this young person (what is s/he 19-20?). We all make mistakes and bad decisions. It is much smarter to fix the error if you can, rather than stick it out on principle.</p>
<p>Anyone who has visited both UCI and Columbia knows that their vast differences go without saying. (don't know WashU)</p>
<p>Imran, if you are applying to WashU, I'd say go for Columbia too. If you are accepted, perhaps your dad will be so thrilled that he will be happy to work out some financing for you. You don't have much to lose by trying.</p>
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<blockquote> <p>anyways, for transferring reasons, i just really want a mroe intellectual atmosphere, more academic rigor, more diversity (cultural and hobbies/itnerests/etc), and just a more unified campus.>></p> </blockquote>
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<p>I don't think we're being harsh on the OP...perhaps just realistic. The above reasons are good reasons for wanting to transfer. HOWEVER, even the OP says that Berkeley or UCLA would have been fine, but he missed the deadline. AND I have to tell you both Berkeley and UCLA have excellent reputations and would fulfill what the OP says are his reasons for transfering. You have to wonder...if the deadlines for transfer applications had not already passed, would he be considering those schools which financially are in the same ballpark as UCI? If I was one of his parents, I would want to know the answer to that question. Yes, many kids make mistakes when deciding and ultimately enrolling in college, and yes, this can be corrected. But, his father in particular has made his opinion very clear. This student needs to sit down with both parents and discuss this NOW. They need to come to some kind of agreement on what his next step should be. If they are willing to support a transfer to private school...great. If not, and he still wants to do this, he should be well aware of the cost he will incur himself. He can do it...but it will be a lot of work. AND his parents do NOT have to agree to pay...they just don't, regardless of their income.</p>
<p>OP, is this what you are referring to as your specific reasons you've laid out to your parents for transferring? </p>
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[quote]
anyways, for transferring reasons, i just really want a mroe intellectual atmosphere, more academic rigor, more diversity (cultural and hobbies/itnerests/etc), and just a more unified campus.
[/quote]
WashU and Columbia have more rigor, a more intellectual atmosphere, and more diversity than Cal by a meaningful margin? I'm not so sure you can make that case in all departments , are you? </p>
<p>
Remeber that was lower ranked where you can get merit aid and remove some burden from your family. Not just lower ranked. I don't know what bottom line means in this instance but will note it is an accounting term. Are you sure about that trend? That's not a uniformly accepted premise. Especially not on CC. So bottom line, you want a higher ranked school than Cal and think that should be worth $30K a year to your parents who have told you it will cause them some pain. </p>
<p>I believe you have been asked for the amount of this extra burden you are willing to carry . The response "They don't want me to carry any. " isn't really sufficient is it? I mean , you ain't exactly following their wishes on the other thing, are you? So, how much is it worth to you of your own money, time, and effort? </p>
<p>Look OP. You're dad is not being un-reasonable. That amount of money is hard to come by. Give the guy a break. He's not being an ogre. This is a family decision but ultimately your parents get to choose how much they can afford. Sounds to me like they are doing that.</p>
<p>well i've already said, i made a big mistake in overlooking the Cal and UCLA deadlines, and to be honest I would have put both very high on the list if I wasn't so stupid. But my concern is, is it hoenstly worth transferring after 2 years? I've missed out half the college experience and that doens't seem smart at all. And I've been looking at the admissions site at universityofcalifornia.edu and it seems that they don't take any sophomore applicants anyways, so I don't nkow if I would have even gotten in at this stage...</p>
<p>My original question was "how much of a burden would my parents have to carry if i went to a private school". I never said my dad was an ogre, just that I respectfully disagreed with him. And I said my mom supported my decision to transfer and she said it's "fine" in talking about paying for my tuition. And yes i suppose technically they have no obligation to see that I am happy, but I come from a first generation Asian family, and taht type of mentality is one that is wholly alien to them, because a kid is seen as a kid, regardless of age. I have no doubt that my dad wants me to be happy too, but he isn't sure if the private tuition is worht it.</p>
<p>
Hold onto that. You are very fortunate to know that he is considering your happiness when he is making this decision. I think that's about all we can ask of our parents. But should it work both ways? ;) I know from your previous posts that you know the nswer to this one. Good luck.</p>
<p>Imran, you wrote...
"how much of a burden would my parents have to carry if i went to a private school".</p>
<p>The answer is up to your parents. Nobody else. You are asking the wrong people. </p>
<p>Ask your parents.</p>
<p>And it looks like your dad already said it is too large a burden.
If your dad says it is too large a burden, it is too large a burden.</p>
<p>If you are asking if there are other people who make $175,000 who would also think it is too large a burden, in many cases, yes they would. But that's the wrong question.</p>
<p>The question is what do your parents think? That's it. Whoever pays decides.</p>
<p>,Transferring from one UC to another as a Junior can make a lot of sense -- I transferred from UCLA to Berkeley as a Junior (eons ago) to major in a field not available at UCLA and it worked out well. UCLA and Berkeley are at least as good as WashU and Columbia -- diverse, intellectually rigorous, full of opportunities for hobbies and interests, beautiful campuses -- and have much better weather! You could also consider doing a Junior Year Abroad program through UC, which is a fantastic deal. My attitude, as a California parent, is that unless a school has something that UC's don't offer, it is hard to justify spending so much more on tuition, travel, clothing, etc.</p>
<p>Missing the transfer deadlines to the other Cal schools destroys your credibility about how unhappy you are; at least it would if you were my kid. If it's not worth it to you to make sure you fulfill the deadlines, why should it be worth it to me to write the check? Why should I care more than you do?</p>
<p>And by the way, the only one with a responsibility for your happiness is you. As it's said, "Most people are only as happy as they make up their minds to be."</p>
<p>Imran, Dstark is right in saying that this is a family matter. You and your parents need to sit down and discuss this. Statements like those that you have been quoting from your parents are often made on the fly, and the final conclusion that your parents reach my be completely different from what they said to you. THey need to think about things, mainly the finances and see what can be done. There may be things looming in the background or future that you do not know that could impact their decisions. The financial impact of a private school tuition vs where you are going and paying now is large, anyone can see that. But your parents may be able and willing to cover it. You have done well at UC, and I think you have some valid reasons for wanting to go to a different atmosphere. On the other hand, it would not be a disaster to stay where you are. All of the pros and cons need to be aired and then your parents need to check the numbers, mull things over, talk, and then probably discuss things with you again before making a decision.</p>
<p>Chedva I think you're being a bit unfair in that aspect; the deadlines for UC applications are Nov 30th, and my desire ot transfer only really becamse solid towards the end of the fall quarter, which was a few weeks after that deadline. </p>
<p>but anyways guys, thanks for your input, i defintely need to talk to my parents about how affordable/feasible the idea is.</p>
<p>Well, imran, then that's a legitimate reason to miss the deadlines, which could easily change my or your father's determinations.</p>
<p>Good luck to you.</p>
<p>imran, as a parent paying for a private college out of current income, I'd say that if your dad anticipates this being a burden (and $45K is a lot more than many private colleges), believe me, he's going to resent it. A few things you need to think about when trying to figure "ability to pay"--Do you have younger siblings? Do your parents have a large mortgage? Other debt? Any savings? How long have they had the $175K income--many years or just recently? My advice is to stick it out at UCI and make it work--8K a year for a fine school--you should be happy not to have to work, take out loans. Try looking at it from that perspective.</p>